ahhhchooo Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I think it is a good move. It seems any kind of contact, even receiving something as an innocent IM "How are you?" from her drives me up the wall. I told her how I feel, I didn't get mushy, I didn't say "please come back", I didn't praise anything about her. I may never find someone I loved as much as her, but dwelling on her is not going to do myself any favours. I'm coming up with a new life plan. I've never left the country except to goto a neighboring one - I live in the southern hemisphere and my closest neighbor is Australia. So I'm starting today - working toward a short term goal of moving to the United Kingdom, where I was born and discovering myself there. Emotions are a mix of excited and sad. This website is such a great help for getting through this.
Intergalactic Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 sounds like the right thing. i'm moving back to australia from new zealand - auckland reminds me way too much of my ex, EVERYTHING about it, because i moved here to be with him after an LDR for a while. i feel sad because even if he wanted me back, there's no way it would be possible after everything i'm investing to move back home, but i'm also glad because of that. i know our relationship could never be the same. after my previous relationship ended, i moved to the uk for a year as well, it did me the world of good and i had an absolute blast. i really feel that something about staying in the same city as an ex feeds the hope that they'll come back, and it's SO easy to see them whenever you want, which completely sets my healing back. best of luck to you!
nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Just keep in mind that big upsets like a break up will place you into a head state where you may make bad decisions. I've contemplated moving back to my home city....but I keep putting it off because I feel I need to be happy where I am at now before I can move somewhere else and be happy....because I know just moving somewhere new won't fix things. Shoot, I'm still up this late because I got it into my head that I should sell my big screen, my desktop, and a couple other things so I have no distractions around the apartment...so I could focus on myself. So now my brain won't shut off. So that as an example...yes potentially selling my **** so I am not a computer/tv drone could help out my personal life...but it might not be a practical solution. Anyone looking to buy a 50" DLP? lol
Author ahhhchooo Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 I'm at my folks house now, happy because we just won the football semi finals. The idea to move to the UK is not a new one. Other than being the place I was born, it's also the place where most my long serving friends are living. I've lived in New Zealand since I was 3 years old and never known anything different. It's either goto the UK, or go back to school to complete my degree I never finished. I could always do that when I get back. I'm 24 and feel like my life may be just beginning. I feel like a fool for the time I wasted on this girl, assuming she was the answer to my life questions. I don't believe she was, anymore. Financially there is so much more I can do, and I knew that from the moment she tried to tie me down. It didn't bother me since she was the 'answer'. How foolish I am.
Intergalactic Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 i disagree that taking off right now is a bad idea. make a rash decision - you're young! later on there won't be time or you'll have commitments. if you are free to just up and go, i totally recommend it. i do it, have done it before a number of times, and it's always worked for me. what better way to get your mind off things than being in a new place, making new friends and working a new job? or travelling, if you'd rather that! there are NO memories, because it's all new. i say do it.
Author ahhhchooo Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 How symbolic... My parents live very close to where I used to live while I was with my SO. Just before I went to sleep tonight I went to smoke a cigarette, walked to where we used to live. The lights were all turned on, I could see directly into the house and my mind began turning back to the thoughts of when we lived there, the good times we had - I could even see into the room where we used to make love. After a few minutes, as I was finishing my cigarette, the lights in the house turned out. That part of my life has been shut off, much the same as the lights in that house were shut off as I watched. I'll goto sleep feeling sad. I have a big day tomorrow. Hopefully I won't think of her.
Author ahhhchooo Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 i disagree that taking off right now is a bad idea. make a rash decision - you're young! later on there won't be time or you'll have commitments. if you are free to just up and go, i totally recommend it. i do it, have done it before a number of times, and it's always worked for me. what better way to get your mind off things than being in a new place, making new friends and working a new job? or travelling, if you'd rather that! there are NO memories, because it's all new. i say do it. I will think about it. I have nothing to lose right now. The only reason I didn't do it earlier was because of her. Now I'm conflicted between immediately beginning to improve myself (studying) and having the time of my life (moving to the UK and touring Europe). Best to do the former while I'm young, isn't it? Time to sleep on it Thanks nowhereman and intergalactic for the responses. I follow both of your stories and feel for both of you, as I do most people on this forum.
nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Never regret a relationship. They came to your life for a reason. And whether you realize it or not, you took something from it and grew in some way. Next time, and the time after that, you will learn something more, and become an even better person Those are called life's lessons my friend
Recommended Posts