paddington bear Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I'd only be put off if he said 'dinner' without specifying where and took me to some fancy place and I was wearing a jeans and t-shirt. I would in no way see it as 'flashy' or some attempt to show off on his part, just a gesture that he wanted to take me to a really nice place, which I would appreciate - unless I knew the guy was poor and couldn't afford such a place and so would then not accept as it wouldn't be fair on him financially.
The Collector Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 But if a guy says to me "you free Thursday?", I agree and he says "I made us reservations at Shee Shee Fru Fru's" it is understood he is inviting and NOT expecting me to pitch in just because he wanted to take me to Shee Shee's. Shee Shee Fru Fru's is so old hat these days, and their Pomegranete and Gosling Souffle is a farce. If you want truly exquisite dining I recommend La Foi Du Flers de Pom-Pom across town.
paddington bear Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Shee Shee Fru Fru's is so old hat these days, and their Pomegranete and Gosling Souffle is a farce. If you want truly exquisite dining I recommend La Foi Du Flers de Pom-Pom across town. Ha ha! I hear La Foi Du Flers de Pom-Pom is a nightmare to get in to though, a friend of mine had to book a table 10 years in advance.
Jilly Bean Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I have no problem with that, in fact, I enjoy and appreciate it. It depends on the type of men you date, and their socio-economic lifestyle. If a guy who earns 40k wants to take me out for a $300 dinner on a first date, then I would feel uncomfortable, as it would not seem to be a regular move in his dating playbook. I had a guy take me to the Super Bowl last year on a first date. That ticket was somewhere over 3k. BUT, he was a specialist, who earned about a million a year. So, for him, that kind of money was not a big deal, and wasn't out of the ordinary. Basically, I am content with a date that is in line with a guy's normal spending habits and comfort level.
Tomcat33 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Shee Shee Fru Fru's is so old hat these days, and their Pomegranete and Gosling Souffle is a farce. If you want truly exquisite dining I recommend La Foi Du Flers de Pom-Pom across town. There's just no pleasing you is there? Just be lucky I didn't say Chez Merde de Jacques
porter218 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I dated a man with multi millions before and I liked his approach a lot. I met him on the east coast where I live and he took me out to a couple restaurants while he was here that were mid range prices and didn't make a single mention of how well off he was, what type of car he had or any other clue. When I had to go out to LA for work(where he lived) I asked him to pick me up at the airport he came in his Bentley. Later after work I went to his house and it was a 8,000 sq-ft house in the hills (drop dead beautiful house)...He later told me that he wanted to get me hooked on him before I saw his lifestyle....and I found that to be way more impressive then the men I have gone out with that talked about it constantly and spent $400 on first dates and made sure I knew what they were made of. To me it felt very shallow that they felt they had to do all that to get my attention. I think a man should keep his financial status private at first, those expensive dates are more appropriate on date 3 or 4.
Angel1111 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Wow! No wonder men get so confused and frustrated. A guy can take me to an expensive restaurant if he wants to - I'm not his mommy. And if he wants to bring me roses - white, pink, red, whatever - I'm great with that, too. You ladies need to lighten up and stop being so critical and cynical.
Tomcat33 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Wow! No wonder men get so confused and frustrated. A guy can take me to an expensive restaurant if he wants to - I'm not his mommy. And if he wants to bring me roses - white, pink, red, whatever - I'm great with that, too. You ladies need to lighten up and stop being so critical and cynical. I am TOTALLY with you on that sista! When a guy asks me out on a date I don't even think about the money, I just go it always works itself out.
porter218 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Wow! No wonder men get so confused and frustrated. A guy can take me to an expensive restaurant if he wants to - I'm not his mommy. And if he wants to bring me roses - white, pink, red, whatever - I'm great with that, too. You ladies need to lighten up and stop being so critical and cynical. Maybe you haven't been out with the type of guys that I am talking about. 9 times out of ten it is the type of guy I am referring to..but there are exceptions.The type of guy I am talking about spends way too much time trying to impress me with his money and lacks an actual personality. These men tell you about stuff you don't give a flying F about ...like how much their watch costs or other superficial junk. And then when they invite you out on that first date they go on to tell you how much the average meal costs there...~$3-400:rolleyes:. Now don't get me wrong..If a really nice guy with an excellent personality happened to ask me out to an expensive restaurant for the first date without trying to rub how much money he has in my face then I would be happy to go...but that man is 1 out of 10.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 The type of guy I am talking about spends way too much time trying to impress me with his money and lacks an actual personality. These men tell you about stuff you don't give a flying F about ...like how much their watch costs or other superficial junk. And then when they invite you out on that first date they go on to tell you how much the average meal costs there...~$3-400:rolleyes:. Now don't get me wrong.. Classy....
almost famous Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 White roses before a date? How is that over the top? That's awesome.
porter218 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 White roses before a date? How is that over the top? That's awesome. I must agree here...I love white roses. I love white flowers of all kinds!
