My Little Update

[spookie]

It's been a rough week or two.

 

Last Friday I moved into my new apartment. It was raining all day and I had to check out of the hotel before I left for work. So I pulled an all-nighter, trying to get all my garbage out, and after work I drove out there, signed the lease, and got the keys to the place. My neighbors are Catholic Mexicans so there is about a dozen of them in a one-bedroom apartment, and there are kids EVERYWHERE. How am I supposed to sit on the patio and smoke pot?

 

Anyway, then there's been growing chemistry between me and my boss at work. *Sigh*. I am completely in love with this guy and I have to work near him all day, and I think he thinks I'm cute too and I KNOW he's impressed with my smartness, so it's really hot all day. Like being on a really awesome really wonderful date, where you're stoned, doing math. I fcvking love my job.

 

So I broke up with TT on Monday. I thought I'd feel relieved, glad at last to be rid of him. He'd kind of become a burden.

 

But I din't- I felt terrible. I legitimately missed him immediately, and it kept breaking my heart how much I just LOVE him, even if I'm not in love with him, and how painful it'd be to lose someone I cared about that much.

 

So I don't know. We made up. We're going to meet in Iowa, in-between, on Saturday.

 

Is what I'm doing to TT wrong?

 

He took it REALLY badly -completely lost it -when I broke up with him. It hurt me so much to see him that way. And now I feel like I'm leading him on, setting him up for even more pain- even if I know he wants it, wants to see me, is going to move to a different state for me.

 

I'm so confused again. My whole world is upside down, and on top of that I have no friends and am ALL ALONE and I have no one to turn to. And I'm all hung up on my ex - seriously, while all this is going on, I'm just thinking of him all the time. What am I supposed to do right now? I need someone to help me make decisions, cause I'm going crazy right now.

[BlueEyedGirl]

Is your boss single?

[Green]

I love strangers with candy! That sucks that you have the mexican justice league living next door. It usualy takes me six months to make new friends when I move and then bam I have a bunch. I actualy need new friends I'm bored of my current friends

[shadowplay]

Wow, sorry you're feeling down. You have a lot going on.

 

You're "in love with" your boss? Whoa...slow down, Spook! Where did this come from? Are you sure about that? Like in love in love? How old is he? You know it's probably a bad idea to get involved with your boss.

 

Yes, you're leading TT on. I'm confused -- are you guys together or not? If you're not in love with him then there's no point, you have your answer. Don't meet him; that will just give him false hope. Whatever you do don't let him move to another state for you. That's crazy.

 

I know it's cliche but I really think you need to take some time off from guys and make some friends. Notice how fickle your emotions are when it comes to men. This will make any relationship you have impossible at this point. Work on personal growth. You're using guys to meet all of your emotional needs instead of addressing the core problems.

[spookie]

Wow, sorry you're feeling down. You have a lot going on.

 

You're "in love with" your boss? Whoa...slow down, Spook! Where did this come from? Are you sure about that? Like in love in love? How old is he? You know it's probably a bad idea to get involved with your boss.

 

Yes, you're leading TT on. I'm confused -- are you guys together or not? If you're not in love with him then there's no point, you have your answer. Don't meet him; that will just give him false hope. Whatever you do don't let him move to another state for you. That's crazy.

 

I know it's cliche but I really think you need to take some time off from guys and make some friends. Notice how fickle your emotions are when it comes to men. This will make any relationship you have impossible at this point. Work on personal growth. You're using guys to meet all of your emotional needs instead of addressing the core problems.

 

Yah. I completley agree with this.

 

Man I've been going freaking OUT OF MY MIND the past few days. I am so lonely, and I haven't had the internet the last week or so and it's just driving me crazy.

 

My boss... heh. I know not to get involved with him. I know he knows this too - he obviously values with career, and would not throw it away for a woman. But honestly my feelings are the insane kind that aren't tied to reason- I get sweaty talking to him. I can tell he likes me too.

 

In a way I am taking time off guys. TT is so far away there's not really a real relationship there. But I haven't been able to make any friends. The problem is that I'm really in a withdrawn mood. Some people are actually pretty nice to me at work that I bet I could be friends with but I'm back to being insanely superprotective of my mental space, so I've been pushing everyone away. Even as I get more and more lonely.

[Ariadne]

Hey spookie,

 

Count your blessings that you like your boss, at least you'll feel like going to work, get out of bed, look nice etc.

 

Plus, you are good with men, you might even get him.

 

Good luck.

 

And the TT, well, he is gone so not much need for him now. Is better this way.

[BlueEyedGirl]

Oh I remebember when I liked my boss and we had the flirting situation going on, I loved going to work. I would spend hours dressing up, trying to impress him with "my intelligence" at work, I would jump out of bed every morning. Now that that's fizzled out, I hate work and am on verge of quiting all the time. I can barely get out of bed in the mornings and I use every opportunity I have to call in sick or take a day off. I swear that having a crush on the boss WAY increases your productivity.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

My boss is in his late 50s, short, bald, and arrogant. I also work with his penny pinching wife. Have fun, Spookie, for those of us who have no opportunity for flirting fun at our dreary 9-5s!