Bells Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 "I believe that physical attraction is key in a relationship...doesn't matter how much you have in common...if you aren't attracted to one another, it will never work." Dang, you can have all that you have in common, same moreals, same values, same political views, same exact hobbies, GREAT personality........BUT....... it'll never work. Gentleman, when you see this in an ad, do you bother contacting them anyways? I sometimes opt not to email them, for that reason...depending on my mood...what about you?
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Would you want to be with a woman who's not physically attracted to you?
Author Bells Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Would you want to be with a woman who's not physically attracted to you? Considering how the media portrays how "Everyone you should date SHOULD be good looking"....they might want to reconsider. I mean, I think women or men are attracted to some people, but hte problem is, they probably think they could do better.
vonerik012 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Can you post some profiles that illustrate this? LOL kidding.. I think many of these women do have a VERY wide range of men contacting them, many very low on the looks scale. Some turn into stalkers, etc. Of course, looks matter.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 In the profile your described, the woman is saying that the two people in the relationship need to be attracted to one another. I'm fairly certain most people on earth would agree that in order to have a successful relationship, you need to be attracted to your partner and vice versa. What she's not saying is that the person she dates needs to be universally attractive. She's not saying "You need to be attractive or it will never work." That's the way you're reading it, but I don't think that's what she means at all.
Jilly Bean Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Can you post some profiles that illustrate this? LOL kidding.. LOL - do NOT encourage him! Hiitsme - you really need to get offline for a while. You seem to spend way too much time perplexed and confused about OLD and profiles. Give it a rest for a while.
Isolde Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 This bothers me not because it's untrue but because it's blatantly obvious, not to mention a completely unoriginal thing to say.
Author Bells Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 This bothers me not because it's untrue but because it's blatantly obvious, not to mention a completely unoriginal thing to say. Yeah, someone calling it "The KEY" to the relationship is really OUT THERE. lol
zxcirce Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 So, Hiitsme/Bells, you're saying what here? Do you date people you find physically repulsive? If not, why should all those mean evil materialistic women?
LoveLace Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I disagree that attraction is KEY to a relationship. It's only what gets a relationship started, usually. It would make more sense to say "Attraction is important to have between both people, but the kind of guy I'd date would also be _________....." Basically it means there has to be a mutual good 1st impression, which is normally how you see each other physically. It's common sense if you ask me so I don't know why bother to put in a profile to begin with. Obviously, you wont be interested in getting to know someone if you don't feel some kind of attraction very early on.
vonerik012 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Well what the girl is saying in the OP's post is accurate. Bells, try this.. Talk to a girl for a while online, and do not look at her photo. Do not let her see your photo. Since we are all human living in the same culture, you would be surprised at how much we all have in common. That is really not that hard to find. Then meet her. What do you think are the chances you will be attracted to her? Probably very low. I talked to one girl online for 2 months and we had EVERYTHING in common, met her, and within 5 seconds KNEW I had no attraction.
LoveLace Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Well what the girl is saying in the OP's post is accurate. Bells, try this.. Talk to a girl for a while online, and do not look at her photo. Do not let her see your photo. Since we are all human living in the same culture, you would be surprised at how much we all have in common. That is really not that hard to find. Then meet her. What do you think are the chances you will be attracted to her? Probably very low. I talked to one girl online for 2 months and we had EVERYTHING in common, met her, and within 5 seconds KNEW I had no attraction. Happens all the time. It's definitely happened to myself. Cuz there are many, many people we can find we have things in common with, and talk well with. But if attraction isn't there, you don't feel there is anything to build on, hence those we have things in common with are "friend" material. Relationship material means sex, and you don't want to be physical with someone that is not attractive to you, right? Attraction is one of those things that makes people want to see each other over and over, and keep the relationship flirty and romantic.
flc Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 This bothers me not because it's untrue but because it's blatantly obvious, not to mention a completely unoriginal thing to say. Agreed this is so obvious it should not even be stated. Bells how about you just date women with no pictures in their profile and let us know how that works for you?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Well what the girl is saying in the OP's post is accurate. Bells, try this.. Talk to a girl for a while online, and do not look at her photo. Do not let her see your photo. Since we are all human living in the same culture, you would be surprised at how much we all have in common. That is really not that hard to find. Then meet her. What do you think are the chances you will be attracted to her? Probably very low. I talked to one girl online for 2 months and we had EVERYTHING in common, met her, and within 5 seconds KNEW I had no attraction. That's why online dating sux!
