onlyicansee Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Again, its eating away at me. Like fire, it consumes me. 20-30 times a day it lets me know that I am still fighting it. I hate it, and I am beginning to hate her because of it. I want to lash out at her, and make her hurt because her past is continually making me hurt. If I stay with her, I will always feel as though I have been duped because I am with a slut. I will always feel second to the guys in her past. Knowing she ****ed guys with big dicks, knowing guys ****ed her harder, knowing guys ****ed her longer, knowing guys ****ed her more, knowing she liked it all... Knowing she would **** people after a couple hours of knowing them... All of it, it will always hurt me... Why should I feel the need to accept that about her? I dont want that part of her. I dont want it... Is it really so ****ing wrong to want a chick who didnt **** random guys and girls! Is it really so wrong to not want a girl who gave the most intimate part of her body away to so many people? Is it so wrong to feel insecure sexually because she tells me she ****ed guys with bigger dicks! I feel so jipped. I finally find a girl I am really into, but it turns out shes just a slut, and lets anyone get close to her. Im not special, im only as special as the other douche bags that she let **** her. Im no different, im just a peice of ****. I hate myself, I hate my life, and I hate my gf. I wish I could just undue all of it, and rid myself of all this negative bull****. I hope she enjoyed taking all that dick, I really hope she got what she wanted from those other people, because in the long run it has taken from me everything I wanted from her. ****...****!
tanbark813 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 So break up with her. You might want to look into anger management too.
Siphon9a Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 OH MAN! Do I ever know how you feel. There are alot of people on here that feel the same way. And judging from the way you are about enraged about it all, I don't see you being able to deal with it. If you haven't been with this girl long, I would highly suggest moving on. It will end up consuming you and her, believe me I know from experience. And even if it doesn't consume her it will eat you up inside from now on. And the ****ed up part is, there's no rational reason for those things to have happened that could have been handled better. Find you a girl that makes better decisions with her life that are similar to yours so you can be happy. I can understand your frustration, anger, resentment and all of it. Next will come the trying to rationalize and understand it all. The feeling sorry for her and for youself. From there it will go up and down but all the while be a in the back of your head. Songs you hear, stuff on TV, friends comments, even friends that are like the ones she ****ed will be a constant ringing reminder. Just get out of it man, for the both of you.
Dirk Diggler Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Did you know any of this before you dated her? If yes, then you kind of chose to date a slut. If no, i agree that's a huge bomb to have dropped on you. If anything you should unload that skank and get yourself tested if she's getting around like you say. A girl like that, is like hazardous waste. Toxic inside and out.
manugeorge Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 OH MAN! Do I ever know how you feel. There are alot of people on here that feel the same way. And judging from the way you are about enraged about it all, I don't see you being able to deal with it. If you haven't been with this girl long, I would highly suggest moving on. It will end up consuming you and her, believe me I know from experience. And even if it doesn't consume her it will eat you up inside from now on. And the ****ed up part is, there's no rational reason for those things to have happened that could have been handled better. Find you a girl that makes better decisions with her life that are similar to yours so you can be happy. I can understand your frustration, anger, resentment and all of it. Next will come the trying to rationalize and understand it all. The feeling sorry for her and for youself. From there it will go up and down but all the while be a in the back of your head. Songs you hear, stuff on TV, friends comments, even friends that are like the ones she ****ed will be a constant ringing reminder. Just get out of it man, for the both of you. And do it now, please, this is just sick!
Siphon9a Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 And do it now, please, this is just sick! The sick part of it is that as I read each word of his post I found myself thinking alot of the same stuff. **** I'm messed up in the head.
wittygirl09 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Trust me, I am having the same thoughts about my boyfriend. Maybe I am crazy too.
manugeorge Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 When you lose respect for your SO due to his or her slutty past and in the case of the OP when you find yourself imagining every thrust and body parts, it is past time to get out of the relationship and get help. It's a fundamental difference in beliefs that will not be solved by rationalizing it away. Just get out and find someone who hasn't slept around. It's that simple.
Siphon9a Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Trust me, I am having the same thoughts about my boyfriend. Maybe I am crazy too. No sweetie, you have what most of the world lacks called a moral conscience. Oh and self-respect, whereas the latter look for immediate gratification regardless of future damage to make the self-centered world appear better for the moment rather than being a grown-up and making big boy and big girl decisions. Then they meet someone like you and completely turn yours upside down when you were completely find and content without them.
Siphon9a Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 When you lose respect for your SO due to his or her slutty past and in the case of the OP when you find yourself imagining every thrust and body parts, it is past time to get out of the relationship and get help. It's a fundamental difference in beliefs that will not be solved by rationalizing it away. Just get out and find someone who hasn't slept around. It's that simple. The more I read what your say on your posts the more sense I seem to be making in my current situation. God if I could only heed my own and your advice I'd probably be much better off mentally. I'm a total ****ing moron.:mad::mad::mad::mad:
wittygirl09 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I don't know, I just sort of feel like "college", "young age" or a "broken heart" or "trying to find yourself sexually" shouldn't be considered a blanket excuse to cheat, sleep around, engage in risky behavior (group sex) etc. I wish having a view like that didn't make society automatically assume that you're a judgmental, narrow-minded prick and that your SO is just "sexually free and liberated." Ostracizing people who look down on casual sex is the same as ostracizing people who sleep around. Maybe it isn't universal but instead two different schools of thought.
