ewatt Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 My wife and I have been married for almost 9 years. We met while we were still discovering who we are, in college. I respected her from the first day I saw her. She is a strong, independent, very intelligent woman. A wonderful wife and mother of 2. Five years ago, I experienced a tramatic loss of my father. Through this loss, I have closed down all emotions and pushed everyone around me away in fear of being hurt again. Through the past five years since my fathers passing, I have developed some deep insecurities about myself and my marriage. My wife and I have had many fights about my insecurities and the way I have been treating her. I have accused her of having an affair, violated her privacy by looking at her email and cell phone. The past fights we had she has always reconciled. She said that she wants me to move out a month ago after another fight. She says that I have broken her and she wants to work issues that I have presented and broken her. Through the past five years she has asked me to seek counseling. I have also said that I would change and figured I could handle my issues on my own. Just recently I have sought counseling a month ago. This has helped me really understand what I have been doing to my wife and my family. I have lost all trust from her. I have no family to confide in or to live with. I am moving out to a hotel next week. This person (my wife) has done nothing but been there for me when I need someone and I have been the most inconsiderate person. I take all blame for what my actions have done. I do not no what I am going to do without her and my kids. I feel lonely and very lost.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Sadly, a lot of people don't realize how they're hurting the relationship until it's over. Five years is a long time for a spouse to wait for the other spouse to get it together. From here on, all you can really do is continue to work on yourself and hope that the love she obviously had for you (five years of hoping!) will rekindle. You're not losing your kids. Are you? You'll still see them, right? I hope you will.
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