Something to confess...

[wayfaerer1]

Well, I guess I was really THAT in denial that I just couldn't bring myself to speak these words...

 

But, she cheated on me before she broke up with me - kissed another guy at the bar, which is what she said made her realize, "red flag, I need re-evaluate where I am."

 

She said she felt bad but that because it was new to her, it felt really good.

 

I have been so afraid to admitt it to everyone, because just thinking about it hurts so bad.

 

Anyway, I've still not talked to her in a week, and I'd like to keep it that way, but god damn...

 

 

 

How the hell do you get that picture out of your head???

 

The person you felt connected to, you felt was yours and nobody elses, hooking up with someone else?

 

It literally makes me sick to my stamach and weak at the knees.

 

What did I do to deserve this? Does she or will she ever feel remorse?

 

I feel like death...

[CherishG]

I totally know how you feel on this...

 

its that moment they are faced with temptation, and knowing that their so called "undying love" for us couldn't make them resist it.

 

It's just a damn shame that redefining moment can change the lives of the people who really do love them...

 

Stay strong way, I'm depending on you for your strength.

 

It's because of your determination to get over this, makes me have hope for myself that I also can get over this.

[wayfaerer1]

I don't know how much strength I have left.

 

I've been betrayed...

 

And to me, betrayal is worse than a broken heart...

 

 

 

Whenever she does, if she does, contact me in the future, I'll be sure to ask her if she wants her knife back, ya know, the one that's jammed into my back, only I can't get it out because it's been twisted around several times.

[wayfaerer1]

Anyone else who's been cheated on, please give me some advice.

 

I feel like I'm going to be sick...

 

Should I continue with the "no contact" thing even though I know she's cheated on me while we were still together?

 

I don't know what to do with myself...

 

Should I send her an e-mail telling her how screwed up that is and how she really made me feel? How much it truly hurts to be betrayed like that?

 

Or should I just keep going with "no contact".

 

At this point, I don't want her back, I don't know if you can forgive someone for cheating on you, can you?

 

God damn, I can't get the picture of my gf and another dude hooking up, out of my head.

 

How do you get over that? Anyone?

[Davey McG]

Maintain No Contact!

 

You need to do this to get over it. Even though she did things that were bad, you need to recover for yourself. Telling her how she messed up might seem like an idea but it won't make you feel any better in the long run.

 

You can't forgive someone, as you'll be setting the precedent to allow them to do it all over again.

[Jono]

damn man, I feel for you.

You're right it hurts way more when you are cheated on or she leaves to be with someone else. It really rocks your confidence for a while, makes you question stuff.

The thing is though, that sadly, it happens all the time. It's how these things go sometimes. It's crap and hurts like hell, trust me, I know.

The main thing to keep in mind is this:

 

It is not a reflection on you.

She was wrong to do this.

You are a good person and didn't deserve this.

You'll be ok, you'll eventually rise above this.

 

What she did is terrible and you can decide whether to forgive her later, for now you can just be angry at her.

NC is porbably the best bet, as hard as it is. You'll probly crack and call her or text her sometimes, but try like hell not to. It will NOT help you.

It will make it much harder. No matter what you say to her or she says to you, the pain won't go away. It will almost certainly get worse every time you see her or talk to her.

Good luck man. Hang in there, just keep hanging in there. The longer you tough it out (and the busier you keep yourself) the easier it'll get and the less it'll hurt.

[foxh1234]

Anyone else who's been cheated on, please give me some advice.

 

I feel like I'm going to be sick...

 

Should I continue with the "no contact" thing even though I know she's cheated on me while we were still together?

 

I don't know what to do with myself...

 

Should I send her an e-mail telling her how screwed up that is and how she really made me feel? How much it truly hurts to be betrayed like that?

 

Or should I just keep going with "no contact".

 

At this point, I don't want her back, I don't know if you can forgive someone for cheating on you, can you?

 

God damn, I can't get the picture of my gf and another dude hooking up, out of my head.

 

How do you get over that? Anyone?

 

Hi way, I know how you feel man. I have been there. My ex cheated on me for months before dumping me. All you can do now is keep real busy, workout, read, wtch dvd's, do whatever you can to keep your mind occupied. Maintain strict no contact and consider her gone for good. In my case, I wanted her back more than anything in the beginning but as time went on I realized that if she loved me like I thought she did, she would never have cheated. The girl I loved was not the same girl any longer. IMO, once someone has cheated on you, it is a deal breaker.

