Intergalactic Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 i'm currently in NC with my ex - we broke up about two months ago, i tried the friend thing, he kept saying he was confused, didn't know how he felt about me anymore but ultimately wasn't ready for full time, committed relationship (we'd been dating 2 years, 10 months of which were LDR). i started NC just under a week ago after deciding to go home (back to parents' house in australia) for a while so i can get the therapy i need, find a psychiatrist i can afford to see and be close to my parents and have their love/support etc. i plan on not speaking to him while i'm back home, and there won't be the opportunity to see him because he'll still be in auckland. however, at this stage i do plan on coming back to auckland, probably within the next 12 months, to finish my degree and because i really like this city and the friends i've made. i need to leave now because i have to get away from the ex and i can't cope on my own, i basically had a bit of a breakdown and my psychiatrist wanted to have me committed. going home and being looked after by my parents was my compromise (i have bipolar disorder, recently diagnosed, medication isn't working well) therefore, i know that this NC won't be forever. he's already expressed interest in knowing me once i feel better, but could no longer cope with looking after me himself. does the fact that i know this NC won't last hinder me? i want to move on from this, but i can't deny i do hope something might blossom after a year or more apart, and we can get to know each other again. i don't hold lots of hope though, and mainly want to make it okay with myself if it doesn't work, as well as if it does.
selena_cat Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Hi Galactic, i love your Racoon pics, i really do.I think in your situation NC is to help you heal,grow,and take care if yourself,then in there you can maybe do LC,rinstead of total NC. What effect are you hoping with NC Your ex,seems open to the idea of not losing contact with you and alking to you when you feel better,am i right? but most important,you need to do what you can to heal, and seek a very good doctor who can help prescribe whever meds that can help you. And if a med is not woring, you must give it time an be consistent abou ttaking thos,enot to say you arent,when i took lexapro it did aturn on me when i didnt take it consistently. I think oing back home with your family and get support is a great idea.
Author Intergalactic Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Hi Galactic, i love your Racoon pics, i really do.I think in your situation NC is to help you heal,grow,and take care if yourself,then in there you can maybe do LC,rinstead of total NC. What effect are you hoping with NC Your ex,seems open to the idea of not losing contact with you and alking to you when you feel better,am i right? but most important,you need to do what you can to heal, and seek a very good doctor who can help prescribe whever meds that can help you. And if a med is not woring, you must give it time an be consistent abou ttaking thos,enot to say you arent,when i took lexapro it did aturn on me when i didnt take it consistently. I think oing back home with your family and get support is a great idea. thanks selena_cat, i wanted the racoon because it makes me smile and the last thing i need is a sad avatar! i agree with the NC until i feel i am healed from this. i planned on giving it six months, then speaking to the ex again and seeing how i feel. if it brings back a lot of pain, i go NC until i stop feeling the pain. my ex has expressly told me that he does NOT want to lose contact with me. it was my choice to go NC, and i only made that choice after 2 months of us trying to go NC but inevitably ending up speaking/hanging out again. i couldn't handle seeing him when i still so badly wanted to be with him, and it was made worse because we were still very intimate - lots of cuddling and touching. he simply was no longer sure about being in a relationship (number of factors, including me turning into some horribly depressed but sometimes manic and constantly angry monster, and him being in 4th year of med school, stressed and not able to commit full time to me when he as to commit to school). he's always been funny about promising anything he wasn't sure he could come through on anyway, and i like that about him. anyway, all of the factors along with me wanting to commit suicide on a daily basis just turned our relationship around - he wanted to be there for me but his feelings for me changed. i'd become so needy and clingy and unhappy, and it wasn't anything like i'd been when i met him. he just simply couldn't handle it. i called him a jerk, selfish etc etc, but i never meant any of it. i can barely handle dealing with myself (hence going home so someone else can look after me). i wish i hadn't turned into what i did but i was (and still am) in the middle of a horrible depressive episode and i just can't control it. i definitely want to at the very least be able to be his friend in the future, he has been a very special person in my life and i in his and i'd like that to continue. i just don't want to let "hope" hinder my healing - i tell myself it won't, and that it isn't, but how do i know i'm not fooling myself?
selena_cat Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 hey InterGalactic, i love your name and the cute racoon,i told a friend of mine,hey theres this gal who has this super cool name,that is very creative,you starting to have have a fan here- maybe you can help me figure a better name than Selena_cat maybe i can be Super-Galactic cat! nyway thanks for replying to my post,usually i would sign off if he hasnt said anything to me,he didnt contact me for months and than he's nto going to evenspeak when i get online? that reeeks,and i stayed a s long as usual instead of signing off,and he signed off dont know when,but its funny you said he didnt delete me, ignore me is more like it About your situation,your bf, i cant really call him your ex can I,you are on just hiatus till you take care of you,and thats more important you may feel as thoughyou were a burden and lots of doubts come in your mind, but i dont see where he has broken up with you unless i have to read your post again,most people here -like me-are upset they dont hear from their ex,my case,EX friend he's an Ex Friend. Maybe you shouldnt go total NC on him,sound like you need friend and his support still,a call once in a while to say hi,and he does the same to you cant be so bad so youe not fooling yourself. let me know what you think
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