Author Bells Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 Agreed this is so obvious it should not even be stated. Bells how about you just date women with no pictures in their profile and let us know how that works for you? Actually, back in the 90's that worked out pretty well....when emailing back and forth I'd get height and weight, of course I would tell them my ht. and weight too....and if her weight and ht. seemed satisfactory, I'd meet them in person.
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 If I were dating online, and I'm not, I would not find that profile offputting. The profiler is just telling it the way it is. I would also infer that the person is confident about her appearance and telegraphing that any guy contacting her better be as confident. This is online dating: you have to be able to seaparte the wheat from the chaff as early as possible.
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 If I were dating online, and I'm not, I would not find that profile offputting. The profiler is just telling it the way it is. I would also infer that the person is confident about her appearance and telegraphing that any guy contacting her better be as confident. This is online dating: you have to be able to seaparte the wheat from the chaff as early as possible. I agree... I have been bitten a few times when I was dating where I had spent too much time talking to a girl on the phone when she had no pictures and then when you meet there is no physical attraction... I'm not saying she was ugly or disfigured but just not physically appealing to me or I to her.... You have to see a person's picture/image first and foremost before things can move forward...
Shygirl15 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 lol.. A friend of mine drove 3hrs from DC to Philadephia to meet a woman he has been talking with online for about 1 month whom they had "deep connection" only to find out she had fabricated everything about herself in terms of looks! That was the end of it.
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 My ex GF, when she dated online, drove from Philly to NYC to meet a Match date guy. He was smart, funny, nice face, the whole package. She arrives in NYC, meets him and sees that the dude is morbidly obese. He had cropped his online photos and lied about his weight and build in his Profile. It turns out that the dude was cheap too: they had lunch at the bus terminal. Caveat emptor.
Shygirl15 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Physical attraction is very important, which is why people go as far as fabricating things about their looks or hide certain things so that they appear more attractive to the other person. Not sure why people do this because eventually when the two get to meet in person, the reality will come out anyway.
flc Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Actually, back in the 90's that worked out pretty well....when emailing back and forth I'd get height and weight, of course I would tell them my ht. and weight too....and if her weight and ht. seemed satisfactory, I'd meet them in person. Well if your only physical attraction criteria is height and weight I guess so, but that would not work for me. I can't tell you all of the specific things about a persons looks that make them attractive to me. I am sure many women I find unattractive others find very attractive and vis versa. What I do know is looking at a few pictures gives me an idea whether I can be physically attracted to someone and thus be willing to invest the time contacting them and eventually meeting them.
Tomcat33 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 lol.. A friend of mine drove 3hrs from DC to Philadephia to meet a woman he has been talking with online for about 1 month whom they had "deep connection" only to find out she had fabricated everything about herself in terms of looks! That was the end of it. I know, have read pathetic stories like that all the time. Who said internet dating sucks? You are right internet dating DOES suck, physical attraction is the bottom line everything else parts from there. You can make yourself as compatible to someone that really turns your crank visually and yet it can't be done the other way around, it's that simple really. I could NEVER be with a guy that I don't find physically attractive on some level and right from the get-go. People who tell themselves that can end up 10 yrs down the line complaining that they love their partners like their friend, but were never "in love" with them. No kidding, they tried to make attraction based on good qualities for friendship.
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 they had lunch at the bus terminal. hahaha... I met a girl from match once that I had never seen pictures of for lunch near her job.. at the cafeteria of the YWCA.. hahaha...
grogster Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 hahaha... I met a girl from match once that I had never seen pictures of for lunch near her job.. at the cafeteria of the YWCA.. hahaha... Dude, that's cold. The Y definitely beats the Port Authority Bus Station. Then, I know guys, well-off middle-age types, who splurge on their first Match dates (300 dollar dinners at fancy restaurants) in an attempt to impress and bed these first dates. Their subliminal message: I'm no longer young, virile and attractive but I have dough to blow, so let's play. When I dated online, I took the Buddhist middle way: neither cheap nor extravagant. I'm curious, AC, why did you date women without photos?
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Dude, that's cold. The Y definitely beats the Port Authority Bus Station. Then, I know guys, well-off middle-age types, who splurge on their first Match dates (300 dollar dinners at fancy restaurants) in an attempt to impress and bed these first dates. Their subliminal message: I'm no longer young, virile and attractive but I have dough to blow, so let's play. When I dated online, I took the Buddhist middle way: neither cheap nor extravagant. I'm curious, AC, why did you date women without photos? I'm not that bad.. She picked the place.. it was near where she worked and she used to eat there all the time... I have only dated a handful of women without pictures.. for the most part there all were downers and I learned my lesson.. I did date a smoking hottie for about 5 months.. I had never seen her picture before our first date at Houston's....
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