americanlady Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 i was with my long distance bf for about 6 years or so both late 20s.. i had applied for the live in caregiver program in canada to help me obtain residency in the country. But we broke up.. We had a arguement and he says I did some things out of judgement that burned him so he left. I have apologized but he just says now "I am not looking for anyone right now" that is the statement he tells me now, I dont really know whats going on under all that for im not in his country all I can base it on is what he tells me. I have had to learn to let it go although i do still want it to work out but I see no advancements on his end so I have just moved on the best I can.. he talks to me sometimes on a friendly note via yahoo or what not and i just let him lead the convo but he sometimes just ignores me. I recently have gotten accepted in the live in caregiver program in Canada you do it for a year or two years and then u can apply for perm residency. or go back home. I am not sure now originally I would be doing this for the relationship but now that is gone, but I also wouldnt mind the cultural experience and it would be a way for me to try something new in life and it will be a way for me to get out and save up some money and i guess just take a chance in life start a new . But of course in the back of my mind I want to stop by and see him. Its like you hope that me being there will make something spark since closer, but on another note Im trying to do something for my life different. I am not sure what to do I dont want it to be some sort of I am chaseing him either..it has been about 7mths long time now.. since the breakup but I do still wish it to work out although I am fine for his decision and his happiness in his judgements he is honest and smart and hes doing whatever he feels he wants and im ok with it. advice.
Eilonwy Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Hey Americanlady, Sorry to hear he broke up. If you truly think this program is a good chance for you regardless, then you should do it. My boyfriend is from Canada, too, and if he broke up with me, I'd still be interested in moving there eventually. However... you mention that trying to win him back is in your mind. That is of course understandable, but do you think you will enjoy it there even if it becomes clear that he won't ever want you back? If you would be okay with that and think it would still be a great opportunity, then do it! And don't let the feeling of chasing him stop you!
Island Girl Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 If you do want to do as a move to see new things and change up your life then I think it is wonderful. But it sounds like you are the one offering the attempts at communication and you said he ignores you a lot. So quit trying to chat with him. And if he reaches out keep it very simple and don't tell him about going. If he is ignoring you because he knows you'd like another chance it may seem to him like you could be moving into stalker mode. If you run into him at some point in the future be charming and ask a lot of questions about how he is - how's work - etc. And flash him great smiles the entire time but keep it short. You have to be the one to say "I have to get going but it was SO nice seeing you!" In the meantime, live your life the way it is now. You are available to meet someone else who could possible make a huge difference in your life. Perhaps he will be in Canada - but not the guy you know now - and this is the way you were to meet. It happens when you least expect it.
Author americanlady Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 yeah i decided on going, i really like canada and i want to try something new in my life while im still able too. Nothing really here holding me back nothing really to much even going on!!! I like the medical system there more and when i was there last time i really like the festivals and community, also enjoy the easy access to walk places and how I was treated.. Im sure Ill run into him out there because I am going to the town he lives in but its because thats the town I KNOW and like. I have been matched with an elder woman in the area so for 2 years ill do the program.. what i go to lose.. and from there i can apply for perm residency and have more options in job choices. Ill prob do it 2 years isnt that bad to try something new in life... and yeah maybe this was just meant to be, maybe the Lord wanted me to go through this relationship to move me to Canada.. who knows.. but i feel like that could DEF be my new HOME!!!! bus systems... wow im in the south we dont have this stuff.. im excited.. and the pull is there so im going and no man can stop me. Thansk for the advice he already found out though cause my dads big mouth lol.. but he just said alright i know she will like it here.. althoug the winters are tough she just needs a good jacket.. other than that he didnt say much.. oh well its not about him its about me.. well see what hte future holds.. I will update u guys once i get out there..and I am going to just ignore him unless he msgs me... now that he knows im going to canada hes prob got some different thoughts about us.. that slashes out distance lol... but hell be lucky if i talk to him cause its not about convenient love its about everlasting love... and he proved he couldnt do that..or well work out the little petty issue we had. The caregiver program is 40 hour work week with 2 days off I have a 80 year old with a heart condition.. you pay about 325 a month out of the 1500 you receive.. comes with room meals and medical. so your not making a killing here but..I can pocket the money for either coming home and starting a new or starting there... it sure beats what all im paying here ill tell u that much and the fact i need a new car here cause mine doesnt work.. FORTUNE!! let alone insurance for medical. So this is the basics cooking cleaning personal care etc.. My dream job though is being able to work at a non profit organization, but I need to ask if that is something I can do after this... or not. My permit is ready in january.
81West Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I think it's a great idea and a great chance to be exposed to new stuff. Make sure you try to build a network of friends when you get there, or even beforehand online, so your adventure isn't spoiled by lonliness or homesickness. What province are you going to, and if you're comfortable with telling - what is the closest major city? I can give you a winter estimator that way...lol.
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