"Do you rent or own"?

[Bells]

I had this question asked twice of me from a woman I went out with.

 

First time she asked, I answered...but it was one of those wether or not she forgot that she asked me situations.

 

She asked me again a few days later. "Do you rent or own?" And I hesitate and go, "Rent"

 

And she goes, "OH yeah..that's right, I already asked you that."

 

But, I was just curious if some women (like her) was checking the stats on wether a man is worthy to date if he "rents' or owns"

 

I guess if you OWN a home, it means you got something goin for you..but if you rent, you're a bum? LOL I dunno.

 

They can gauge your financial situation by wether you RENT or OWN?

 

SHe owns her own home, of course, she's divorce, and her husband let her have it (shrug) but pays a mortgage.

 

Of course, personally, I don't see the point of owning a home if you're single...I mean , that's YOUR choice if you want to own a home while you're single. I think owning a home is more reserved for if you're married and have a family or something. Why waste all that space?

 

But, anyhow, I was wondreing, since she asked me twice....if she was gauging my financial status?

[Island Girl]

But, anyhow, I was wondreing, since she asked me twice....if she was gauging my financial status?

 

Absolutely.

 

There could be a couple of reasons - but whether it is because she is materialistic or has a strong desire for security (including protecting her own), etc. it was pretty blatant.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I live in a very transient area so this question could also be about gauging whether or not the guy is planning on staying for a while. In fact, that is something I would want to know for that very reason. It could be taken in a different way, of course. She might want to know if you are financially stable. That's not to mean a person can't be financially stable as a renter, but some people may not think so. I would look to see if she asks other money related questions.

[BUENG1]

I had this question asked twice of me from a woman I went out with.

 

First time she asked, I answered...but it was one of those wether or not she forgot that she asked me situations.

 

She asked me again a few days later. "Do you rent or own?" And I hesitate and go, "Rent"

 

And she goes, "OH yeah..that's right, I already asked you that."

 

But, I was just curious if some women (like her) was checking the stats on wether a man is worthy to date if he "rents' or owns"

 

I guess if you OWN a home, it means you got something goin for you..but if you rent, you're a bum? LOL I dunno.

 

They can gauge your financial situation by wether you RENT or OWN?

 

SHe owns her own home, of course, she's divorce, and her husband let her have it (shrug) but pays a mortgage.

 

Of course, personally, I don't see the point of owning a home if you're single...I mean , that's YOUR choice if you want to own a home while you're single. I think owning a home is more reserved for if you're married and have a family or something. Why waste all that space?

 

But, anyhow, I was wondreing, since she asked me twice....if she was gauging my financial status?

 

I think the poster above makes a good point, people who rent are more likely to move around and rent for that reason they might get relocated etc. So you dont want to get into a serious relationship with someone who is going to relocate in 4 or 5 months. But in general I agree generally she was trying to gauge your financial status.

[Art_Critic]

I think asking the question of whether you rent or own has more to do with seeing where you are in life and if you are settling down and setting roots than it does about money..

 

A guy could rent and save his money so it isn't about money..

but if a guy rents and has 3 roommates then it tells her he is still not ready to settle down...

 

A guy with a home.. furnished instead of living like a bachelor says " a catch ".. he is stable and set his roots...

[Island Girl]

C'mon guys - if you want to know about "relocation" you ask those kinds of questions. Job related - how long living in the area, what brought you here, etc. -

 

Whether you own a home or not does not indicate whether or not you would relocate. People put homes on the market and move all the time. Or they rent them out.

 

Owning a home would normally be an indication of financial security but these days ... not so much

[Art_Critic]

I know in the Atlanta area where I am at renting is more expensive than owning.. other than you don't have to have a down payment to rent..

 

I do think it is about setting roots and seeing where the guy is in his life as far as settling down...

[Bells]

I think asking the question of whether you rent or own has more to do with seeing where you are in life and if you are settling down and setting roots than it does about money..

 

A guy could rent and save his money so it isn't about money..

but if a guy rents and has 3 roommates then it tells her he is still not ready to settle down...

 

A guy with a home.. furnished instead of living like a bachelor says " a catch ".. he is stable and set his roots...

 

Well, the 2nd she asked, I asked "Why?" and she said, "No reason, I was just curious" as if she were making conversation.

 

But, I have no roomates actually.

