Dazed_Animal Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 My gf of 2 years broke up with me a couple days ago and it's hurting like hell. I really want her back so I spoke to her last night and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime next week and she said yes. I know she still loves me and I'm pretty certian she didnt want to break up, shes been petty stressed lately with uni and I guess I havent been much help with an argument I started the night we broke up. What should I do? shes the love of my life so I really dont want to lose her without a fight...
nopainnogain Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Best thing you can do is let her go or you will lose her forever.
Author Dazed_Animal Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 and just give up? no thanks. We have been through a lot together and I'm not ready to just quit now, I'm not gonna push her or anything but I'm not gonna stop trying to win her back. If you're not going to give me some real advice then I'd recommend not posting here.
wareagle Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 If you don't like the answers you find here I suggest YOU post somewhere else!! The people on here are wise, been through alot and know what they are talking about! Nopainagain is right on the money!! You are going to do nothing but push her away! My advice to you is to listen to people on this board or you will endure alot more heartache than you are feeling now!!!
Author Dazed_Animal Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 So you're saying it's impossible to win someone back or it's not worth it?
wareagle Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Give us some more details of why she dumped you and maybe we can give you some advice. Read over some of the posts here on the board. You may find a similiar situation as yours.
LoveLace Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 She must have broken up with you for a reason. Weather or not you have a chance to get her back, probably depends on that. If there's nothing to indicate she wants to go again, it's a waste of your time. If she says she needs space, you'd best give her that. By all means, do not do anything that resemebles "begging"- huge turn-off.
Author Dazed_Animal Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 She didnt really seem 2 sure herself, but I think it was coz shes been stressing out quite a lot lately over exams at uni and we had an arguement the night we broke up so that prolly didnt help. She still wants me to come see her and go out and she told me shes still in love with me so I dont know if she just wants to be friends or wants a break. I'm sorry for being rude earlier but i'm quite upset atm and it's hard ontrolling my emotions.
LoveLace Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 She didnt really seem 2 sure herself, but I think it was coz shes been stressing out quite a lot lately over exams at uni and we had an arguement the night we broke up so that prolly didnt help. She still wants me to come see her and go out and she told me shes still in love with me so I dont know if she just wants to be friends or wants a break. I'm sorry for being rude earlier but i'm quite upset atm and it's hard ontrolling my emotions. Well in that case, the two of you probably just need to sit and have a talk, ultimately deciding weather or not to get back together..but it has to be what you BOTH want, if she says she doesn't want that, you'll have to let it go. But you can't just break up with someone just because you are "stressed", that's unfair and if it was a valid to reason to break up, people would be breaking up daily. So she either made rash decision in a heated moment, or she's not telling you something.
Intergalactic Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 seriously dude, just leave her alone. when my ex broke up with me, he didn't "seem too sure", and he wasn't. he cried, he begged me to stay close friends, and after two FULL days of talking about it, we still hadn't come to an official "we are broken up" stage. he came over and kissed me and we would have sleepovers with cuddling and touching months after breaking up. in the end, it was my constant hanging around and dropping hints and begging about getting back together which has pretty much ruined our relationship for the moment. instead of backing away gracefully and saying "thanks but no thanks" to being friends at that stage, i thought i could "win" him back by being charming and pretty and flirty. it doesn't work like that. he broke up with me for a reason, and your girlfriend did too. stay away from her, if she says she wants to try again, take it from there. and remember: "i miss you" DOESN'T MEAN "i want to try again with you"
WiseOne1 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 On LoveShack your going to get alot of advice you dont like. Sooner or later your going to start getting the NC = No Contact advice, just to leave her alone. Now NC rarely ever ever works to bring a ex back. If you look at the past threads of this website NC alone with nothing else, has only brought a ex back a couple of times. Maybe 5 times out of 5,000 so its thats rare. Now right now your thinking that there must be a way to make her want you again, NO, there isnt, she must make that decision on her own, alot of people on this board have been thru the same sistuation, some of us over and over. And when someone says its because of stress, its a lie! Seriously people would be breaking up everysingle day if it was because of stress. Alot of times when people gave the excuse "stress", 2 weeks later they end up with a new BF. Shes not not telling you everything, its even something happened, someone else that made her break up with you. Right now until you find out more about the sistuation you need to talk to her as a friend, but only until your figuire out what your gonna do next.
baby-boo Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I hate to tell you this, but stress ISNT the reason. It could be a number of things. she could be feeling guiltly, perhaps she has been unfaithful She might have simply fallen out of love theres loads of things it could be. And WiseOne1 is right. Loads of websites say no contact is a good way of winning ur ex back, but thats bullsh*t. Yeah, sometimes it does require time for you ex to realise they love you and they messed up, but by then you will have both changed and it wont be a simple reunion with music and fireworks. NC however is good to help you get over an ex. It feels horrible and every second you'll want to call them, but dont, it makes things easier in the long run, i promis
LoveLace Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 I know its hard to read all this advice..but its all best for you. If there's a chance of her changing her mind about you, it won't happen with you trying to MAKE that happen. It may be she just needs space, and if that's all it is, there is only one way to find out, and that's by giving her the space,while treating it like a break-up; I hate to tell you this but chances are its really over so its best if you just start taking steps to come to terms with that. And even though she was the one to break up with you, she could still be in a state of confusion right now, which is likely the only reason why she might agree to spending time with you. The only way for her to know for sure what she wants, is again, by treating it like a break-up. Don't assume the confusion means she wants to get back together.
EmperorR Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 let her go, trust me i was in the same spot as you, begging, pleading writing oems leaving voicemails, crying your heart out to her it doesnt work, just htink of it like this the person you knew is gone trapped inside and now its like a imposter, they dont share the same feelings the old person did, maybe there going through a phase etc. best thing to do is give them time NC NC NC, if you are really important to them they will contact you if not then eh move on. Trust me my girl of 3 years dumped me 2 weeks ago i went through the begging stage, the you will never do better than me which is true etc. phase, the im sorry for how i acted i changed give me another chance, to the acting like im a friend then i coudlnt take it NC is the way to go. Trust me let her go if its meant to be and she truely loves u n you love her, let her go, dont be clingy etc. it doesn't work. Even today im crying my eyes out i just hae being aloe and ant someone to talk to, then i read my no contact manual and suck it up, dont let someone screw you over with emotions. Im doing NC i want my girl back, but im not doing NC ot get her back, im doing NC for myself, if she comes back and wants another try then great, if not then at least im not clinging to any word or phrase and using it as hope. Trust me this is what i think if two people are meant to be togethe they will be, i know people who have broken up dated other people and then yerars later got back together got married have kids etc.
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