Tomcat33 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Then, I know guys, well-off middle-age types, who splurge on their first Match dates (300 dollar dinners at fancy restaurants) in an attempt to impress and bed these first dates. I KNOW!!! I was on Date.ca many years ago when I did internet dating and so many guys wanted to do that take me out to dinner dates on first meeting. I NEVER accepted I thought that was the most foolish thing a guy could do, I mean why do that when you don't even know if you will like each other so why spend all that money on someone you have not even seen or seen you before? Too much commitment too soon and then it would be even WORSE to reject a guy after he spent all that money on me, eeek I would hate to have to do that. And if it didn't happen for him on his end then why spend that money on me? I don't get that, just because men are willing to do that I don't feel right taking advantage of that. But I met my exboyfriend off that site, a British hottie and that happens once in a lifetime. I was contemplating POF a year ago since people kept telling me it's where it's at but took one look at that shiithole and said "no thanks not for me" POF is so depressing sorry...I can't stress that enough. What can I say you get what you pay for.
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I KNOW!!! I was on Date.ca many years ago when I did internet dating and so many guys wanted to do that take me out to dinner dates on first meeting. I NEVER accepted I thought that was the most foolish thing a guy could do, I mean why do that when you don't even know if you will like each other so why spend all that money on someone you have not even seen or seen you before? Too much commitment too soon and then it would be even WORSE to reject a guy after he spent all that money on me, eeek I would hate to have to do that. And if it didn't happen for him on his end then why spend that money on me? I don't get that, just because men are willing to do that I don't feel right taking advantage of that. But I met my exboyfriend off that site, a British hottie and that happens once in a lifetime. I was contemplating POF a year ago since people kept telling me it's where it's at but took one look at that shiithole and said "no thanks not for me" POF is so depressing sorry...I can't stress that enough. What can I say you get what you pay for. I met my ex-GF off Match, and we lasted 2 years. It was my best sexual relationship--ever. We had Chemistry to spare. TC, what's "POF"?
Terminator Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 My ex GF, when she dated online, drove from Philly to NYC to meet a Match date guy. He was smart, funny, nice face, the whole package. She arrives in NYC, meets him and sees that the dude is morbidly obese. He had cropped his online photos and lied about his weight and build in his Profile. It turns out that the dude was cheap too: they had lunch at the bus terminal. Caveat emptor. Was the guy upset she couldn't "get past" his appearance? Did he call her "shallow" for caring LOL (that's usually how it goes)
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 TC, what's "POF"? Plenty Of Fish... it is a free dating website
Tomcat33 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I met my ex-GF off Match, and we lasted 2 years. It was my best sexual relationship--ever. We had Chemistry to spare. TC, what's "POF"? I hear you! My ex and I were pretty good too but it was the wrong time for me, and he was a little to introvereted for my liking I realised I could not be with someone introverted for the long haul so I had to jump ship but he was awesome in every other way, sex was amazing too Then again sex was amazing with my extroverted ex's too so if I have a choice... POF is Plenty Of Freeloading losers
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Thanks for clarifying the acronym "POF," guys. I'm not dating online, now, but if I return I'll avoid that site. I'm in a downtime mode, anyway.
Terminator Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I hear you! My ex and I were pretty good too but it was the wrong time for me, and he was a little to introvereted for my liking I realised I could not be with someone introverted for the long haul so I had to jump ship but he was awesome in every other way, sex was amazing too Then again sex was amazing with my extroverted ex's too so if I have a choice... POF is Plenty Of Freeloading losers TC33, that's a little like saying only losers buy from craigslist. That may have been your experience, but that doesn't mean it's true.
Author Bells Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 Well if your only physical attraction criteria is height and weight I guess so, but that would not work for me. I can't tell you all of the specific things about a persons looks that make them attractive to me. I am sure many women I find unattractive others find very attractive and vis versa. What I do know is looking at a few pictures gives me an idea whether I can be physically attracted to someone and thus be willing to invest the time contacting them and eventually meeting them. FLC - I wanted to add a bit more to what I said. First of all, I have been told that I'm unique in the fact that I does not take much for me to be PHYSICALLY attracted. If she's even moderately cute, nice little figure....and guess what, I don't care much about the face actually, lol. I've been attracted to women who had big noses too. I just need to know that she doesn't weigh signifantly more than I do. And I'm pretty much satisfied. You'd be suprised how some women I contacted that I showed to other male friend that wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole...that showed they were more shallow than I was. And THESE women weren't much to write home about (according to my friends) but guess what I was STILL rejected. lol
Tomcat33 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 TC33, that's a little like saying only losers buy from craigslist. That may have been your experience, but that doesn't mean it's true. I know what you are saying but I haven't tried POF so it's not even my experience :laugh: I found some great freelance gigs that I do on the side, through CG I would never knock CG for that, but I would for finding dates. Again it's all in what your personal perception is. It's a little different to compare buying products online to mate selection, no? I could never use a place like CG to meet men, as I could not use POF based on what I see and on my perception of the place. Online dating is like that, you decide whether to join a place based on what it looks like overall, and overall POF looks to me like LOSERVILLE. Anyway I think online dating is brutal all around but that's another story..
