Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I'll make the first part quick....she was one of those "I'll call you tomomrrow to set up a date" but never calls you back or plays phone tag kind of women...end of story there. Okay, fast fwd...I saw this woman with a gathering of my friends ( i know friends through her friend, and know them through me) I saw her tlakign with another friend of mine....and she said Hi and everything, I was chatting with her and her friend in the group. The last excuse she gave me for " not returning my e mail or call" was that her daughter was sick (her daughter is a f ull grown college student with a tummy ache and she was just 'worried' bout her) Anyhow....I get her by herself, and start chatting, and I asked how her daughter was doing/feeling. This was a couple of weeks ago...and she says, "Oh, the last we talked was when I told you about my daughter." So she remembers that we haven't talked in a while...why...because she's yet to return my calls or emails. She never even apologizes for not returning my call....did she forget or was she just rude?
Alma Mobley Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 To be honest, I think she probably is just not very interested in you... if she were, she would show more interest than she has. Sorry.
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 To be honest, I think she probably is just not very interested in you... if she were, she would show more interest than she has. Sorry. Doesn't really answer my question.
megapositive Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Forgetful or rude? Probably not forgetful since, as you said, she remembered your last conversation. Rude? No, I'd say tactless. She doesn't sound interested and instead of dragging it on she should have simply told you when you first suggested going out "oh I'm sorry no, but I'm flattered you asked," something like that. And then she never should've called or emailed you again, because that's sending mixed signals. But forgive her, she might be one of those that have a hard time saying no, so she's passive about it. If that's true, she feels bad about it, just like you're put off by it.
BlueHarvest Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 To put it blunty....the above poster was trying to be nice...I guess I'll try to be too but I apologize if it isn't. She was being rude, she isn't interested. Get HER number, sure, giving her your number might be all non-imposing...but it puts the ball in her court, and that makes women nervous. And half the time they don't call back. If you get HER number, wait a day or two or even three, then call back and chat/make plans you can find out right there if she is interested. 99% of the time women who are interested in a guy, even if they are busy will try to reschedule or make another date at another time. If she isn't interested she'll come up with an excuse. Since this was the first time I'd give her one more shot. If she comes up with another excuse she is nothing more then a friend. At that point I wouldn't waste anymore energy on her. Chat with her, talk to her as a friend but don't treat her like a potential girlfriend. If she becomes interested in you over time she'll let you know.
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 See, the thing is...w'ere kind of "amongst" friends...so I don't want to burn bridges since everyone kind of "knows" each other. We already went out one time...and she was definately wanting to get together again...even made plans to do so...but they never came to fruition.
megapositive Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I get it, that you're amongst friends and don't want to burn bridges. Who knows why she's acting this way. Could be she really has a hard time saying no and acted interested in going out but realized later she didn't want to. Could be she's into playing games. Could be she doesn't want to date anybody. Could be anything... If I were you I wouldn't email or call her anymore. She might wonder why and eventually do it herself sometime. She'll see you when you're all with that group of friends, you'll be friendly, funny, charming etc. and she'll either be relieved you aren't pursuing her anymore because she's not interested, or she'll start thinking about what she's missing. Either way, you are moving forward and not putting yourself in the position of being blown off anymore. Have you called or emailed her since you saw her a couple of weeks ago?
Star Gazer Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 The people in your MeetUps groups aren't your FRIENDS yet, Hiitsme. They're little more than acquaintances. Stop preying upon the women in those groups - who I'll remind you do NOT want to be hit on!!!! - and you won't have to worry about burning bridges there.
D-Lish Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 See, the thing is...w'ere kind of "amongst" friends...so I don't want to burn bridges since everyone kind of "knows" each other. We already went out one time...and she was definately wanting to get together again...even made plans to do so...but they never came to fruition. Sometimes people get flakey, sometimes people say things just to be polite. It's hard to say. She may be unsure or only interested in a friendship. Words rarely mean anything, observe the actions. She didn't forget to call you back- because no one forgets to keep in touch with someone they are truly interested in. I don't think she's being intentionally rude. Most likely a touch unsure. I'd give it one more try and see how she responds.
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 The people in your MeetUps groups aren't your FRIENDS yet, Hiitsme. They're little more than acquaintances. Stop preying upon the women in those groups - who I'll remind you do NOT want to be hit on!!!! - and you won't have to worry about burning bridges there. "Preying" on women...sheesh, get a clue, hon. If they are single....why not? Yeah, "Preying" that's too funny, like they're VICTIM here......:rolleyes:
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 I get it, that you're amongst friends and don't want to burn bridges. Who knows why she's acting this way. Could be she really has a hard time saying no and acted interested in going out but realized later she didn't want to. Could be she's into playing games. Could be she doesn't want to date anybody. Could be anything... If I were you I wouldn't email or call her anymore. She might wonder why and eventually do it herself sometime. She'll see you when you're all with that group of friends, you'll be friendly, funny, charming etc. and she'll either be relieved you aren't pursuing her anymore because she's not interested, or she'll start thinking about what she's missing. Either way, you are moving forward and not putting yourself in the position of being blown off anymore. Have you called or emailed her since you saw her a couple of weeks ago? Nope, not at all.
Jilly Bean Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 The people in your MeetUps groups aren't your FRIENDS yet, Hiitsme. They're little more than acquaintances. Stop preying upon the women in those groups - who I'll remind you do NOT want to be hit on!!!! - and you won't have to worry about burning bridges there. HA ha ha!!! :lmao: Hiitsme, she wasn't interested in you. Like Star said, these women join social groups NOT be be hit on. Regardless, she clearly was not, and is not, interested. Leave her alone, and stop plotting.
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 HA ha ha!!! :lmao: Hiitsme, she wasn't interested in you. Like Star said, these women join social groups NOT be be hit on. Regardless, she clearly was not, and is not, interested. Leave her alone, and stop plotting. Um....so how come she went out with me already? LOL! ANd yes, they are there to be hit on....that is if they're unattached. Believe you me, that's why they are there. They are there for the same reason other single men are. Regardless of what anyone SAYS.
Jilly Bean Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Um....so how come she went out with me already? LOL! ANd yes, they are there to be hit on....that is if they're unattached. Believe you me, that's why they are there. They are there for the same reason other single men are. Regardless of what anyone SAYS. So she went out with you once, and realized she wasn't interested. Thats why she keeps blowing you off. And maybe some do want to be hit on, but she doesnt by you. Leave her alone, otherwise the harassment will make things very uncomfortable in the social group.
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 So she went out with you once, and realized she wasn't interested. Thats why she keeps blowing you off. And maybe some do want to be hit on, but she doesnt by you. Leave her alone, otherwise the harassment will make things very uncomfortable in the social group. Whatever dude...<shrug> That's her problem not mines. I'm not going to not talk to her just because we're in the same room together.
paddington bear Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 As you've mutual friends sounds to me like she was just playing it cool, not making a big deal out of anything because she didn't want things to be awkward, being polite. If you didn't know the same people you would never have seen or heard from her again, that's what I think. No point ignoring her next time you see her in company, just be polite back and then go talk to someone else, otherwise it will look like you really cared that she never returned your calls and you don't want her to think that do you??!!!
Recommended Posts