ioncebelieved Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I almost made it three months NC until Monday and today. It was her birthday today and like a fool, I just had to call and wish her a happy one. Monday I did better, keeping simple, but today after wishing her a happy birthday, I had to throw in how much I missed her and a day has not gone by w/o me thinking of her. She began to cry and Now I am trying to analyze it, which I should not. I ended by telling her she could call me and do not be a stranger. Wow, I feel weak and silly because in my heart I thought it was right. So I am back to square one since my heart knocked my head out today! It changed nothing!!!! I am sure she will not just magically reappear because of my weakness. Those thinking of going LC from NC, think it out well advance being doing so!!
0hpenelope Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 You honestly think it's a setback, this LC? I'd agree with you before, but... I don't know. Perhaps it's going to lead you to enforce an even stricter NC? You caved in to what you wanted and it's normal. I guess with all things considered, LC is a setback. But no one's going to beat you to death for breaking NC. You still have some control over here, you know.
norajane Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 So you called on her birthday to make her feel bad for dumping you?
Author ioncebelieved Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 So you called on her birthday to make her feel bad for dumping you? Absolutely not!! I called her on her birthday because I miss her, still love her and am willing to try working on things. I thought calling her on her birthday would open up for me to do so. I initiated NC because of lack of commitment and other issues.
foxh1234 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Hi IOB, I think it was nice of you to wish her happy birthday and don't beat yourself up about it. She knows how you feel, leave that with her and go back to NC. If she wants you, she will contact you. Don't let this set you back man. Take care
Author ioncebelieved Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 Hi IOB, I think it was nice of you to wish her happy birthday and don't beat yourself up about it. She knows how you feel, leave that with her and go back to NC. If she wants you, she will contact you. Don't let this set you back man. Take care Thanks Fox, I have always respected your opinion and views. Like you said, after two times in one week from NC in three months, I think that I have done enough. I know you are still holding strong and I am not sure if this is a setback for me or not. I still love and miss her. That will probably never change. Again thanks my friend!!
foxh1234 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 No prob buddy, stay strong and forget about the contact. Go back to NC and let more time heal you completely. It's working for me. pm me anytime you need to vent.
ahhhchooo Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 That is sad to hear.. 3 months was a long time to stick at it and you don't deserve your wounds to be reopened. My ex's birthday is coming up too and I wanted to get her something great since she put so much time and effort into my birthday back in May. It's going to be sad to watch her birthday pass by... if I stick with NC this time it will be nearly 3 months by then so I will learn from your experience
norajane Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Hang in there. There will come a time when their birthdays will pass by without you even remembering or caring. You will feel so free and renewed.
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