Terminator Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I know what you are saying but I haven't tried POF so it's not even my experience :laugh: I found some great freelance gigs that I do on the side, through CG I would never knock CG for that, but I would for finding dates. Again it's all in what your personal perception is. It's a little different to compare buying products online to mate selection, no? I could never use a place like CG to meet men, as I could not use POF based on what I see and on my perception of the place. Online dating is like that, you decide whether to join a place based on what it looks like overall, and overall POF looks to me like LOSERVILLE. Anyway I think online dating is brutal all around but that's another story.. I said BUY from craigslist - not find potential dates there LMAO So tell me TC33 - if you've never USED a site how can you TELL someone to "avoid it they're all freeloader losers"? Are you psychic ?
CaliGuy Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 "I believe that physical attraction is key in a relationship...doesn't matter how much you have in common...if you aren't attracted to one another, it will never work." Dang, you can have all that you have in common, same moreals, same values, same political views, same exact hobbies, GREAT personality........BUT....... it'll never work. Gentleman, when you see this in an ad, do you bother contacting them anyways? I sometimes opt not to email them, for that reason...depending on my mood...what about you? It's in my profile. Doesn't matter how much you have in common, morals, values, political views, hobbies, etc. If there is no physical attraction/chemistry, it won't work.
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I know what you are saying but I haven't tried POF so it's not even my experience :laugh: I found some great freelance gigs that I do on the side, through CG I would never knock CG for that, but I would for finding dates. Again it's all in what your personal perception is. It's a little different to compare buying products online to mate selection, no? I could never use a place like CG to meet men, as I could not use POF based on what I see and on my perception of the place. Online dating is like that, you decide whether to join a place based on what it looks like overall, and overall POF looks to me like LOSERVILLE. Anyway I think online dating is brutal all around but that's another story.. I hear you, TC. When I broke up with my GF I returned to Match after a decent interval. It was too soon. I was bombarded with winks and e-mails from very nice middle-aged women. But I was dead to the whole process. After a couple weeks, I jumped off. I felt guilty in failing to respond when my failure was due to my issues and not the women. I wasn't being fair to them. For many of these women, they either get played or ignored, online. So now I'm free of online dating. A good night at home is better than a bad night out.
IrishCarBomb Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 So if attraction is so important, why is the guy who breaks up with his girlfriend after she gains 25 pounds an a**hole? Same for the woman who breaks up with the guy after getting fat/going bald/etc? These people lost the attraction that is so key to the relationship, so they left. If this sort of behavior is unacceptable, does attraction only matter in the beginning?
djhall Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 So if attraction is so important, why is the guy who breaks up with his girlfriend after she gains 25 pounds an a**hole? Same for the woman who breaks up with the guy after getting fat/going bald/etc? These people lost the attraction that is so key to the relationship, so they left. If this sort of behavior is unacceptable, does attraction only matter in the beginning? Uh, oh... you went there! The politically correct line is, "Once you get to know the person and love them for who they are, you should find them, the person, beautiful and attractive regardless of their physical appearance."
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Uh, oh... you went there! The politically correct line is, "Once you get to know the person and love them for who they are, you should find them, the person, beautiful and attractive regardless of their physical appearance." If only life were that easy. A cold hard fact: one can fall out of love, like and attraction with someone because of a dramatic change in appearance. If attraction matters at the inception of a relationship, it matters at the end. Love is not politically correct.
Author Bells Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 Thing is back in the good ol days of dating, you always saw even very attracative women dating shorter, and/or men with male pattern baldness all the time. Back in those days, women didn't care about looks.....men have always been visual creatures, so I guess women are trying to catch up with the men in that regards. Thing is, women have always been concerned about their own appearance....(why do y ou think they invented make up?) lol They want to look good for their man (or wanted). They were actually sustaining the whole "men are visual" behaviour.
Shygirl15 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 BTW, I think E-Harmony just stole my money. Either that or I don't know how to use the website. Looks like I can't search for people, and all I have to do is sit tight waiting for them to send my "matches" to me? Has anybody here used EH before?
CaliGuy Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 BTW, I think E-Harmony just stole my money. Either that or I don't know how to use the website. Looks like I can't search for people, and all I have to do is sit tight waiting for them to send my "matches" to me? Has anybody here used EH before? Once and never again. I had to go through 15,000 hoops just to talk to someone and my attention span wasn't going to stand for it. I use a free site which to me is working much better. At least I'm not sitting there answering questionnaire after questionnaire. I don't need a dating site to TELL me who my match is, I just use them to find people I might be interested in. The dates (and subsequent dating) will tell me who my match is. lol.
