Bells Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 ...now I know what you're thinking the translation for that is, "She's just doesn't want to date YOU." I made this NEW female friend, very pretty woman actually..... WEll, in this case, it's different. Apparently, there's this woman, recently divorced....that, well, she might as well taken a megaphone and said it so ALL guys in the building could hear her, and said it NUMEROUS times if a guy even dropped a hint when bringing up the subject of dating her. We were out with a group of friends when she said this. So in this case...it's a Blanket statement with her. Funny, she said last week, she was with a bunch of people, and guys just "Flocked" around her like stink on poop. This woman, apparently, does not like attention...well.....not the kind of "Vultures" lurking around. But she said she was comfortable with ME though...apparently she had been overwhelmed buy guys in the bar/restaurant....and me...well, I guess I did SOMETHING right. My point is this....was I friendzoned...since she told me that I was different (not like those other guys) she said I was a "Normal" guy, and not the drooling numnuts that were standing right in her personal space. Friendzoned = "Normal guy who acts himself and does not come off as desperate VS. The Non-Friendzoned - Drooling guys that just can't take the hint that she really needs SOME space and not guys following her around at the venue. You've seen it....a good looking woman with about 3 or 4 guys trying to talk to her at once....it CAN be overwhelming.... Of course there are women that just LOVE the attention, and can't get enouhg...but with her, it was very uncomfortable and I can see her point. With that said....I was wondering if I did SOMETHING right by making her feel comfortable...or well...not UN-comfortable?
JoeNewbie Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Women who say they hate the attention actually love it. For them to say they hate it is just another way to get even more attention. And "not looking to date right now" means they are not interested in you in 99% of situations. How/why did she bring that up anyway?
AriaIncognito Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 If she's not interested in dating right now, no amount of attention or wanting from you is going to make her change her mind. When she meets someone she wants to date, she'll change that tune, but until then, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do for your friend zoned situation other than deal with it and move onto another woman.
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 OP, stop making new friends and date women. If you want a cadre of platonic female friends, the world is your oyster. Women crave non-sexual ego feeding from girlfriends with penises. It's a perfect world order for them Don't analyze this. You're wasting valuable time and energy. Ask someone else out and megaphone "I am looking to date and damn, this one's hawt!"
Author Bells Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Yes, I personally believe that you are right. I will pray to god that you get what you want. God bless you! Not sure I know what you mean. Get what I want? and right about what? Actually, she friendzoned everyone, not just me...hell, even other women said "she's not looking to date" (the girl in questions) So really, it was just an announcement made in general....not to just me...so that's what makes it different I suppose. Who even says it's a "Friendzoned" situations. You guys are such defeatists. The whole point was the statement wasn't directed at ME.
Legend Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 ...now I know what you're thinking the translation for that is, "She's just doesn't want to date YOU." I made this NEW female friend, very pretty woman actually..... WEll, in this case, it's different. Apparently, there's this woman, recently divorced....that, well, she might as well taken a megaphone and said it so ALL guys in the building could hear her, and said it NUMEROUS times if a guy even dropped a hint when bringing up the subject of dating her. We were out with a group of friends when she said this. So in this case...it's a Blanket statement with her. Funny, she said last week, she was with a bunch of people, and guys just "Flocked" around her like stink on poop. This woman, apparently, does not like attention...well.....not the kind of "Vultures" lurking around. But she said she was comfortable with ME though...apparently she had been overwhelmed buy guys in the bar/restaurant....and me...well, I guess I did SOMETHING right. My point is this....was I friendzoned...since she told me that I was different (not like those other guys) she said I was a "Normal" guy, and not the drooling numnuts that were standing right in her personal space. Friendzoned = "Normal guy who acts himself and does not come off as desperate VS. The Non-Friendzoned - Drooling guys that just can't take the hint that she really needs SOME space and not guys following her around at the venue. You've seen it....a good looking woman with about 3 or 4 guys trying to talk to her at once....it CAN be overwhelming.... Of course there are women that just LOVE the attention, and can't get enouhg...but with her, it was very uncomfortable and I can see her point. With that said....I was wondering if I did SOMETHING right by making her feel comfortable...or well...not UN-comfortable? Generally means she's not interested, and you've been friendzoned. You have to redeem yourself by doing something crazy and being completely spontaneous and not yourself, but then then she isn't dating the real you & you're trapped not being you... unless you just wanted to get laid...
megapositive Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 When I've told guys I'm not ready to date I meant it. When I was ready, if the same guys persisted and asked me out and I was a little interested I accepted, but it didn't last long because I was never all that interested. But when I came across a guy I was really interested in, I knew it and accepted his asking for a date right away. Maybe that helps.
