JoeNewbie Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 A few years ago, I became friends with this girl I met at a local pub. I was not particularly interested in her although she was reasonably attractive. I called her up one day, with no intentions whatsoever, and she gave me the "I'm interested in you only as a friend". I was a bit surprised as I was not about to make a pass on her or anything. Anyhow, this girl ended up having a crush on me. How common is this? Any thoughts?
beautiful_stranger Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Do you guys see each other often? Maybe she likes you as she found out more about you.
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 Do you guys see each other often? Maybe she likes you as she found out more about you. That was many years ago... And yes we used to hang out periodically but I wouldn't say often. I was just wondering about those women who reject men before being solicited...
onlyicansee Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Could be a couple things, women are crazy! It could be that she told you she was not interested, and you told her you were never interested in her, she might have felt foolish. Now, she might be trying to tell you she likes you, so you can develop feelings for her, and then she can "dump" you, or whatever strange mind control she is up to. She could also have literally become attracted to you because you denied her, which women love when you dont throw yourselves at them. Maybe, she got to know you and really likes you for who you are.
paddington bear Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 How did you know that she ended up with a crush on you? What happened to me once, met a guy, found him totally unattractive, but good company. Female friend suggested we get together. I baulked at the idea, but she'd sown the seeds - sometimes when a friend tells you someone likes you, that person suddenly intrigues you because you know they like you. Anyway, much later, we met up again and got on very well again and suddenly this guy who I had made an instant decision about became very attractive in my eyes because we clicked mentally. Unfortunately the same guy strung me along, was totally confusing, commitment phobic etc. But that's another story, and I sometimes wonder if his treatment of me was karma coming back to bite me in the ass for being so judgemental about him in the first place...
Trialbyfire Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Joe, I'm not understanding your opening post. Was this a situation of annoyed ego that reversed itself when she appeared to crush on you?
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Joe, I'm not understanding your opening post. Was this a situation of annoyed ego that reversed itself when she appeared to crush on you? Hey, this is the anti-thesis of the woman who strings men along... Even before I made a move on her, she gave me the "I'm not interested". I was wondering why someone who be so quick in saying they're not interested, only to change their mind as time goes by.
Walk Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Long ago, in my past, I threw out that line whenever I thought I was dealing with a player. I'd make sure I laid down the line before he could try to cross it. Usually I was interested in the guy, and I used it as a defense to protect myself. If later I believed he wasn't a player then I might've made amends for being so abrupt about not being interested at first. Mostly though, I did it to protect myself. To set a line that I didn't want crossed until I felt more secure with the situation and the person.
almost famous Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I am not seeing the dilemma here. After spending time with you, she changed her mind and does indeed feel romantically inclined toward you. now you know she likes you that way, so proceed accordingly as to your own interest (or lack of) in her.
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 I am not seeing the dilemma here. After spending time with you, she changed her mind and does indeed feel romantically inclined toward you. now you know she likes you that way, so proceed accordingly as to your own interest (or lack of) in her. Sorry for being so cryptic. I met Maria about 11-12 years ago. She "rejected" me right off the bat and we remained friends. She then developped a crush for me 4-5 years later but I was not interested in her. We were friends with benefits for a while and left it at that. The girl I wonder about today is her sister Stephanie. I've known her for a number of years as well and she "rejected" me just like Maria did. I haven't seen her in maybe 5 years now. I recently proposed that we go for drinks and she suggested next Friday. Unlike Maria, I would probably be interested in Stephanie. The fact that we haven't seen each other for so long combined with her quick response (and willingness to make firm plans) makes me wonder whether she is now interested in me.
Trialbyfire Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Hey, this is the anti-thesis of the woman who strings men along... Even before I made a move on her, she gave me the "I'm not interested". I was wondering why someone who be so quick in saying they're not interested, only to change their mind as time goes by. Hey, give yourself a little more credit than that. Isn't it possible that after she got to know you better, she amended her first opinion?
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 Hey, give yourself a little more credit than that. Isn't it possible that after she got to know you better, she amended her first opinion? Possibly... Honestly though, we fought and argued all the time. It's funny how people develop attraction sometimes.
Trialbyfire Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Possibly... Honestly though, we fought and argued all the time. It's funny how people develop attraction sometimes. Perhaps that's her way of playing hard to get? People can be strange.
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 "I hope you know we're not a couple" "So, are you trying to convince yourself of something?"
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 20, 2008 Author Posted September 20, 2008 "I hope you know we're not a couple" "So, are you trying to convince yourself of something?" Sorry but I'm mystified...
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Yes, the conundrum of a woman's words and actions has always mystified me
Isolde Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Dude, its not that weird. Life is not black and white. Why do people insist upon seeing romantic stuff in such rigid terms?
almost famous Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 This is really gross. I can't imagine dating someone who had been a fwb with my sister. I would never sleep with any guy who had once slept with my sister, that's just not cool.
NativeMetalGrl Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 I think she was all prepared to reject you, but once she found out you didn't want her anyway, you then became unavailable. Thus.. more desirable.
almost famous Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Dude, you f**ked her sister before, just forget her, please.
johan Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 Are you sure this isn't more a case of NO turning to MPHM GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!?
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 This is really gross. I can't imagine dating someone who had been a fwb with my sister. I would never sleep with any guy who had once slept with my sister, that's just not cool. Come on... What's so gross about this? If I could I'd do them both at the same time.
Author JoeNewbie Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 Yes, the conundrum of a woman's words and actions has always mystified me Add the time dimension and you've got one helluva confusing situation!
almost famous Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 It's gross because blood is thicker than water and I can't believe that you'd want to do that. this woman even considering dating someone who was sexually involved with her sister who cared for you is just as bad. Come to think of it, you two deserve each other, go for it. two low character scums are a perfect match.
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