Shygirl15 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I know, it's just simply annoying. Which site is that you're using Cali? Wow, I had the impression EH would be more easier and classier, I mean it's extremely expensive.
Tomcat33 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I am just going to say one thing about e-harmony. In a time where the economy is flailing and even on the down, e-harmony still manges to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on advertising campaigns. Do the math folks. It's a dating site afterall not a manufacturer of food or cars. The questionaire alone seemed SO annoying I don't know how you people had the patience to get through that?
Tomcat33 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I said BUY from craigslist - not find potential dates there LMAO So tell me TC33 - if you've never USED a site how can you TELL someone to "avoid it they're all freeloader losers"? Are you psychic ? Ohhhh woops I don't know what I read yesterday my apologies!! :laugh: I see what you are saying but a dating site is a little different I would decide if I want to join a site given the types of men that I saw in profiles. That would be the deciding factor for me. It's like you see a strip of bars and they all pretty much play the same type of music and the same atmosphere, would go into the bar that has the most amount of good looking people who seem to be having fun or would you choose the bar that has 5 or 10 down looking folks who are barely making conversation and staring at a tv screen? The choice is obvious, no? Well to me it is...maybe we differ. When I see a site where the majority of men on there respond a certain way in the questionaire I can pretty much asses the type of site it is and what it caters to. Plus it's free, how much effort do you think these people are really putting into making a solid connection? Women are prob there for meal tickets or dinner dates, afterall all they need to do is sit back and let the 100's of emails pour in, and men a good majority of them are either seperated or looking for a fling after a long term rel/marriage, or even married posing as seperated or single or men that are forever single and just want long term email buddies (I have g/f that is on there and have seen this pattern) . To me that seems like loserville, there is no fee no commitment in terms of having to sign up with a credit card etc. so ANYONE can be on there, anyTHING can be on there. I have seen crossdresser profiles looking for "open minded" women. God bless the cross dressers but what the hell do I have to do on a site where men in heels and skirts are looking for "open minded" women? NOTHING.
Shygirl15 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 The questionaire alone seemed SO annoying I don't know how you people had the patience to get through that? I know, right. It took me 3 months to finish it. Today I tried to search for matches, and the system took about 10 minutes to come up with this: "Our matching system was not able to find any new matches for you right now. However, we are always automatically searching for new matches for you. Several thousand people join eHarmony each day and our matching system evaluates each one of them within 24 hours to see if they are a great match for you". How sweet!
Tomcat33 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I know, right. It took me 3 months to finish it. Today I tried to search for matches, and the system took about 10 minutes to come up with this: "Our matching system was not able to find any new matches for you right now. However, we are always automatically searching for new matches for you. Several thousand people join eHarmony each day and our matching system evaluates each one of them within 24 hours to see if they are a great match for you". How sweet! Ok that would TOTALLY annoy me, meanwhile your money is being sucked away from you while the system takes its gay old time getting your one match. I had a coworker friend who did e-harmony prob 1.5yr ago she would tell me that a lot of the matches she couldn't even see pictures of the guys, is that true? If so BUUUUUUUUUUUUUHBYE!!! Shygirl at this rate by the time you are 40 they may find your "perfect" match. What do they charge per month if you don't mind me asking?
Shygirl15 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 Shygirl at this rate by the time you are 40 they may find your "perfect" match. What do they charge per month if you don't mind me asking? I'm in so much pain as I say this, but I just got ripped off $60 for just one month! I feel like a desperate fool
Tomcat33 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I'm in so much pain as I say this, but I just got ripped off $60 for just one month! I feel like a desperate fool Noooo don't think like that, look it's a trial right? You don't know until you try. They prey on people's need to find love, and we all have that need some of us wanted more than others and so they know what they are doing don't feel bad. You have to look at it like this, it's like a night out or two you would spend that out in dinner and drinks anyway so what the heck!! Don't feel bad. That is steep though if you have to pay that every month considering how slow the system is just doesn't seem feasible. But they are so top secret about how the site works and all you see are these great ads so you are tempted to find out what's there so I don't blame you. You know all those porn sites that charge 1.99 for a three day trial or what have you THAT'S how they make their money, if they can catch people like that they can make tons of cash because unless people check their statement and cancel the membership it jumps to the regular price after the three days. Well in publishing they do much of the same with magazine subscriptions that automatically renew, those 1.99 per month can go a long way with those people that never check their bills... eharmony says they are Christian and all that crap but upfront and upmost they are a BUSINESS, don't forget that. How long have you been on there for? Three months I would say is a fair go at it if you can afford it and if it is at least producing one or two matches every so many days.
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