D-Lish Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I think the choice is clear, you need to break up with her. You'll never reconcile with her past, and she seems to have no problem telling you things about her past that are better left unsaid. It's a no-win situation. That amount of anger, hatred and negativity has no place in a healthy relationship. Time to move on.
Siphon9a Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I don't know, I just sort of feel like "college", "young age" or a "broken heart" or "trying to find yourself sexually" shouldn't be considered a blanket excuse to cheat, sleep around, engage in risky behavior (group sex) etc. I wish having a view like that didn't make society automatically assume that you're a judgmental, narrow-minded prick and that your SO is just "sexually free and liberated." Ostracizing people who look down on casual sex is the same as ostracizing people who sleep around. Maybe it isn't universal but instead two different schools of thought. Well I don't know about you but I have never and will never look to society for any value that I put into my own thinking. It's a complete mess of varying *******s and opinions and personally I don't care for either of them. And as far as condemnation for having values and self-respect to keep intimacy within the confines of a relationship, bring on the taunts. I could careless. I have close friends who's opinions I value and there are posters on here that I have come to respect the opinions of and have learned alot from. I guess my society is what I decide it will be and not what Mr. so and so says as my view of his opinion is as null as mine is to his. At the end of the day my choices I make will have to be explained to the one I decide to marry and for me I hold resolution in the fact of not choosing to do those things to have a clear conscience that when I meet a person with similar values, they won't have to dwell like I am doing in the current mess I'm in. Why am I still in it??? Hell if I know. I'm a moron.
norajane Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 If you feel so strongly about it, why don't you break up? It's not like there aren't other people in the world that you can fall in love with, people who share your views on sex. Why try to push this boulder uphill, when you can stroll hand in hand with someone who is on the same path as you?
manugeorge Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I don't know, I just sort of feel like "college", "young age" or a "broken heart" or "trying to find yourself sexually" shouldn't be considered a blanket excuse to cheat, sleep around, engage in risky behavior (group sex) etc. I wish having a view like that didn't make society automatically assume that you're a judgmental, narrow-minded prick and that your SO is just "sexually free and liberated." Ostracizing people who look down on casual sex is the same as ostracizing people who sleep around. Maybe it isn't universal but instead two different schools of thought. Neither side is right or wrong. We all just make different choices that we should be able to stand by/for and not be judged for it. Sexually liberated folks are not evil and sexually conservative people are not prudes. The problem comes when you start to mix and match, there is enough of each side to go around, just make life simple and find someone who agrees with your side. Sex is too strong of a topic to try and compromise on in my opinion. Isn't the point of dating to find someone who makes it easier for your to be yourself? in all your wildness or prudeness?
manugeorge Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 If you feel so strongly about it, why don't you break up? It's not like there aren't other people in the world that you can fall in love with, people who share your views on sex. Why try to push this boulder uphill, when you can stroll hand in hand with someone who is on the same path as you? I know!!!. It's like when people say, "she's perfect for me BUT....." and then they go and list a bucket full of faults and rants about their SO. If that's the case, she's not perfect for you and you can find others to date.
AAlike Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 hmmm...well, I'd be inclined to agree wtih you all on this matter, except: I said it before, and I will say it again. If the person truly has come out of that part of their life, that person is no longer part of them, and they are 100% sure that its the past, then I think that if their is a laundry list of things that would potentially damage a meaningful connection with someone, it should probably not be disclosed. so I feel that this "outburst" is probably more a manifestation of frustration than it is literal anger. it's pretty simple - if you really feel that she is a "slut" and are hating her for her past, then, yes, it's time to move on. but I suspect that's not the case...
AAlike Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 No sweetie, you have what most of the world lacks called a moral conscience. Oh and self-respect, whereas the latter look for immediate gratification regardless of future damage to make the self-centered world appear better for the moment rather than being a grown-up and making big boy and big girl decisions. Then they meet someone like you and completely turn yours upside down when you were completely find and content without them. siphon, if this is really how you feel then you should break up with her.
sweet&simple Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I don't mean this to come off offensive, so if it does, I apologize in advance.. however, if this is SUCH a problem for you, break up with her. Obviously you're not "really into her," if you can't get over her past and are holding it against her. She can't change what she's done, and you can't change how you feel about it [obviously,] so just end things. And if this is your reaction, this anger and hatred, maybe you should look into getting some therapy [that was the part I thought might offend you.] I'm just saying EVERYONE you meet and date will have things in their past you're not going to like.. everyone you date will probably have had sex before you with partners that might have "bigger dicks," or have "****ed them harder." I understand this might be an extreme case since she's been with numerous people.. but.. seriously unless you find some super religious virgin until marriage girl, you're going to have to accept people have a past and move on from it.
