anderson Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Let me preface this by saying that this girl is amazing, and in general our relationship has been going really well. Also, we have a long distance relationship. About 1000 miles separate us and we only see each other once or twice a month now, but we have coped with it just fine. There has been one thing which really bothers me though. She has been in two separate relationships that lasted longer than 2 years, and she cheated on both of the guys. Her best friend in the city where she lives is a guy, and I was okay with that. But now after we have been dating for more than 9 months she lets it slip that this guy is also an ex-boyfriend. What bothers me the most is that she kept it from me all this time, but it compounds with her history of cheating. I’m not about to ask her to quit hanging out with her best friend there, but at the same time I know I would never hang out with someone I had a physical relationship in the past while I’m trying to pursue a serious relationship with someone else. I believe her when she says she hasn’t cheated on me (yet), but I think the reason people end up cheating is because they put themselves in situations where it can happen. I really like this girl, but I just can’t seem to make myself trust her. Should I break up with her, or should I just keep treading on? Am I being unreasonable, or should I say something? Thanks in advance for your advice!
winx717 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I've been in a similar boat before. My ex cheated on me so many times it was unfathomable. Then one day I asked myself 'how can i expect him to be faithful to me when he even cheated on his ex wife before?' I loved him with all of my heart and I still have feelings for him. The thing is that you need to assess the situation, which i think you have, and ask yourself if the relationship is worthy of you putting all of your worry into. I think that at 9 months, it is still relatively new. Long distance relationships are hard because there is no way to know where that person is at any given time of the day. If you love her, wait it out. Maybe you're the one that can make her change. But if you feel like it is interfering too much with your day-to-day life, maybe you should just be long distance friends. It's your call, and I wish you much luck and happiness.
tanbark813 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I don't think you're being unreasonable. You also might want to take steps to verify that the guy is an ex and not a current bf.
TotalChaos Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Tricky situation, but I believe that overall you should follow your gut instincts on this one. If you really believe that you can't trust her then you probably can't. There is a reason why she didnt tell you sooner that her friend is an ex. Best of luck and let us know what you decide.
preeya_WT Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 i think u r being unreasonable n that too a lot, dont u know how does a girl really feel wen she is serious for someone. dont let urself b fooled dear........
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