jgaz3124 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Although there are some times when second chances do work out, most of the time it really just leads to the same bull**** that happened in the first place. So what I am wondering is how many times have people tried to work on things before they got fed up and threw in the towel for good? I am just wondering because I am becoming fed up and I think I may throw the towel in for good soon.
Tony T Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Although there are some times when second chances do work out, most of the time it really just leads to the same bull**** that happened in the first place. So what I am wondering is how many times have people tried to work on things before they got fed up and threw in the towel for good? I am just wondering because I am becoming fed up and I think I may throw the towel in for good soon. I can tell you from experience that second chances seldom work out. People don't change. As you said, the same bull crap usually still exists as the second try is taking place. It's much easier to move on. That's really the purpose of dating anyway. You can't just take the wrong person and FORCE it to work.
EmperorR Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I know people who had second chances and now there happily married with the person, it may not work for everyone, but not every relationship is the same in the first place.
Intergalactic Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 i think second chances are much more likely to succeed when there has been a lot of time apart and personal growth achieved. and then it is not so much a "second chance" but a reuniting and hitting it off like you did the first time, as two different people.
CaliGuy Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 In the old days, a lot of them. Now, I don't put up with crap. Unless as Intergalactic said, a lot of time has passed and both have grown, what is the point? You still have the same people with the same problems and thus, a second chance wouldn't work.
Adunaphel Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Although there are some times when second chances do work out, most of the time it really just leads to the same bull**** that happened in the first place. So what I am wondering is how many times have people tried to work on things before they got fed up and threw in the towel for good? I am just wondering because I am becoming fed up and I think I may throw the towel in for good soon. You can only give one second chance... then you can give a third, fourth, fifth chance if you wish so. Experience taught me that if you keep giving 'second chances' about the very same issues, you will be taken less and less seriously as time passes. If the issues are different each time, and for every second chance you give your relationship moves forward, it might be worth it. May I ask what is the issue in your relatioship?
Author jgaz3124 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 You can only give one second chance... then you can give a third, fourth, fifth chance if you wish so. Experience taught me that if you keep giving 'second chances' about the very same issues, you will be taken less and less seriously as time passes. If the issues are different each time, and for every second chance you give your relationship moves forward, it might be worth it. May I ask what is the issue in your relatioship? Oh if its not one thing its something else, its really just starting to get old. I don't know we have good days and we have bad days. I guess it just comes down to the old saying thats life.
ahhhchooo Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 In an ancient relationship I had.. we broke up maybe 3 times. By the last time we got back together, my feelings were dimished (even though I was the one who kept getting dumped). I tried to give her another chance, but I was lying to myself, it just didn't work. So, hmm... 1?
Ingenue Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I'm not so sure I believe in second chances anymore. I think all too often, individuals re-couple without having fixed what's wrong in the relationship. The second chance sours and you're on the road to a break up. Unless the individuals have done counseling/ soul searching/ introspection/ assessing the relationship and themselves while also growing emotionally as individuals, a second chance is doomed for failure. As others have said, it's probably better to approach the relationship as something new after a long time apart, rather than attempt to build on something that's problematic to begin with
wareagle Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 HaHa! I gave my ex many a second chance! I have learned my lesson this time! In the future I really doubt I will be given second chances!
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