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Scared, nervous but also kind of excited


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Posted

Ok- for those of you who are definetly going thru with a divorce- does anyone feel this way?

Even though I am going thru a lot of pain with this- part of me is a tad excited about being single again- even at age 45. perhaps because I was so lonely in my marriage for so many years, I look forward to the possibility of meeting someone new- ya know? Someone who I can really connect with, have some things in common with- have fun with. I don't know how and I don't know where, but just perhaps I will get lucky and the thought of that excites me.

Some days I am terrified that this won't happen- not that I mind being alone, but I have been alone for so long, and I know I will be ok on my own- but sometimes I am thinking that being in the marriage is better than being alone---but then I change my thinking again and realize how unhappy I was.

Does anyone else ever feel like a complete psycho, going form one type of feeling to another? is this normal?

Posted

Nah, I feel like I wasted my prime years (8 of them) on her. That was so much time of being faithful with someone who turned out to be unfaithful that it seems like the feeling is scarred into my brain. When I find myself checking out an attractive woman I still almost immediately feel guilty the way I would have before knowing that I was married and unavailable. My head's screwed up and then some.

Posted

I'm right there with you; I'm 44 years of age and just ended a 3-year relationship. However, I have been a serial monogamist and am living alone in my first apartment for the FIRST TIME in my adult life! I literally left my parents' house when I was 19 to get married -- my marriage lasted until I was 25. I had a 3-year relationship with another guy I lived with, then a 12-year one as well. I have never lived without a man and have been doing so now for THREE WHOLE WEEKS.

 

What a transition it is! And exciting too. There are many days I am abjectly sad because I am used to cuddling and miss waking up with someone and having someone around. But I am also looking better now than I ever have (losing 50 pounds helped me!) and am just starting to date. It is a whole new ballgame. The ending of my last relationship was the hardest break-up I've ever had -- He was a raging alcoholic, I found out he was cheating on me while he wouldn't have sex with me, he flaunted it by bringing girls home while I was in the process of moving out, etc. I don't think I cried as much in my previous three break-ups as I did with this recent one but now that I am on my own, it is all great!

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Posted

Yes, I feel even though I am 45- god that sounds so old---I am looking pretty hot- better than I did in my marriage- why? Because I am finally taking care of ME. I wouldlove to date, but I have no idea where to meet someone in this family-oriented small town. I DO have an account on match.com however- I know a ton of people (professionals) who met their SO's that way! SO I figure, what the heck, I will give it a try. Lots of winks so far, but no one yet who floats my boat. I don't mean to be too picky but on the other hand, I know its importnat not to jump right into just anything at all.

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