Travis300 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I said I was gonna go NC with her...didn't happen. I just talked to her like 20 minutes ago.. ...but I think I can deal with it now. I actually met a really nice girl the other night, and she's called me at about midnight 2 nights in a row (she works late)..and we've talked for about 2-3 hours each time...so I have someone to keep my mind off her. I just can't take not talking to her...it just doesn't work for me..so I'm just gonna keep it at a distance and not get into the talks we've had before that draws me in...hopefully.
Konfuzion Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Sounds like shes got you right where she wants you, good luck with that. Have fun with the new lady
superd Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 sounds like you are in an all around mess, good luck!!!
lofi_tokyo Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Heya Travis! I know how you're feeling... sort of? My ex KEEPS contacting me, which I do and don't mind. Its nice hearing from him, we were best friends before anything else, and I keep seeing/hearing news that I'd love to share with him, and from what I can tell, he feels the same way. I never start contact with him, he does, but its nice to just say the fun things that have come up lately and are worth sharing. That being said, its a double edged sword. He is seeing someone new, not necessarily dating, but definitely feeling things out. For instance, if we always joked about say... a certain car, and I replied to whatever news he had about it by "no way, where did you see that?", even if he doesn't want to bring her up, that tension is there, he was with her when he saw it. Right now, it doesn't bother me... I can talk candidly, but I flip flop back and forth, sometimes it bothers the hell out of me and I start to feel ****ty. Anyways, as much as I really love our friendship, and the stupid things we share, even if I have other guys I could crush on... I still need my space from him, because talking to him makes me face things I'm am not 100% ready to, or mature enough to deal with right now. Hopefully, when you talk to your girlfriend, it isn't hurting you. If it is, then you already know the popular advice of this website - NC!! However, if you are at a point, where you can talk to her as a friend, nothing more, and accept she wont give you the attention you used to get when you were together, because you're only a friend... then congrats! I hope someday I can be casual friends with my ex, chit chat maybe once every few weeks... if you have that... thats wonderful (in my opinion). People may discourage you, or say you're in a mess, but if you've moved on and just miss her conversation, but not her commitment or attachment to you... then a casual friendship, I believe, can work!
Author Travis300 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Posted September 22, 2008 Actually...it doesn't hurt me when I talk to her, it's when I don't talk to her is when I get all upset. But yeah, I'm in the same boat as you...me and her were seriously best friends before we dated...Our friends both would be like "so, when are you guys getting married" before anything happened...so yeah, it's hard to really forget about someone like that because of what we had before we dated...She keeps contacting me because I know she doesn't want to completely shut it off. We both tried it early on...after we broke up, we still talked all the time for a month until I made a huge mistake with someone else..then it was shaky for a few months (where we didn't talk much at all)...then just out of nowhere we started talking again, sometimes on and off..and we had our share of arguments...but it's been good lately.. I talked to her last night..and it was OK. Just pretty neutral stuff, nothing serious..just joked around like always. I don't think she's seeing anyone now. I just met this girl on thursday night and have been talking to her on the phone for hours at night..so it keeps my mind off my ex, and on the new girl. I think that's why I've had so much trouble...since we split, I never met anyone I really liked enough to force me to stop thinking about her, while she dated 3 guys, none of which lasted more than a month...don't get me wrong though, the feelings are still there 100% for my ex. And also, I don't think she's at a point where she thinks she can be friends with me like we were before...we just had that talk no more than 4 days ago, so I doubt anything has changed...she's just not ready to really be around me yet. Also...Kind of a problem with this girl...is that she's in school (she's 21), but is only staying here for about 1 semester of college...then she goes back to southern Virginia...so I'm not sure I want to get TOO attached because I know she won't be around for too long..
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