 

But she's a "Divorcee" so she got the house. lol

 

Her husband had to relocate because he was in the military, but SHE wanted to stay behind,....she loved that particular city...and he went a few states away...apparently she couldn't do the LDR thing...and they got divorced.

 

Mortage Rent....kinda the same thing, you're still making monthly payments...plus you don' thave to worry about things like plumbing and stuff....that's what the landlords or home owners assocs are for. lol

 

I was wondering if she was gauging my "Wealth" as well.

 

"more wealthy SINGLE people own homes"

 

"not so wealthy rent homes and /or apartments"?

[Bells]

Also...I think it's better..if you're single to rent, because it's advantangous if you get together...one can just "leave" the apt or rental home for the other person.

 

If BOTH single people are home owners...that can be a bit of a task. lol Whose going to move in with whom, right?

 

 

Someone is going ot have to sell their home. Where as RENTERS, they don't have htat to worry about.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

It sounds like income/wealth is something you're a bit insecure with, so the rent/buy question naturally makes you wonder if she is indirectly asking you money questions. It sounds like she is trying to figure out if you will be staying in the area, though. Obviously she wants to stay, since she didn't even leave when her husband moved! That's a red flag, for sure. What kind of marriage is it when one person would rather stay in a certain city than be with her husband?

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Also...I think it's better..if you're single to rent, because it's advantangous if you get together...one can just "leave" the apt or rental home for the other person.

 

If BOTH single people are home owners...that can be a bit of a task. lol Whose going to move in with whom, right?

 

 

Someone is going ot have to sell their home. Where as RENTERS, they don't have htat to worry about.

 

There are advantages and disadvantages to both.

[Bells]

There are advantages and disadvantages to both.

 

Yeah, I rather agree there....kind of balances out.

[Bells]

It sounds like income/wealth is something you're a bit insecure with, so the rent/buy question naturally makes you wonder if she is indirectly asking you money questions. It sounds like she is trying to figure out if you will be staying in the area, though. Obviously she wants to stay, since she didn't even leave when her husband moved! That's a red flag, for sure. What kind of marriage is it when one person would rather stay in a certain city than be with her husband?

 

True...of course she made that decision 15 years ago...not sure if she'd do it again though.

[Lizzie60]

I think she was checking you for 'wealth'.. that's my bet..

 

I sometimes ask this question.. followed by : do you live alone?

[Alma Mobley]

Weird. But I live in a city that is 90% renters, so I don't concern myself with such things -- I just assume most people I meet rent.

[Bells]

Weird. But I live in a city that is 90% renters, so I don't concern myself with such things -- I just assume most people I meet rent.

 

Heck, I assume SINGLE people rent. lol.

[Capricciosa]

I think she wanted to know your level of commitment, maturity and stability. I don't know how old you are, but I went out with someone 40 the other night who rents & has a roommate. This, I admit, was a bit of a turn-off. Not the renting part necessarily, but definitely the roommate. Whereas I do own, and it's a big responsibility, but it is also an investment. I rented forever before that, so I am not judging, but owning does put me in a different category, and guys react differently to me now--mostly the want to move in, as if the homestead has already been set up for them.

[Bells]

I think she wanted to know your level of commitment, maturity and stability. I don't know how old you are, but I went out with someone 40 the other night who rents & has a roommate. This, I admit, was a bit of a turn-off. Not the renting part necessarily, but definitely the roommate. Whereas I do own, and it's a big responsibility, but it is also an investment. I rented forever before that, so I am not judging, but owning does put me in a different category, and guys react differently to me now--mostly the want to move in, as if the homestead has already been set up for them.

 

She owns the home....what's funny is, she has a ROOMATE (she's 45..he's about her age and recently divorced...yes a male roomate <shrug>)

 

She even asked me "How come you don't have a roomate?" And I said I preferred not to have one...and said she likes having a roomate, makes for great company.

 

She own's the home, but rents out a room.

 

 

But she's a divorcee'...so naturally she got the house. lol She used to be a stay at home mome...no income when she divorced.

 

Her yard does look like it needs tending too....talk about a jungle. lol

[Enema]

Well generally, we're conditioned to believe that a person who "owns" their own home has qualified for a home loan and has sufficient reliable income to pay it off.

 

So yeah, I'd say she was doing as she was taught to suss you out.