Author onlyicansee Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 Yea but I dont have problem with her having sex before me. I dont want a virgin, I dont want to be the only "dick" that my woman has experienced, I dont want her ever wondering what other guys are like, or anything like that. Im not out for a virgin, ITS NOT WHAT I WANT! What I want is to feel special to her, to feel sexually important, to feel like I have ventured her body like no other man, I want to feel like those other people before gave her nothing compared to me. I dont want to hear that she ****ed guys with bigger dicks. I dont want to get done ****ing her and thrusting as hard as I can, to the point where I feel like I am going to break her or my pelvic bone, and have her tell me other people ****ed her harder. I dont want to live my life with my gf knowing that no matter what we do, she has already had more, or better, or whatever with other people other than me. I love her, and I want to be with her. I am into her, and if I wasnt into her, or didnt feel such love for her, I WOULD END IT! But its not that easy. Its like you telling someone with anorexia to just eat something. Its not that easy you guys, im not out to leave her. All I want is to move past this. If she would just let me castrate her daily and tell her how slutty she is, it might actually make me feel better. Who knows.
sweet&simple Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Yea but I dont have problem with her having sex before me. I dont want a virgin, I dont want to be the only "dick" that my woman has experienced, I dont want her ever wondering what other guys are like, or anything like that. Im not out for a virgin, ITS NOT WHAT I WANT! What I want is to feel special to her, to feel sexually important, to feel like I have ventured her body like no other man, I want to feel like those other people before gave her nothing compared to me. I dont want to hear that she ****ed guys with bigger dicks. I dont want to get done ****ing her and thrusting as hard as I can, to the point where I feel like I am going to break her or my pelvic bone, and have her tell me other people ****ed her harder. I dont want to live my life with my gf knowing that no matter what we do, she has already had more, or better, or whatever with other people other than me. I love her, and I want to be with her. I am into her, and if I wasnt into her, or didnt feel such love for her, I WOULD END IT! But its not that easy. Its like you telling someone with anorexia to just eat something. Its not that easy you guys, im not out to leave her. All I want is to move past this. If she would just let me castrate her daily and tell her how slutty she is, it might actually make me feel better. Who knows. I just want to make sure that you realize that there will always be other things, sexual or not, that girls will probably think their exes did better. That's not an insult against you, it's just how things are. It is unlikely you will top every certain aspect of every relationship they've ever had. You should feel just fine with the fact that although they have had better this and that in the past, they're with you now and for a reason. I'm just saying that it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship and instead of focusing on the things you can do for her and the good aspects of the relationship, you're focusing far too heavily on your short comings. And I seriously think you need some help if that last sentence wasn't a joke haha. "Man, if my girlfriend would just let me cut her down mentally every day, I could probably move on." If it wasn't a joke, and you actually think that will help and attempt to do that.. I hope she leaves you.
tanbark813 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I dont want to get done ****ing her and thrusting as hard as I can, to the point where I feel like I am going to break her or my pelvic bone, and have her tell me other people ****ed her harder. This makes her sound crazy. If she would just let me castrate her daily and tell her how slutty she is, it might actually make me feel better. Who knows. And this makes you sound crazy.
bish Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Again, its eating away at me. Like fire, it consumes me. 20-30 times a day it lets me know that I am still fighting it. I hate it, and I am beginning to hate her because of it. I want to lash out at her, and make her hurt because her past is continually making me hurt. If I stay with her, I will always feel as though I have been duped because I am with a slut. I will always feel second to the guys in her past. Knowing she ****ed guys with big dicks, knowing guys ****ed her harder, knowing guys ****ed her longer, knowing guys ****ed her more, knowing she liked it all... Knowing she would **** people after a couple hours of knowing them... ????? Does she throw crap like that in your face or something??? She must, otherwise how do you know all of this?
porter218 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I dont want to get done ****ing her and thrusting as hard as I can, to the point where I feel like I am going to break her or my pelvic bone, and have her tell me other people ****ed her harder. Is she volunteering this information after you have sex with her?? or are you asking her??
AAlike Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I just want to make sure that you realize that there will always be other things, sexual or not, that girls will probably think their exes did better. That's not an insult against you, it's just how things are. It is unlikely you will top every certain aspect of every relationship they've ever had. You should feel just fine with the fact that although they have had better this and that in the past, they're with you now and for a reason. that is true, however...although I can certainly understand the arguments that people should disclose the past, I really see NO reason that people should disclose that their ex did something better, especially sexually, which is an area where nobody's REALLY that confident. I'm just saying that it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship and instead of focusing on the things you can do for her and the good aspects of the relationship, you're focusing far too heavily on your short comings. yeah, after the second post, I'm not really sure what you want out of her, but if she is really telling you that other guys "f*cked her harder" then I don't think that you guys are really meant to be. if that's something that you're imagining or something, then I suggest some therapy.
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