LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Dating is so confusing! lol So I met this awesome guy two weeks ago and everything seemed so great! Chemistry + Compatibility - alright, I sound like an Eharmony ad! But yes, we grabbed drinks together the first time we hung out and clicked really well (talked and laughed for hours), and then we caught some baseball games together where our two teams played each other! Kiss was passionate.... We then made plans to go to the movies, dinner, etc. We were supposed to go wine tasting this weekend with another couple who are friends of mine, of course, it turns out they had to cancel, so I told him so and said we could: 1) do it some other time 2) go alone 3) or do something else. He's like, "Oh yeah, we can do it another time, no worries! I did come up with an itinerary for next time!" Then nothing, he doesn't even ask me to hang out with him! So knowing me, and even though it's only been 2 weeks, I just kinda said something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm giving you an out if you're not interested or want to slow it way down, let me know!" I figure this was nice because it didn't place any pressure on him (I wasn't asking to define things, just wanted to see if he wanted to continue at this same pace), but also let him "end" things if he felt that was the thing to do. We had such great momentum that I figure it would go along at that speed. So he tells me I'm over-overthinking things and that I should just let things play itself out! Yeah, that's all f'in nice and great if we were actually hanging out! So my question is, was that a rejection, guy talk for I'm not interested? Or is he keeping his options open and I'm at the bottom of the list? Or is everyone different and is at a different pace? I don't want to be extremes in that I don't want to dismiss a person immediately just because their pace or style of dating is different from mine, but I also don't want to "not get the clue"...and it's hard being objective when your hopes and expectations are involved! Thank you everyone for your insight!!!!
complication Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I don't know, it sounds like he's trying to be cool but sounding stupid in the meantime. I'm a guy, and would have went with you alone if interested.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Hmmmm no calls in 2 weeks? then the standoffish rude response. I say he's not interested and didn't have the balls to take the out when you offered. No games... just sports
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 I don't know, it sounds like he's trying to be cool but sounding stupid in the meantime. I'm a guy, and would have went with you alone if interested. Thank you! That's why I'm leaning towards he's not interested?! But then he got all happy talking about the "list he made"! lol I don't get it! Thanks for your insight!
rod_in_gtown Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Thank you! That's why I'm leaning towards he's not interested?! But then he got all happy talking about the "list he made"! lol I don't get it! Thanks for your insight! We like to feel flattered. In a world when we deal with tons of rejection on a daily basis, a flattering thought is very welcome and many times we can't be non-chalant about it. His other actions suggest that he is not interested.
Green Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 why'd you even call him and tell him about how your friends were no longer comming and then make it an option that you guys wouldn't go??? I mean its not like he's going to show up and be upset that you said your friends were going and then it was just going to be you two... he might have understood it like that was his best option to take, like u were putting it in there in hope he'd cancel for you... maybe thats why he's not interested in u
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 why'd you even call him and tell him about how your friends were no longer comming and then make it an option that you guys wouldn't go??? I mean its not like he's going to show up and be upset that you said your friends were going and then it was just going to be you two... he might have understood it like that was his best option to take, like u were putting it in there in hope he'd cancel for you... maybe thats why he's not interested in u because he was the one who proposed going with four people was the best for wine tasting, so i already had the sense perhaps he wasn't that interested in going alone with me? maybe you're right too! that's what i hate about dating, you NEVER understand what the other person is thinking and then everything comes out so weird and you take things the wrong way and express it the wrong way....oh well....it's been done.... oh yeah, I did kinda realize that afterward and wrote, "we don't HAVE to go wine tasting you know..." and still nothing!
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