nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 So I'm out of a 5 year relationship and so this is my first time as dating as an adult....unfortunately only being 26 I think I missed out on a good education in woman and flirting. So ladies....how do you like your man to show interest? I feel really bad because flirting is half the fun and I rob it from these girls. I have a great personality and I am cute. They most often show interest in me (not to be conceeded) and I show interest back in my own way (listening and interacting with the convo, not being bored) but I've had 2 girls now state they were disappointed I didn't flirt. I don't even understand the concept, it's lame. I want to be able to flirt with words and not just physical touch, as it's easy for anyone to touch another person. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Are you just concerned about the flirting part of meeting girls, or closing the deal? Some people are just natural flirts... it comes easy to them. There is a cute owner of a starbucks I go to everday- and he always greets me with "hey beautiful"... or "seeing you has just made my day". The other day I was in line and he looked up and saw me and gave me a big wink. This guy knows how to flirt, because I am telling you- he gives me butterflies everytime I see him. He makes me feel GREAT - and that is often what it is all about! When someone makes you feel good- they leave you feeling good, and they associate those good feelings with being around you. Soooo, they go back for more! I like when I am talking to a guy and he is listening intently, making intense eye contact with a little smile as he cocks his head to the side. Don't know why- but that gets me all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 Well what you like is what I do....so who knows. And I am looking for how to flirt with first dates. Where there is no familiarity. D-Lish why you remove your cute picture Your dog doesn't do it for me! Link to post Share on other sites
Balthazar Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 D-Lish why you remove your cute picture Your dog doesn't do it for me! Quick Learner! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I always laugh when men ask women for advice... I figuritivly laugh. hahaha. Its like asking a fish how to catch it. First off its a really bad sign that these girls are picking you apart like this... or it could be flirting... maybe when they pick you apart its flirting... and now its time for you to call them a dork or what ever... hmmmm hard to tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 No it wasn't meant as a mean thing, just kind of like a pouty statement...so I guess it was said flirtingly And of course I had nothing to say back DOH Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 No it wasn't meant as a mean thing, just kind of like a pouty statement...so I guess it was said flirtingly And of course I had nothing to say back DOH well now that your single and dating again, it dating different girls will feel alot like time travel... history will repeat itself and then you flirt... They kind of pick on you about being a bad kisser, bad talker what ever. and then you get cute with them like ...... something situational use ur humor Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 Maybe I am just void of humor haha Guess I will see where this thread goes, I know it can't be taught...but some pointers and perspective would help. I understand you have to crash and burn several times before you get it...and somethings won't work with different girls. I have a date with a new girl on Sunday and a 2nd date with one on Friday....so hopefully I figure it out before then >.< Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Maybe I am just void of humor haha Guess I will see where this thread goes, I know it can't be taught...but some pointers and perspective would help. I understand you have to crash and burn several times before you get it...and somethings won't work with different girls. I have a date with a new girl on Sunday and a 2nd date with one on Friday....so hopefully I figure it out before then >.< as a guy who has been in a relationship for the past few years you'd think you'd be a Master flirt. I mean harmless flirting with cute chicks is the most a guy in a relationship gets some times. Heres some examples... If a girl has an accent coment that its cute and talke about it...if the girl messes up and uses improper gramar call her on it... if she makes a wierd face... obviously don't tease the girl in a hurtfull way.. but if you do it right girls have a good time geting teased and it will make you seem funny or whatever Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 I did flirt but usually with chicks I interacted with from work. But I was pretty monogamist and was very happy with my ex....sept for the sex part lol, so flirting wouldn't fix that since I don't cheat Can't seem to sleep tonight...think I will call in tomorrow =/ Link to post Share on other sites
