paddington bear Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Ok, so I'm an idiot, but I'm kind of excited. I'm soon taking off for a few weeks to work and live day and night with a man, a very nice man, who might I add has clarified that he only wants to be friends for now and yet does everything in his power to make sure we spend a lot of time together, such as this work thing, which due to dire financial status I have to take, but yeah I admit it, I am looking forward to it aside from the much-needed earnings. He's been out of town a couple of weeks and I miss him, we've become good friends over the last months and I've got used to him just being there. I've been trying to friendszone him, but he's making it hard by being so damn nice and simply around all the bloody time. Now this, day and night together for weeks. First guy ever in my life who calls me when he says, and then stays on the phone for hours, first guy who genuinely cares about me and my welfare and goes out of his way to try an help me out unasked for. He makes me laugh, he 'gets' me, I get him too and yet...he doesn't want me 'in that way'. It's not confusing me any more, I know where I stand as I've been told, but it doesn't mean any other emotions I have about him just go away either...I'm trying hard, but it's not that easy, going to be even harder when I see so much of him. I know what I'm like. More feelings will develop. These few weeks are probably going to be an utter disaster. I will either fall really hard for him, or will have to endure watching him trying to get into the knickers of other girls while pretending I don't care as we're 'friends', or after spending too much time together we will end up hating one another. Sigh. This is not really going to help move on from him is it? And what is he playing at? Either he's just being a good friend and trying to help me out any way he can, but I have the strong feeling that he's putting in a supreme effort to keep me around him as much as possible, while not actually going further with things, thus obstructing me from meeting or getting emotionally attached to someone else. Mind you, it hasn't obstructed me that much and he's not been happy when other guys have hit on me. And stupidly that makes me feel flattered. I am, as I mentioned, An Idiot. Sorry, this is just a long ramble really with no specific question. Anyone's thoughts about the unfocused ramble appreciated
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