 

My ex came back around after a fewmonths when her new bf never worked out. Too much had happened for me to consider taking her back and as hard as it was to tell her I didn't want her back, it was the right thing for me. I could never trust her again and without trust you have nothing. I think you are feeling alot of the same things and I feel for you. Do not send her any emails, and do not call. Disappear and let her know that her actions have cost her.

 

It has been 6 months for me andI'm here to tell you it does get better. I feel like a new man and everyday it gets easier and easier. Good luck and pm me anytime if you have questions or need to vent.

[wayfaerer1]

Thanks guys.

 

The only thing at all that keeps me going is that I know I'm a better person than she is - that I actually have a soul and care about how my actions may effect another person.

[baby-boo]

i recently found out that all through my relationship with my ex he was cheating on me from start to finish. and this isnt just kissin - he went all the way, with more than one person

 

i used to still think about him and cling to the years of memories we had together.

 

But it was all a lie, knowing he cheated helps me forget him.

 

In my opinion you will never be albe to love or trust your girlfiend the way you used to after what she has done, you will always worry that she does it again.

 

My ex said after he had done it once, he just couldnt stop.

 

You can either move on, and get over her, which trust me, it doesnt feel possible but you WILL get over her

 

OR

 

you can stay with her and try to forgive her. Some people can change, but in my opinion, Its not worth staying with them to find out after they've already hurt you so bad.

 

i hope this helps

[wayfaerer1]

Yeah it does help - thanks for the advice.

 

The thing is, we already broke up, she dumped me essentially, and it's been almost 3 weeks now since our break up. And it's been a week since I last talked to her in any way.

 

It's just ridiculous because it's bad enough I have to get over a broken heart, but now I have to think about what she did to me behind my back while we were together.

 

Like I said before - I've never been betrayed this way in my entire life - And betrayal burns like a million suns inside my body.

 

I just don't know how to stop thinking about it - It's eating me up inside.

[baby-boo]

Yeah it does help - thanks for the advice.

 

The thing is, we already broke up, she dumped me essentially, and it's been almost 3 weeks now since our break up. And it's been a week since I last talked to her in any way.

 

It's just ridiculous because it's bad enough I have to get over a broken heart, but now I have to think about what she did to me behind my back while we were together.

 

Like I said before - I've never been betrayed this way in my entire life - And betrayal burns like a million suns inside my body.

 

I just don't know how to stop thinking about it - It's eating me up inside.

 

god tell me about it. All this time i loved someone who was sleeping with other girls behind my back, years of being together it was all just a joke. it hurts cos she's not who you thought she was.

 

Time is all that will help you now.

 

You just have to accept that she cheated on you, and for what ever reason what happened happened. It makes u feel physically sick, but thats life.

 

In time you will realise u deserve better, and you will get better.

[EmperorR]

Some people r weak n fall into temptation, I used to judge people etc. But how can I, I always use this if I went away for a week n there was this hot girl Interetex in me and I am seeing her every day would I be strong enough I can't say. Go read the infidelity forum at least your not married wiTh a few kids n she cheated. And if she ever comes back not only do u have to forgive u have to forget.

[wayfaerer1]

It's been tough enough just dealing with a broken heart, but now that I have a steak knife jammed into my back, I don't know how I'm ever going to be to clear my head.

 

I can't stop thinking about it - it's torturing me.

 

If I try to block it out of my mind, will I ever stop thinking about it one day?

 

Or do I have to tackle this head on and just let it take over my thoughts?

 

It hurts so bad to think about it - whenever I think of her cheating my body literally goes numb and I feel like collapsing.

 

I never knew how bad betrayal hurt until now - ugh...I can't even function.

 

I'm at work and I'm going crazy.

[northstar1]

It's been tough enough just dealing with a broken heart, but now that I have a steak knife jammed into my back, I don't know how I'm ever going to be to clear my head.

 

I can't stop thinking about it - it's torturing me.

 

If I try to block it out of my mind, will I ever stop thinking about it one day?

 

Or do I have to tackle this head on and just let it take over my thoughts?

 

It hurts so bad to think about it - whenever I think of her cheating my body literally goes numb and I feel like collapsing.

 

I never knew how bad betrayal hurt until now - ugh...I can't even function.

 

I'm at work and I'm going crazy.

 

Can you plans something social for tonight/tomorrow? Go out to a concert or, go for drinks with friends? Go for a run? Do anything that will get you out of the house and busy.

[norajane]

But, she cheated on me before she broke up with me - kissed another guy at the bar, which is what she said made her realize, "red flag, I need re-evaluate where I am."

