my body is a cage Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 What am I supposed to make of a guy who never follows through with plans but is always elated to see me? This guy is a Senior at my university and I'm a Sophomore. We dated/ were sort of seeing each other for a while last semester, and even though it seemed like he was really into me and would initiate hanging out a lot, he would also constantly flake out so I moved on. This semester, we hooked up once (first day I was back, actually) and I've run into him a few times. I haven't called him, and he hasn't called me, but every time I see him at a party or whatnot he runs up to me, hugs and kisses me and tells me he "would love to hang out with me." Last time this happened (last thursday) I told him I would call him, but didn't get around to it. I just ran into him a couple of hours ago, and the same thing happened basically... he hugged/kissed me, asked me if I was going out tonight, I said probably, he said he would call me and we would go out together. I HIGHLY doubt he's going to actually call me. I do like this guy, but I'm not going to put in effort to contact him if he isn't going to do the same for me... what gives? Is he just not into me? If so, why even bother pretending that were gonna hang out?
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 This semester, we hooked up once (first day I was back, actually) and I've run into him a few times. I haven't called him, and he hasn't called me, but every time I see him at a party or whatnot he runs up to me, hugs and kisses me and tells me he "would love to hang out with me." Last time this happened (last thursday) I told him I would call him, but didn't get around to it. Forgive me, but the way I read this is (1) you don't have plans for him to not follow through on, and (2) you're the one being flaky. Perhaps your perception of him being flaky NOW is based on how he was in the PAST? Just ask him for a set date-time and get on with it!
rod_in_gtown Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Forgive me, but the way I read this is (1) you don't have plans for him to not follow through on, and (2) you're the one being flaky. Perhaps your perception of him being flaky NOW is based on how he was in the PAST? Just ask him for a set date-time and get on with it! What she said... totally agree. If you like him just call him. don't play games.
Author my body is a cage Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 huh?? haha i mean, we have vague plans for tonight that i strongly anticipate he won't follow through on. largely because they dont really make sense; everyone sees each other at the bars, and since we established were both probably going we'll probably see each other there, and it would be kind of weird to go with someone of the opposite gender anyway. he was VERY flakey last semester so i guess i want him to prove that he really is into me? anyway, when i ran into him today he also very enthusiastically informed me that tomorrow is his birthday. so, if for whatever reason, we dont end up seeing each other/ communicating tonight, ill just call him and wish him happy birthday tomorrow and ask him what he's doing. its just like, he doesnt haaave to SAY hes going to call me if he has no intention of doing so, you know? because that way i stress out about it and then feel bummed when he doesnt actually call me... id rather he be upfront about his intentions instead of saying one thing and doing another.
Author my body is a cage Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 oh and also, i never said WHEN i would call him so i don't think that can be considered flaking out on him (i was planning on possibly calling him this weekend or something)
Dirk Diggler Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 What am I supposed to make of a guy who never follows through with plans but is always elated to see me? You don't make anything of him, because you already know he's not going to follow through even if he knew you felt that way. He's trying hard to convey that he is not that into you, he just does not have the balls to say it himself to you. So he's trying to force your hand into doing what he cannot by making plans then avoiding you.
Star Gazer Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I'm not saying it's your fault, or that you should be called flaky. I just think you should give the guy a break and ask him for set plans...
Author my body is a cage Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 ok, NOW im getting pissed... as expected, no phone call yesterday. about an hour ago, i texted him 'happy birthday!' he responded within two minutes saying 'thanks! sorry i didnt call last night, my friends took me out and things got really crazy... what are you up to tonight?' i saw the text message ten minutes later and responded, 'haha thats ok. im not sure what im doing tonight, what are you doing?' this is 40 minutes ago... no response! this is exactly what he would do last semester, too. he would send me a text message asking me what my plans were, i would respond and ask him what HIS plans were, and then... nothing! SOOO weird.
paddington bear Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I briefly dated a guy like this. He would call me, make plans for the weekend, go into great detail about what the date would involve and I'd be thinking 'oh that sounds really lovely'. He would then say 'I'll ring you on Thursday to confirm'. Wouldn't ring on Thurs or Fri, so I would ring him and then he would either cancel or be too busy. I dumped him. He couldn't even do that properly. I said by sms at the final flakey date that he didn't turn up to 'Since you obviously don't want to go out with me and are too cowardly to break up with me, I'm doing it for you'. He just wasn't that into me and I'm afraid to say that this guy likes you, but isn't thinking of you in terms of a girlfriend otherwise there's no way he wouldn't invite you to his birthday party. Sorry.
kitty23 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Shane 101 take it from my experience Half not all but Hlaf the people on here have got itty bitty short attention spans to go with itty bitty brains Now before i get ripped on NOT the good contributors they will listen to what you have to say long as you aint a mark or a troll you are obviously neither. I agree the WWF/WWE screwed Bret over REAL GOOD but I have always thought Vince was a poor substitute for a human being for LOTS of Reasons of which the Montreal Screw Job is just one tiny fraction. So Basically I agree with you 110% easy 10 points huh?
Author my body is a cage Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 I'm afraid to say that this guy likes you, but isn't thinking of you in terms of a girlfriend otherwise there's no way he wouldn't invite you to his birthday party. Sorry. Yeah I mean, this is probably true. He didnt have a birthday party though... he came to a party I was at, actually, and I talked to him briefly there. Whatever, so over it.
Recommended Posts