allieapplesauce Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 So, I have a question about dating and what's normal or if my situation is normal in retrospect to the norm... First, I am really scared to get hurt agian since the last guy turned out to be such an a-hole when he made me think he really liked me but apparently just used me to get over a divorce from a while ago. And then there was the kid who said he wanted to make me dinner then said he forgot. Really, really having hard time trusting in people/guys right now. But I met this guy back in mid july. we were talking for a few weeks before that though. the reason for our finding each other was relationship based in the first place, so i have to say we werent just meeting up as friends necessarily. he seems really nice and he's dong a lot of things that aren't of the norm i'm used to. he doesnt really text. he CALLS. he's made me dinner a few times. he watch a lot of movies. hes in a band and is a music professor. but he likes south park and the office and he seems pretty normal. likes cats. has 2. seems to get along with his parents. seems to like to do things like go to the park. we've done that quite a few times. went hiking. he opens doors, car doors, shuts the car door...asks how my day was, asks what my plans and things like that. last night his friend came to town and they invited me out to the bar to play pool and he came to pick up me. he actually got out of hte car and came into the building and upstairs to knock on my apt door! i was impressed. i had a really good time. is that a good sign he introduced me to his friend? his friend seemed to be pretty cool with me. today we went to the park and threw frisbee, walked around...took our shoes off and walked along the lake for a bit (sorta a swimming area) but the only thing that's happened so far aside from hugs at the end is holding hands and stuff while watching the movies. i could tell when that first started he was working his way to that...so i think he might have been just as nervous as me...but no kiss or anything. 2 months and nothing like that isnt unusual for me as i usually start out this way, but look where it's gotten me too...i dont date much and go out with a whole bunch of people nor have i ever run into someone just asking me out either. after all these screw overs i cant help but feel like im not attractive enough or interesting enough but at the same time i dont think that's the case. i dont know what to do at this point. its easy right now. no commitment really. but he's cute, i like that he likes the peace and quiet and nature but likes south park and the office and movies with steve carrell and will ferrell and stuff like that. should i make a move and just kiss him next time? my friend says he's probably just shy and i should go for it. i guess the signs indicate he's intersted. i know he was engaged like a yr ago or so and she just like ran off..so he's probably hurt and i think he's tried dating other girls but they were all crazy or something. i dont know im like great for me. but i would think if he didnt like me or attracted he'd probably have been gone by now? i just dont know how to do that im so nervous!
DireWolf Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 It seems like he's interested in being more than friends. Holding hands and making you dinner and everything. He could just be shy like you said. He sounds pretty proper in the way he treats you, so maybe he just takes it slow on the romantic side of things. Two months is a long time to go without a first kiss though.
Yamaha Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 If you don't develop some romantic interest in your friendship you will become just friends. If you are attracted to him then you need to let him know you like him in a romantic way. Learn to do flirting and if he's shy you will have to move the relationship forward if you wantg more than friends.
paddington bear Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I think the whole holding hands thing suggests he is interested in more. My best male friend who I was wondering if was more, would never hold my hand or show me any physical affection. And yes after two months one of you needs to do or say something. Maybe at the hug goodbye you could lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek, or at the movies, put your hand on his knee while leaning in to whisper something in his ear. From my experience if you get knocked back from flirting a little it is less embarrassing and emotionally hurtful than if you ask and the guy out and out says no that he's not ready and wants things to stay as they are.
Author allieapplesauce Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 ok well sounds good. it sounds like he is interested too. granted here's my dilemma. these things usually only last 2 months for me and thats where were at. i mean one min they are all about me the very next it's like sorry buh-bye...no warning ever! so i guess i am afraid that if anything happens that's the end of things...i guess i just have to take the risk. well, he was going to a concert and i had hung out with him earlier so i really didn't expect to hear from him but he called on his way back last night. we talked for a few min and then said good night...im just like blown away by the whole talking on the phone thing lol. and a couple text today. i think i'll have him over for dinner tomorrow. i've been wanting stew does that sound like a stupid meal to make? so i think i'll try to initiate SOMETHING> even if i only give him a kiss on the cheek. it'll be good for me to take a risk. why's this so hard? ok so i just think its kinda mind blowing. never have i ever had a guy talk on the phone like this. mostly its jsut texting and all plans are made via text. stupid. and when talking on the phone it's usually them saying "hey you can call me later" like those are also planned. where as this new guy like doesnt do that. he'll just...call...and say hey what's up? and if there is a text or two while im at work about meeting up later he's like sounds good but why dont you call me when you're out of work? Question: how many of you guys actually call on the phone? so it's almost like this guy is too good to be true. should i be scared there's something WRONG with him??????
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