courting17 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I did it. I finally said that we need to stop seeing each other. It has been eight days and has been hard!! He says that he is going to work on his marriage through counseling. Well, I just said that we both know that I need to get out of the picture. I also said that I need/deserve more! I have moments of having strength and courage but on the other hand I feel such a loss. Friends have said that he is going to miss me more now that the A is over and he has to face his loveless marriage. I know it is not healthy to think this way but I have to admit that at times I hope this will make him decide. He has said to a friend that he is going to work on this through the holidays and that he feels lifeless. I know that I can not cling to any hope. I need to move forward. The A only lasted three months but I could see how we were quickly becoming more emotionally attached. I just want some words of encouragement. He has emailed a few times and I did respond but that was it.
smile711 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 You made a tough but wonderful decision. I understand totally how you feel. Hang in there and take it one day at a time! Surround yourself with friends and family and keep busy!
crystal_lostheart Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Well Done and Keep Busy - you have done the right thing....
norajane Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 3 months? Good on you for ending things now, before you were thoroughly sucked into a situation that becomes harder and harder every day that it goes on. 3 months? Don't speak to him for 3 months and he'll have become a distant memory to you. Let it go. Divorces don't just happen, and they don't happen just like that. Don't tie your future to someone else's marital problems and outcomes. Don't let other people (him and his wife) control your future. Hope does you no good in this situation, unless you hold onto the hope that you will soon meet a single man who is free to love you wholly.
Author courting17 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 3 months? Good on you for ending things now, before you were thoroughly sucked into a situation that becomes harder and harder every day that it goes on. 3 months? Don't speak to him for 3 months and he'll have become a distant memory to you. Let it go. Divorces don't just happen, and they don't happen just like that. Don't tie your future to someone else's marital problems and outcomes. Don't let other people (him and his wife) control your future. Hope does you no good in this situation, unless you hold onto the hope that you will soon meet a single man who is free to love you wholly. Thanks, although it has only been 3 months I don't know if I would have had the strength to let it go if we continued. You are right, I need to focus on some hope of an available man in my future. I hate thinking about the fact that I will probably never be with him again. I know I am doing the right thing though. This sucks.
Author courting17 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 What is my problem? It's been two weeks of not seeing him. I have received a few emails but my last was on Saturday. I like knowing he is still thinking about me. It's driving me crazy that I have no idea what he's thinking - since Saturday. Feeling insecure and worried that he will forget about me. That sounds soo weak but that is how I feel tonight. Just having a moment, tell me not to contact him. I want to, but know it would be a terrible idea. Feeling alone...
Owl Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 If you've gone NC with him...block his emails, his phone calls, etc... That way you don't find yourself drawn back into the insanity.
LostGirl811 Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I did it. I finally said that we need to stop seeing each other. It has been eight days and has been hard!! He says that he is going to work on his marriage through counseling. Well, I just said that we both know that I need to get out of the picture. I also said that I need/deserve more! I have moments of having strength and courage but on the other hand I feel such a loss. Friends have said that he is going to miss me more now that the A is over and he has to face his loveless marriage. I know it is not healthy to think this way but I have to admit that at times I hope this will make him decide. He has said to a friend that he is going to work on this through the holidays and that he feels lifeless. I know that I can not cling to any hope. I need to move forward. The A only lasted three months but I could see how we were quickly becoming more emotionally attached. I just want some words of encouragement. He has emailed a few times and I did respond but that was it. If youve managed to keep seperate now, then keep NC completely. that means NO emails, NO text messages, NO phone calls, NO platonic and friendly lunches just to say hi, NADA. Or else, three months will turn into three bloody years before you know it. I've been having an A for approx 3 of the last 4 years. We fooled around and have an emotional A with some physical stuff for the first two years. We only slept together once. We went NC for over a year, and in a moment of weakness I called him to say hi. We've been sleeping together every week for the past nine months. He's got three small kids, he isn't getting a D anytime soon, if ever. I wish I could just stop talking to him,....but I can't. Not right now, anyway. It's harder to let go the longer you let it go on, so please, just tell him not to contact you anymore if you value your emotional sanity at all! When two people admit that they are attracted to each other, and they continue to keep contact, it is only a matter of time before they end up together again. It is inevitable, I assure you. Not, oh, it's a good chance you'll keep the A going. It is INEVITABLE. You will continue the A if you keep talking to him. it'll start as "just emails" and eventually he'll find a way to see you in person again and you wont be able to resist. Let him go now and save yourself the absolute torture I am putting myself through every day. You'll thank yourself when you find a nice single guy who loves you and doesn't go home to his bloody wife every time you see him. Cause yeah, that's just a FABULOUS feeling to have a man you are in love with come over, make love to you, and then go home to his freaking wife. *sigh*
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