Author Bells Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 When I've told guys I'm not ready to date I meant it. When I was ready, if the same guys persisted and asked me out and I was a little interested I accepted, but it didn't last long because I was never all that interested. But when I came across a guy I was really interested in, I knew it and accepted his asking for a date right away. Maybe that helps. Exactly.....men seem to think women are all the same when it comes to the whole "Friendzone" thing...it's weird....there's so many variables. There's actually a girl I know in her late 30's...about a couple of years ago, she got out of a 20 year relationship....she made it clear to any and every guy that even dropped a hint at "getting together sometime" that she's not interested in dating anyone. So it's not uncommon. Esp when you're not up for it. And attention from tons of guys probably would even reinforce the fact.
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 OP, re-read what you wrote in the OP... Do you really think you and this woman are equals? On the same page? In the same universe? I see you preening because she approves of your gentlemanly behavior in contrast to the animals slobbering on her fur, but what does that really mean? Women compliment me all the time (I'm married ) but I take it as such, a compliment. They're not saying "wow, if he was single, I'd jump all over that". Decades of platonic female friendships have taught me this. She's not making a mental note of "getting with me" when she's "ready to date". I'm just a friendly guy who brightened her day. Perhaps, if you leave her with that impression (a friendly guy) and go about your life, getting your needs met with other women, someday, when she's "ready to date", if you're available and there's some mutual interest, you might even date each other
Author Bells Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 OP, re-read what you wrote in the OP... Do you really think you and this woman are equals? On the same page? In the same universe? That's the big mystery, isn't it? I see you preening because she approves of your gentlemanly behavior in contrast to the animals slobbering on her fur, but what does that really mean? I used to BE those guys...so I figured, "Hey, I must be doing something right, maybe I matured a little...maybe I'm not AS girl crazy as I used to be....well, I'm Girl crazy to a certain extent...hadn't gone gay though. lol Women compliment me all the time (I'm married ) but I take it as such, a compliment. They're not saying "wow, if he was single, I'd jump all over that". Decades of platonic female friendships have taught me this. She's not making a mental note of "getting with me" when she's "ready to date". I'm just a friendly guy who brightened her day. Now, just imagine waking up to your spouse who, on a daily basis, brightens her day. ;-) (Hope you know what I mean with that. lol) Perhaps, if you leave her with that impression (a friendly guy) and go about your life, getting your needs met with other women, someday, when she's "ready to date", if you're available and there's some mutual interest, you might even date each other Hey, there's still that chance, right? Though, I haven't getting needs met by other women, because they tell me "They aren't looking to date right now" lol
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Hey, there's still that chance, right? Though, I haven't getting needs met by other women, because they tell me "They aren't looking to date right now" You really need to get married. Everyone wants to date you then :D Seriously, if that's what you're seeing, look in the mirror. Women who come into your life are a reflection of you, your psyche, your aura, your signals. Think about that. Imagine you're married
Author Bells Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 You really need to get married. Everyone wants to date you then :D Seriously, if that's what you're seeing, look in the mirror. Women who come into your life are a reflection of you, your psyche, your aura, your signals. Think about that. Imagine you're married Oh okay, I just need to look in the mirror, then realize I just need to get married, then women will want me. lol
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 My posting was a humorous way of inviting you to change YOUR perspective in order to change how you are experienced by others. Getting married changed my perspective and how I view women and the world and it is evidenced by my experiences since. Like Morpheus said, "free your mind"
Author Bells Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 My posting was a humorous way of inviting you to change YOUR perspective in order to change how you are experienced by others. Getting married changed my perspective and how I view women and the world and it is evidenced by my experiences since. Like Morpheus said, "free your mind" Dang....something just occured to me..... "I'm the kind of guy women marry, not the kind of guy women date". maybe that's it.
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Hence, if you wish to meet a woman to marry, you should attract those kinds of women into your life. If the reverse (wish only to date with no serious LTR), similar. It's all about signals. I sent the wrong kinds of signals out for years. Probably still am, but, hey, I'm working on it
Author Bells Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 Hence, if you wish to meet a woman to marry, you should attract those kinds of women into your life. If the reverse (wish only to date with no serious LTR), similar. It's all about signals. I sent the wrong kinds of signals out for years. Probably still am, but, hey, I'm working on it Eh, just keep doin' what you're doing until you find someone that appreciates you for you.
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