ed-205 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Maybe I am just void of humor haha Guess I will see where this thread goes, I know it can't be taught...but some pointers and perspective would help. I understand you have to crash and burn several times before you get it...and somethings won't work with different girls. I have a date with a new girl on Sunday and a 2nd date with one on Friday....so hopefully I figure it out before then >.< Wikkipedia > search "flirting, how to" Exposing myself for the true Geek that I am... Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Be real, be engaged, smile and make eye contact. I will say that I think it just depends on the woman. I have had guys try to flirt with me that I wanted nothing to do with and guys flirt with me that I just responded better too. Maybe it had to do with how attracted I was to him to begin with. But if you real about yourself, and seem honestly intersted in getting to know her, keeping it light at times and making eye contact, you have a good start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 You're the second girl that likes eye contact and good convo and asking questions about them. Maybe I am not doing to bad....lol I still feel I am lacking what KMT was describing with coming back with some humor when they tease you about something Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 You're the second girl that likes eye contact and good convo and asking questions about them. Maybe I am not doing to bad....lol I still feel I am lacking what KMT was describing with coming back with some humor when they tease you about something Some women like flirty, some women like hearty conversation. If you start a conversation, add a bit of flirtatious comments towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 LOL papercuts....thats what I am asking for! I don't know what or how to make a flirtatious comment Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Hey, let's join a crap flirts club. I'm useless too! However recently people (and I mean both men and women) flirting with me is on the increase, for what unfathomable reason I know not. Problem is, while I interact I've no idea what to do beyond talking back and smiling at guys, so any suggestions on how to take a flirt session beyond just flirting gratefully welcomed. A friend told me that I need some follow up lines, but I'm not sure what exactly... Anyway, a smile is a good starter, the long lingering look, hold eye contact for a little longer than normal (not too long or you will look intimidating), do the triangle look, eye to eye down to the mouth and back to the eyes. Apparently if you nod while talking to someone they will agree with what you're saying. Try it while verbally flirting with someone 'so, would you like to go out Saturday night' nod nod...apparently it works!! I would say that you could be talking about some incredibly boring thing but if you are looking at a girl as if she is the most desireable thing, it won't matter what you're actually saying, she'll pick up on the non-verbal signals. I love compliments, I might get a bit embarrassed when I am complimented, but to be told I look great today, or those shoes are fantastic always goes down well. And I guess if you're meeting some girl for the second time try to remember something she told you about herself previously and ask her about it. Shows you have been thinking of her in the interim and that you remember her. As for other specific cute lines....I don't have any!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 So I met up with the girl that last told me I wasn't flirting with her, again last night. I guess she is a physical flirter vs verbal....so I guess each women wants to be flirted with differently? She just wanted me to show her physical attention, so I did it, and needless to say, I had a very fun night! But I still feel that be able to verbally flirt is important, specially if you're picking up on someone in a social situation. No one has words of wisdom eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Ask questions about her, and respond to what she says with comments or more questions. Touch her hand or arm. Put your hand on her lower back when you're entering or exiting a place. Give her sincere but not over-the-top compliments, about both her appearance and qualities unrelated to appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 Don't think that's what I am looking for. How to explain. Word Play? The are ways to subtly flirt and be fun about it without being direct. Link to post Share on other sites
ianandris Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Flirting is like good conversation, bro. It just happens. Flirting is about making the girl feel comfortable, relaxed, and just a little special. It's about letting her know that she's caught your eye. The best way to do that is one, to talk to her, and two, to feel comfortable and relaxed yourself. You'd be surprised at how many girls consider friendly conversation with a smile flirtatious. Link to post Share on other sites
Legend Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 You could cut the flirting out and cut to the chase. give it a shot, it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 sheesh....so confused. It really sounds like I am doing the right thing so maybe these broads are just crazy? Thats what I get for second guessing myself! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 carhill: "you're such a man" female friend: "you're such a b!tch" carhill: "yeah, but I'm your b!tch" female friend: squeezes carhill's ass and smiles. carhill: nods knowingly. No further words are exchanged That's just something friends do. It's not real. Do not do this with any woman you wish to have a relationship with OP, seriously, don't second guess yourself. Be natural. Have confidence in yourself. The right woman for you will naturally intertwine within this dynamic. "Flirting" won't be something you even think about; it'll just flow. Link to post Share on other sites
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