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Let's say a man you're interested in asks you out, and you say YES. Then you find out he picked a rather fancy restaurant. Has this ever turned you off? Yes, I have! First of all, I'm not the type of girl who EXPECTS to be taken out to fancy restaurants on first dates (or even subsequent ones). I prefer a chill diner, coffee shop, walking around in a park, grabbing a drink, hole in the wall...... And...I was really young at the time, like around 19, and this guy, older, asked me out and took me to the Equinox in SF, which is an upscale restaurant in the Hyatt Regency that rotates. As we ate, I became more and more nauseated. I was nauseated because my date kept talking about how expensive and nice the restaurant was and how he ALWAYS takes his dates to nice restaurants, because him taking me there was making me uncomfortable so I kept pouring myself more and more wine in an attempt to deal with it better, because the restaurant kept spinning and spinning (well, it makes a 360 degree rotation in 45 minutes, but it seemed to be spinning like a possessed carousel)... I thanked him, I really did, because my mom instilled in me the idea that no one owes anyone anything and to always be appreciative, which I was, but taking someone to such a fancy restaurant on a first date tends to be a bit disgenuine, and I don't mean in all situations, but even if you can afford it, you should just take your date somewhere fun and low key. I got a sense this guy was totally showing off which turned me off. In addition, you want to take a girl somewhere nice, but low key because any woman who is only going to date you because you took her somewhere REALLY fancy off the bat, is probably not really in it because she likes you! My best guy friend actually takes his dates somewhere laid back first, I mean, I'm not talking McDonalds, lol, but somewhere low key and then save the fancy restaurants for later dates or special occassions. Again, it depends on whether it is really early on or later in the relationship. If it's later, then that's nice, but too early on it's just awkward!
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 If a woman declined a date ( when I was dating that is ) because the restaurant was too expensive then this is what I would think : I would think she is a nice girl who doesn't want me to spend too much money on a date because she really isn't to me to begin with.. She must be if'y about me to begin with and just doesn't want to use me or give me the feeling that she was using me after the dinner was over Of course this is only my opinion but it is what I would think..
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 If a woman declined a date ( when I was dating that is ) because the restaurant was too expensive then this is what I would think : I would think she is a nice girl who doesn't want me to spend too much money on a date because she really isn't to me to begin with.. Of course this is only my opinion but it is what I would think.. Maybe she has such a good time with you she doesn't care where you take her.....
Lizzie60 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Maybe you haven't been out with the type of guys that I am talking about. 9 times out of ten it is the type of guy I am referring to..but there are exceptions.The type of guy I am talking about spends way too much time trying to impress me with his money and lacks an actual personality. These men tell you about stuff you don't give a flying F about ...like how much their watch costs or other superficial junk. And then when they invite you out on that first date they go on to tell you how much the average meal costs there...~$3-400:rolleyes:. Now don't get me wrong..If a really nice guy with an excellent personality happened to ask me out to an expensive restaurant for the first date without trying to rub how much money he has in my face then I would be happy to go...but that man is 1 out of 10. Like Angel said.. if the guy wants to spend hundred or thousand dollars on me.. hey!... let him have all his pleasure.. He can brag all he wants about his money as long as he backs off his bragging... .. I'm all for it..
marlena Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Like Angel said.. if the guy wants to spend hundred or thousand dollars on me.. hey!... let him have all his pleasure Nothing more sexy!! A definite turn on (regardless, oops, of the outcome:confused:)!
mopar crazy Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I wouldn't mind as long as I didn't get a "I paid such and such amount on a nice meal for you and you aren't going to f@ck me?" Has that been said in this thread yet? I didn't read all the replies. I never had a guy actually do that, he would be a hurting unit if he had. However, I did have a guy tell his buddies "I drove almost 200 miles to take her out on a date and I didn't even get laid." and it got back to me. Needless to say, I didn't go out w/ him again after I heard that. If he wanted to get laid that bad I am sure he could have found it somewhere locally, why drive 200 miles to see me and get laid? He was a great looking guy, had girls that liked him. No reason why he thought he needed to drive 200 miles to get laid. I remained friends w/ him but as for dating, no.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Maybe you haven't been out with the type of guys that I am talking about. 9 times out of ten it is the type of guy I am referring to..but there are exceptions.The type of guy I am talking about spends way too much time trying to impress me with his money and lacks an actual personality. These men tell you about stuff you don't give a flying F about ...like how much their watch costs or other superficial junk. And then when they invite you out on that first date they go on to tell you how much the average meal costs there...~$3-400:rolleyes:. Now don't get me wrong..If a really nice guy with an excellent personality happened to ask me out to an expensive restaurant for the first date without trying to rub how much money he has in my face then I would be happy to go...but that man is 1 out of 10. Same here! I've dated these guys! I'm an attorney, I make my own money, it's not flattering or even fun for me to have to tolerate their bragging when I'm genuinely not interested in them and I'm sure they would appreciate knowing that I don't feel comfortable with the idea of them spending so much money if I'm not interested. Or it's insulting because they assume you'll keep hanging out with them and wasting the precious free time I do have going to dinner with someone I find out I'm not interested in. That man who's 1 out of 10, yes I wouldn't mind that either!!!
porter218 Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Like Angel said.. if the guy wants to spend hundred or thousand dollars on me.. hey!... let him have all his pleasure.. He can brag all he wants about his money as long as he backs off his bragging... .. I'm all for it.. You are a different case Lizzie. Back when I was dating I was only looking for serious relationships so I didn't like wasting time on someone who wasn't right for me. You seem to be more into dating just for the sake of dating...In that case I understand.
almost famous Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Good for you. However, maybe he really did like you and was just joking around with his buddies for a laugh or two. I wouldn't mind as long as I didn't get a "I paid such and such amount on a nice meal for you and you aren't going to f@ck me?" Has that been said in this thread yet? I didn't read all the replies. I never had a guy actually do that, he would be a hurting unit if he had. However, I did have a guy tell his buddies "I drove almost 200 miles to take her out on a date and I didn't even get laid." and it got back to me. Needless to say, I didn't go out w/ him again after I heard that. If he wanted to get laid that bad I am sure he could have found it somewhere locally, why drive 200 miles to see me and get laid? He was a great looking guy, had girls that liked him. No reason why he thought he needed to drive 200 miles to get laid. I remained friends w/ him but as for dating, no.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 When I was younger, I would have wondered what he was expecting from me in return, and felt uncomfortable. Now, though, I welcome lavish dates and have no preconceptions about them.
mtevermust Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Hmm I need to hang out with more ladies like you!
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