carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Go on the date and don't assume it's going to be miserable or you won't enjoy yourself. Yes, his intrinsic psychological processes can "ensure his eventuality", as in become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as well as send out signals to the woman that he "expects" things to go a pre-determined way. His body language and aura will say things his lips never will. OP, if you truly believe you will be miserable or no "connection" is there and never will be, and can't resolve that thought pattern, then decline based on that and do something novel; share it with her in words that reflect your feelings, not her worth (she's still worthy and lovable). Take responsibility. That sounds too serious, right?
Author shockandawed Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Why so defensive? You were soliciting opinions on what you should do and when you don't like them, then you blast the poster. Look, if it's meant to be with "Julie" and you two are truly compatible, then not going to the winery event tonight isn't going to make or break the relationship. Honoring your plans with "Melinda" won't make or break your relationship with "Julie" either, and it will be demonstrating character. But if you don't care about having character, then do whatever you want. I am not being defensive and I did post this to solicit opinions. All opinions are welcomed with open arms. I didn't "blast" you for your opinions. You made two judgements that were completely false and I merely clarified them. 1) You stated Julie was aggressive when we have had one date in a month. 2) You stated that I had made my mind up to be a prick, when that certainly was not the case whatsover.
Author shockandawed Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Yes, his intrinsic psychological processes can "ensure his eventuality", as in become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as well as send out signals to the woman that he "expects" things to go a pre-determined way. His body language and aura will say things his lips never will. OP, if you truly believe you will be miserable or no "connection" is there and never will be, and can't resolve that thought pattern, then decline based on that and do something novel; share it with her in words that reflect your feelings, not her worth (she's still worthy and lovable). Take responsibility. That sounds too serious, right? LOL...yes a little serious.. I get what you are saying. I have done a little soulsearching this morning and I think I was a little too caught up on the event. If I take the winery jazz thing out of the picture, it's a no brainer. I have had one date with two completely different women. There is no rules of being exclusive yet. I should continue with the original plans while having future plans with Julie. It's a little tricky to not lead anyone on, but, as long as I don't escalate things, that shouldn't be a problem. Shadowplay is right, first dates can be misleading both ways. My three month relalationship this summer started out with a bang and quickly fizzled. Looking back, I know it was too much, too soon. My ex and I was together nearly 20 years and our first date in college was a disaster..lol.
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 The answer is within you. We're just the flashlight
Walk Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 The answer is within you. We're just the flashlight ................... Cute, Yoda.
Author shockandawed Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 The answer is within you. We're just the flashlight Glad you had your batteries..... Anyone got any movie suggestions? The last flick I saw was Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Glad you had your batteries..... Ah, the power of lithium
Author shockandawed Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Thanks everyone..update!! I just had a very nice conversation with Melinda. At her suggestion, we are going to see the local minor league baseball team playoff game tonight. So now I am not missing the jazz thing for a movie. I like jazz, but I may be a bigger baseball fan...lol. I feel good about sticking to the plan. I am sure I will see Julie again soon as well.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Have fun! Gotta love a girl who suggests a baseball game! I say play the field while you can!
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