Author xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 xpaper, it's possible to still have a relationship without needing it to go anywhere. As for a one nighter of hot, drunken sex, no, still haven't done it. TBF, I'm not saying I want every date to be an ONS, but I sometimes feel like that's all I'm ever going to get out of it. Weird, I know, but I wasn't asking for it.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 she's such a little lut you spelled slut wrong...
nowhereman82 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Think he was trying to be nice So do you have a the urge to screw them on the first night? And fear of a ONS stops you? Or what? What's wrong with a ONS (for you personally) if the guy has you really turned on and is giving you a good time?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 Think he was trying to be nice So do you have a the urge to screw them on the first night? And fear of a ONS stops you? Or what? What's wrong with a ONS (for you personally) if the guy has you really turned on and is giving you a good time? He's never nice. To answer your question, I have no problems having ONS with a guy that turns me on, but it does get wary. It's like if I stick around for an ONS, then the chances are there's not going to be a relationship. And if we did have the ONS, who's really the one benefiting it? I know the sex is great, but am I putting myself out there for a guy to get laid? Or is the guy putting himself out there for me to take advantage of? I guess that's why sometimes I get foreboding feelings.
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 TBF, I'm not saying I want every date to be an ONS, but I sometimes feel like that's all I'm ever going to get out of it. Weird, I know, but I wasn't asking for it. xpapercutx, what are you fighting? If the two of you enjoyed the experience, what part of it doesn't make sense, especially in a situation where you're not interested in the guy beyond the one night? Are you certain you enjoyed the actual act for itself alone v. what's expected of you? Is this what you dread?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 xpapercutx, what are you fighting? If the two of you enjoyed the experience, what part of it doesn't make sense, especially in a situation where you're not interested in the guy beyond the one night? Are you certain you enjoyed the actual act for itself alone v. what's expected of you? Is this what you dread? I don't know. Maybe its both. I enjoy sex for sex, but I hadn't necessarily wanted to sleep with the guy in the first place. It's like after the deed, I detach myself completely from the guy.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 So make up a rule of thumb: for example, and this is just my rule of thumb: if you know right off the bat you want nothing from him and are not attracted to him, then wish him good night quick! if you sorta have a feeling he's not compatible with you (ie. much younger, didn't really click mentally..) BUT the sexual/physical chemistry is there, then have sex with him if you want! And...if you have an inkling that it could go somewhere, or at least have potential, then err on the side of caution and don't have sex with him on the first date!!!
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 I don't know. Maybe its both. I enjoy sex for sex, but I hadn't necessarily wanted to sleep with the guy in the first place. It's like after the deed, I detach myself completely from the guy. Have you considered not sleeping with anyone, just dating for awhile, until the feeling of dread goes away? Are you sure you're not afraid of attachment?
vonerik012 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 So make up a rule of thumb: for example, and this is just my rule of thumb: if you know right off the bat you want nothing from him and are not attracted to him, then wish him good night quick! if you sorta have a feeling he's not compatible with you (ie. much younger, didn't really click mentally..) BUT the sexual/physical chemistry is there, then have sex with him if you want! And...if you have an inkling that it could go somewhere, or at least have potential, then err on the side of caution and don't have sex with him on the first date!!! American men are so lucky... Once again, their women decide to have sex with men they DO NOT like, and withhold from men they DO like. After reading this over and over, how can men just not want to use women for sex? Do you think men want a relationship with women that screwed tons of guys for fun, but then withhold from them and play the "good girl"?
almost famous Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 Don't put out - wait until you're in a relationship. Sex is so much more fulfilling when it's making love.
nowhereman82 Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 American men are so lucky... Once again, their women decide to have sex with men they DO NOT like, and withhold from men they DO like. After reading this over and over, how can men just not want to use women for sex? Do you think men want a relationship with women that screwed tons of guys for fun, but then withhold from them and play the "good girl"? PFFT dude, wtf? USE!? **** that. Everyone makes it seem like women are incapable of making the decision to be involved in consensual sex. Women are (or should be) smart enough to see through bull**** and make the choice to have sex. They are not "victoms" The sad part is that a lot of peoples views on sex are scewed by society and religion. There is no personal belief beyond "well thats just the way things are and thats how I feel" A true human being without hang ups such as those is a sexual being and should be able to do whatever is safe and done in good conscious. Too many women feel guilty for having sex outside of a relationship (or one they perceive to be building). And....I'm too damn groggy from my nap, so i will end my rant here
Author xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 PFFT dude, wtf? USE!? **** that. Everyone makes it seem like women are incapable of making the decision to be involved in consensual sex. Women are (or should be) smart enough to see through bull**** and make the choice to have sex. They are not "victoms" The sad part is that a lot of peoples views on sex are scewed by society and religion. There is no personal belief beyond "well thats just the way things are and thats how I feel" A true human being without hang ups such as those is a sexual being and should be able to do whatever is safe and done in good conscious. Too many women feel guilty for having sex outside of a relationship (or one they perceive to be building). And....I'm too damn groggy from my nap, so i will end my rant here You need to chill.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 Have you considered not sleeping with anyone, just dating for awhile, until the feeling of dread goes away? Are you sure you're not afraid of attachment? In a way I am afraid of attachment, I just don't like to be tied down, after my last relationship. American men are so lucky... Once again, their women decide to have sex with men they DO NOT like, and withhold from men they DO like. After reading this over and over, how can men just not want to use women for sex? Do you think men want a relationship with women that screwed tons of guys for fun, but then withhold from them and play the "good girl"? Vonerik, I don't understand where you're getting at? I'm not using any of the guys, it's just sex. You sleep with alot of girls I'm sure, so would that constitute as you "using" them? Stop finding excuses to start a sexist war.
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