AndyEnfield Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Well to start off, im 18 and live in London. I first saw this girl at my older cousins 22nd party at around Easter time, she was a guest of my younger cousin, both who are girls. I asked about her a few days after, and found out she had just came out of a long term relationship and she was one of my younger cousins best friend. I saw her on Facebook a few days after the party and added her. We exchanged a few messages and seemed to get along well. We exchanged messages every few weeks for a while, with her evening saying when she see's me she will hug me and buy me dinner because I helped her out with something and also mentions of shows at the theatre etc. Over the summer we had more of a real life relationship, which saw me go shopping with her and my younger cousin (both are 17), and both of them also came around my house just to chill. She gave me all the signs she was very interested in me, strong eye contact, flirting and always asking me questions and getting me involved in conversations. Well why didn't I make a move? Ask her out etc...I guess there was always the thought of rejection and even worst because she is so close to my cousins etc..I am on a football (soccer) scholarship in London, where I play for a pro club and study full time and during the summers intense training I was extrememly tired and had a lot on my mind about my future, as there were a lot of goings on at my club, where at one stage it looked like we were all going to be released but after a few meetings it was sorted out. She had been off all summer whilst I had training everyday so I was busy with that. Then since the beginning of September we also had to start out college studies again which meant five days a week I was at college training and studying 9-5 every day, as well as working at the weekends, but I was still very interested in her, and was planning on asking her our when I actually had the time. She also started college. When she was at my house my cousin was looking through her phone and she saw a male name in her phonebook and said who's that and the girl said "Just SOME sixth former at my old school", after a few weeks of no contact from me due to my commitments I saw her facebook/myspace status change to in a relationship with the person that was mentioned above that she described as "Some sixth former". I don't know what to do now. Im not exactly heartbroken but very disappointed as she was a really attractive girl with a great personality, and to be honest once you actually find someone like that you don't need anyone else as thats why most people spend years looking for. I guess she waited and waited for me and wanted me not him and now she is with someone else, I think f#uck I should have just made a move now what. All thoughts of stupid things are going through my mind, like Are they going to be together for ever now? When are they going to break-up? Should I continue to flirt/contact her, something can still happen etc? Now I feel like an idiot, she wanted me, I wanted her but I thought I could wait a little longer as I was happy how my life was at the time, and now she has found something else,and how I feel I guess that just shows how much I like her. Any advice on what to do? Thank you for reading and your help, My own advice to myself I just to move on and try and see other girls whilst continuing to have a platonic friendship with this girl incase they break up anytime soon, but she is and always will be in my mind.
iamenough Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Advice, since you asked for it... and this is just my take... I'd say, she assumed you weren't into her and moved on. Maybe just chalk this one up to a learning experience. At this point, she has a bf anyway, so unless they have an open relationship, she should be off limits to you, right? I don't recommend flirting with her at this point. I don't recommend a close friendship with her either, unless you can really deal with reality. By that I mean, seriously stop and think about what being her 'friend' actually entails at this point. Space is your friend, take some. That said, there are more single, attractive, girls with awesome personalities out there, it's just a matter of finding one. Good luck to ya.
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