 

Considering how easy it has been in the last few years to get a home loan, I don't really agree that it's a great way to judge a persons' financial stability though.

 

I guess the question is, can you really blame her for trying to work out if you have your finances together? Sounds like a sensible thing to do.

[Alma Mobley]

Hmm, hard for me to say here. I think it depends on where you live. Where I live, renting with a roommate is the norm, unless you are pulling down more than 300k a year -- then you might be renting a whole apartment (with at least 2 bedrooms) to yourself, but still don't own anything.

[carhill]

Yeah, a few women asked me that when I was single, many years ago. I told them I was racing so much I just lived in my camper.

 

At the time, in my late 20's, I owned a house, a shop and an investment property (my first home, which I kept). Ended up being too much "roots" for all of those women I met, IMO mainly due to the "it's not ours" factor, in that women in those days wanted a house they could call "ours" and I wasn't going anywhere, since my business was there. My wife never has felt my house was "ours", even though none of my former influence remains. It must be a female thing. Perhaps I'll be back to living in the camper soon. On the positive side, I'm helping her buy her first "home" in her nearly 50 years. Seriously, I think women should own real estate, and I've been trying to get her to buy some for years, if nothing else, for investment and rental income. I love it when things work out

 

I don't think people who rent are "bums", though I've been through a lot of blown-up rental properties in the last few months and do wonder about some people's vision of how they should live. People who rent finance my retirement

[Lizzie60]

this is a tricky question... and it depends on the age of the person I would think.. and even then..

 

I say if the guy is in his 20s.. I doubt he would own.. and that's ok... if the guy is in his 40s and lives with 3-4 roomates.. it would be a turn-off.. not just because of the money.. but the 'lifestyle'...

 

I owned a house and just sold it.. I don't think a house is always a good investment... in my case, i can put a lot more money in the bank each month because I rent..

 

I invested the money I made on the sale.. I still owned a house that I rent.. so I can still say that I own but I rent..

[Bells]

this is a tricky question... and it depends on the age of the person I would think.. and even then..

 

I say if the guy is in his 20s.. I doubt he would own.. and that's ok... if the guy is in his 40s and lives with 3-4 roomates.. it would be a turn-off.. not just because of the money.. but the 'lifestyle'...

 

I owned a house and just sold it.. I don't think a house is always a good investment... in my case, i can put a lot more money in the bank each month because I rent..

 

I invested the money I made on the sale.. I still owned a house that I rent.. so I can still say that I own but I rent..

 

What if he rents...and has NO roomates? What then? WOuld that make him sound more appealing?

 

I chose not to be a homeowner because, why waste all that space, I would get a home if I got married though.

 

So yeah, I'd say she was doing as she was taught to suss you out.

WTF is "SUSS"? LOL

[Lizzie60]

What if he rents...and has NO roomates? What then? WOuld that make him sound more appealing?

 

I chose not to be a homeowner because, why waste all that space, I would get a home if I got married though.

 

If he rents and has no roomate that would be fine..

 

each situation is different.. I chose not to buy another house cause I think it's a waste of money.. and since I live alone.. it's a lot of work... (maintenance).. I rather live in a nice apartment, no maintenance, no problems.. and stack my cash..

 

It's also more convenient when you travel.. no need to ask for someone to check the house (for the insurance)..

 

If the guy has a great job (paying job) and lives alone in a nice apartment, I see nothing wrong with that..

 

I guess it's different if the guy lives with roomate cause he can,t afford a place on his own..

[norajane]

I ask that question all the time. But I ask that of most people I meet, not just dates.

 

It's an interesting topic of conversation for me, as I just bought a new place (my third home purchase) and I'm always curious to discuss real estate, the pros and cons of various locations and styles of housing, yadda yadda.

 

Also, the discussion can tell me a little about the person, as well. Modern or traditional style preference? Handyman or call-someone-to-fix-it kind of person? Is he a quiet, residential area or must be near the nightlife kind of person? Although all of that is not exclusive to home owners; where you choose to rent and what kind of place can also provide insights.

 

So, for me, I ask because the question leads to a conversation I find interesting.

 

In her case, she didn't seem to want to really discuss it, so I'd guess she was interested in knowing about how "settled down" you were at this point. Yes, you can always sell, but most single people buy when they want to settle where they are and figure buying is a better investment for them than renting.