Generic Username Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Ahh.. so apparently I have once again rejoined the world of people who have somebody, no longer the chronically single fast food eating dirty apartment guy. But this feels really strange. She's exactly like me. We're both the type who are very unexpressive. We don't have mushy talk, we both keep it cool and don't ever have any kind of emotional sensitive lovey dovey moments.. yet I think we're both starting to feel it.. especially since lately things been heating up in the bedroom. We talk while laying in bed after, and that's when I see her show a different side.. more laughing, smiling, and showing her vulnerable soft side. But next day, we go back to work and email, and it's the usual non-mushy emails. Few days ago, we had kinda a mushy night at her place.. right after we shagged, layed there and 'exposed' some personal stuff. I haven't really got to speak to her since, it's been two days. She txt'd a 'cute' message for the first time last night. I could feel her being very cautious about it, cause to her, that's probably a big step. I couldn't get to respond until today, but I couldn't get myself to send a 'cute' reply.. so my reply might of sounded, well a bit dry. It was to the likes of 'cool.. so I'm in the mood for some sushi' or something. It's like I can sense her insecurity, because I'm like this too.. so it's like, I know that feeling of txting someone something cutesy and hoping they respond a certain way, and if they don't.. it's like a mini-rejection feeling. I sense her having that mini-rejection feeling. This is starting to happen a lot. I don't know what to do. I just let it go. She eventually gets back to me, and we plan another outing, and in person, we get mushy again. It's while we're away, this urge to act so straight faced--nonchalont-- but I feel a softness inside, I just can't let it out.. yet. I don't know when. I feel like as soon as I get soft on her, I'll lose my appeal. It's like.. keep doing what's working.. well, my aloofness is what's working. Do u think I'm ready to start exposing myself now? Should I start being a little more sweet now? Should I send a cutesy txt? I don't know. U tell me.
Lucky_One Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 You have sex with her, but you can't be "soft" towards her?
Green Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I don't even know how long u guys have been screwing for let alone dating... need more data
Author Generic Username Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 More data? I thought my post was already a novel. Known her=year. Dated=few months.
Lucky_One Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I don't know what to tell you. I am pretty vulnerable during the clothes removal stage, so afterwards I am mush.
Prodigal Princess Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I totally get where you are coming from, I am this way too. I've only let the soft side come out with one person and that was after quit a bit of cojoling. Anyway, you can't fake mushiness if you don't feel it. I wouldn't send contrived emails or messages just because you think it will make her feel more secure if you do so. You'll just end up feeling uncomfortable and perhaps resentful. It'll also speed things along and I dont think you're ready for that yet. Why don't you tell her how you're feeling when you're in bed together and more at ease with the mushiness? Just validate her a bit, tell her you liked her cute messages and that someday you'll get there too, or something. I dont know, you should try to make her feel secure in a way that doesn't embarress you... I think she's lucky to have you as a boyfriend, you sound insightful and caring, for a guy.
Green Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Well if you like her just go ahead and be mushy with her... its been 4 months of dating ur good to go... and yes you might lose her whether or not you act mushy so just do what you want...
nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 You can be mushy and just understand she isn't capable of reciprocating just yet. Be the leader here....since it takes two to tango. Once she see's that you aren't apprehensive like she is...she will get comfortable and let the soft side out. Which unfortunately is her crazy side...ENJOY!
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