 

She was probably already detaching from you before the kiss, or already had some misgivings about your relationship, but perhaps was in a bit of denial about it herself. So when she met this guy in the bar and she found herself allowing the kiss, she realized there was clearly something that didn't feel right about your relationship. If everything had been just swell all along, she would not have allowed the kiss.

 

Lucky for you, she had enough integrity to break up with you right away. Like the others who have posted here, she could very easily have continued seeing you while starting an affair with this other guy. But she didn't. She took that kiss as a wake-up call and realized she couldn't be with you.

 

Does that make it hurt less? No. But she's not quite the monster she could have been. She did the right thing in the end instead of playing you.

 

Time is really the only thing that helps. Stay away from her. You have nothing to gain through contact. The relationship was dead or dying by the time that kiss happened.

[wayfaerer1]

She was probably already detaching from you before the kiss, or already had some misgivings about your relationship, but perhaps was in a bit of denial about it herself. So when she met this guy in the bar and she found herself allowing the kiss, she realized there was clearly something that didn't feel right about your relationship. If everything had been just swell all along, she would not have allowed the kiss.

 

Lucky for you, she had enough integrity to break up with you right away. Like the others who have posted here, she could very easily have continued seeing you while starting an affair with this other guy. But she didn't. She took that kiss as a wake-up call and realized she couldn't be with you.

 

Does that make it hurt less? No. But she's not quite the monster she could have been. She did the right thing in the end instead of playing you.

 

Time is really the only thing that helps. Stay away from her. You have nothing to gain through contact. The relationship was dead or dying by the time that kiss happened.

 

You're right - I mean, she said she was confused, but there is absolutely no reason to cheat, and to me it's the ultimate betrayal.

 

But what you said is true, she wouldn't have done it if she was perfectly happy with things. I think she was happy with things, but not enough.

 

It really doesn't matter now, it happened and its over - I need to do my best to move on, but the pain is dragging me down.

[wayfaerer1]

I wish I had a taser attached to me so that everytime I picture my ex cheating on me, I'd get zapped.

 

I wonder if she feels any remorse for what she did...

 

I can't take this anymore...I can't stop thinking about it.

 

I get this lifeless sensation in my body when I think about it and I just feel so terrible...

 

I didn't deserve this at all...

 

The thing is, I never got a chance to tell her how screwed up that is and how it really made me feel, because it's just hitting me now, and I'm in the midst of "no contact."

 

But I so want to tell her how much of a heart of stone she has for what she did...

 

I need to breakdown...

[baby-boo]

yes, you will stop thinking about it.

 

but dont try and get over it too fast, give your self time to grieve.

 

By all means you can cry, its good to let it out, especially if you have someones shoulder to cry on.

 

just make sure it doesnt go on forever. You cant go onlike this forever xxx

[wayfaerer1]

I feel like the only thing that would take away some of the pain is just to have fun with other girls - except I haven't been involved in the dating scene in over 4 years.

 

So, as much as I'd like to, I feel so behind, plus I've gained weight since I was with my ex for so long.

 

I don't think I'm ready for the dating scene yet, but it drives me nuts because I know that's what she's doing right now.

[Jono]

Give yourself some time to get over her man.

Try to take it easy on yourself.

It'll get easier, it will. It seems hard to believe, but you'll deal with this, it'll make you stronger. You'll get another girl soon enough, just try to chill out if you can. Try going to the gym, I went about 5 times a week, helped me alot.

[daphne]

Wayfarer,

 

You will get over this, I promise you. It's just time. In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself and I think you need to hit the gym and start working out. It'll help in two ways. You'll keep your endorphins up and it'll help ease the depression. That's the primary goal until you start to forget her. It'll also boost your confidence to lose some of the weight you gained during the relationship. You'll need confidence for when you're ready to get back out there. Don't try it now. It'll just de4press you when you realize it's hard to find a good one and you'll start thinking about her as if she were perfect, when she clearly was not.

 

Work out and try to stay busy. Clean up, take care of your finances, play racquet sports, whatever floats your boat and keeps you occupied for a while. And then do something else.

 

As for your ex not realizing how much she's hurt you, I wouldn't bother telling her now. You're already in nc and it's a good place to stay in your situation. If she has no remorse, don't worry. Life experiences have a way of correcting our arrogance when we tread on the feelings of others without caution. We tend to have someone else do the same to us.

 

take care

[ahhhchooo]

How the hell do you get that picture out of your head???

 

The person you felt connected to, you felt was yours and nobody elses, hooking up with someone else?

You have to stop thinking about them I guess.

 

The moment I was aware of a break up, my ex was explaining how she was screwing this new guy, and told me how he came inside of her with no birth control. How's that for a mental image?