Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Now, don't get me wrong or anything, I am not all that educated on this. But this is regards to women on dating profiles that say to men, "If you don't want children, please move on, because I want them" I look to see their age to e in their 20s or early 30's but this woman is in her late 30's (38). Wanting to start a family..the works. But, by that age...isn't it getting to risky to start a family healthwise at that age?
paddington bear Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Yes it is, but I guess at that age...I'm 2 years off hitting 38, you really don't want to be wasting time with some guy who's humming and hawwing about whether he wants kids or not. I've a cousin who had her first child at 40 and then another 2 years later, all healthy and fine. No, it's not ideal, but it's worth a shot if that's what you really want from life. And can I add, I'm sick to death of articles warning women in their 30's that they should have had children in their 20's, that they are being selfish by concentrating on their career and putting off having children. No one seems to mention that finding some guy who actually wants to have children with you at the ideal time is part of the issue here, it's not all us being selfish, career women who see children as some kind of lifestyle accessory to have at the perfect time. If no one is willing to have a relationship with me how on earth am I or anyone else supposed to start a 2 parent family??? Drives me crazy, really does. Sorry for taking over your post with a bit of a rant. Grrrrr.
Balthazar Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 We did a whole thread just a few weeks ago about this Bells...read up on it. Science and statistics were thrown all around the place. The gist of it is that 38 is ok, although not as good as 33 or 28 or 23. Problem is there are a lot of single people around 40 who want families and children and a higher risk in birth defects will not affect them to a significant degree. That's modern society so I guess we are just going to have to live with it and the consequences. Cheers,
blind_otter Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 There is an elevated risk for downs syndrome, the older the mother gets...and it may be more difficult to recover, depending on her lifestyle during the preceding 38 years. I have a 2 month old, I'm 28, and I'm exhausted right now - but it also depends what kind of baby you have. I do know that you usually HAVE to deliver in a hospital setting and are considered "high risk" - I delivered at a birth center, they will not take mothers who are over 37.
westernxer Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Funny, I met a girl online who asked me about this when we first talked on the phone. Gave me the impression she was looking for a role player, instead of a guy who had real thoughts, dreams, and emotions. Mildly disturbing, if you ask me. I basically told her it depended on whether or not I clicked with somebody. We never met, end of story. I'd rather stay unmarried than settle for pawn status.
mopar crazy Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I've heard, and read, that a woman 35 and over have a higher risk of a child have Downs Syndrome but that doesn't always hold true. The risk is just higher. My cousin had her youngest at the age of 36 and he is a healthy 3 yo boy. I do know a friend who is 40 that has tried to get pregnant w/ her fourth child. She has had three miscarriages since she has been trying. She is a client of ours and we all have said she needs to stop trying b/c of her age and having so many miscarriages, it's not good for her body. Even her own doctor said she needs to stop.
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