Aleeed Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Right, many of you may remember my story. Just over a month ago me and my girlfriend of 20 months broke up. We were more than happy together, and seemed to overcome every problem we ever faced. My main mistake was probably taking her back after she drunkenly kissed another man about 14 months into our relationship, but that is another matter. We broke up due to the fact she said her feelings had changed over the past few weeks, she turned down a break and wanted a total breakup. We went out a few times as mates, she ended up kissing me, telling me she missed me and we discussed the possibility of going out a few times as friends to see how she felt, she agreed with this idea and it never came around. She did have a busy week in general, she was arranging a lot for her birthday party at the end of the week and had family to visit. Her birthday party came around, I attended, dropped her presents off to her and had a good night, we hugged the end and I told her to have fun when visiting her family over the next few days. When she returned from her visit I was shocked to find out that she had arranged to meet another guy, I decided to leave it. I mean we are not together so fair play to her she can meet who she wants. I headed to the local Indian to buy a takeaway that night and caught them holding hands, that split my heart in two. As if it wasn't torn already. The next few days got worse, we argued online and she ended up getting with that boy she was meeting. I attended a post exam results party on the Thursday evening in which I was unaware he would be attending with her, seeing her and him together hurt even more, knowing that just a few weeks prior it was me and her, all in love. I had time that night to decide, that I had to get over her, I simply had to, there was no going back and living on false hope was doing me no good at all, treating me how she had treated me was unfair to the maximum, I decided that I decide someone better. But then I thought, I love this girl, however much I deny or try to hide it. Just four days into their relationship they broke up, horrible for her of course, but I loved it, she deserved it and I thought at the back of my mind "at least she felt a little bit of how I felt" It has been about 2 weeks since then, we have only spoken online scarcely I've tried to keep contact to a minimum but whenever we have spoken it has been arguments. The thing is, I thought I was over her but today, she has been on my mind all day, all the good times, all the love and amazing times we shared, and we're not even friends. That is the minimum I would have expected, I miss her as my other half too, she was the best girlfriend I have ever had, she treated me perfect and I had treated her like gold in my eyes. I'd like to think one day in the future there could be a me and her once again, I just want advice on how to at least be mates with her, because I miss her so much. I'd even take her back, however stupid that would be!
hereforever Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 i believe in second chances. Sometimes we all do stupid things that we obviously regret. i think if you guys decided some day to get back together it could go really well ( thats assuming she was feeling the same way as you and willing to try) and you could be happy, just from the way you talk about her. it was very sweet XD. as for the fights. i think it sounds like shes pissed off because her attempt at a new BF failed and maybe shes taking that out on you? i dunno. maybe just give it time, talk to her sometimes and try especially hard not to argue if its not nesassary.
Travis300 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I'm going through the same thing...One thing I'll tell that I found out is don't act out of desperation, like you NEED her back. That is the worst thing ever...My ex did the same thing, she had a bf..broke up with him after about a month..then started talking to me again...on and off...Only thing is I kept making the stupid decision to tell her how much I care about her and all that...don't do it, it just seemingly pushes them away. Just treat her like any other girl...that's my advice...
EmperorR Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I'm going through the same thing...One thing I'll tell that I found out is don't act out of desperation, like you NEED her back. That is the worst thing ever...My ex did the same thing, she had a bf..broke up with him after about a month..then started talking to me again...on and off...Only thing is I kept making the stupid decision to tell her how much I care about her and all that...don't do it, it just seemingly pushes them away. Just treat her like any other girl...that's my advice... ah the rebound, ya im doing NC, right now i wrote a long letter today saying my goodbye, i guess now it was a bad thing to do ah well sucks it up
Author Aleeed Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 NC is hard but worth it, I think that one day maybe she will wake up and realize what shes lost. I don't know. You guys still think I should try and be friends with her then in time see what happens?
Intergalactic Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 i'd go NC. try and move on, heal yourself and then if things work in the future, that's a bonus. being friends with her right now will do NOTHING for you (trust me, i tried with my ex whom i am still so in love with, and it was just torture - and he wasn't even seeing anyone else!), plus, just because she broke up with this guy, doesn't mean there won't be others (there will, if she could date so soon after breaking up with you) and you will be a sideliner. hightail it out of there, become happy without her, and then slowly bring her back into the fold when (or if!) you feel like it later on down the track. "second chances" are more likely to happen if you give it some time (real time - like a year or so) and there is personal growth on both sides.
Author Aleeed Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 Thanks for the advice, good call. So I'll leave her for a bit, its hell though, but I know I'm better off not speaking to her, because she will just try to argue with me when I speak to her. Its hell sometimes. I still love this girl, if anyone has any more advice on what to do it would help, noone can see why she wont be friends with me, I wish I understood.
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