shadowplay Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 What were the traits in another person that made you fall in love with them? I don't mean just the person you're with currently but others you've fallen really hard for in the past? And by fallen in love with I mean that exuberant, butterflies feeling that some people dismiss as infatuation. We all talk about compatibility, dependability, but what are the traits that make your heart go aflutter before your mind catches up? For me it's a combination of extreme intelligence, charisma/confidence, intensity, non-comformity, ambition, depth/similar way of seeing the world/lack of superficiality, and looks (though they need not be a 10). I find this combination is highly rare. For example there are a lot of people who have intelligence, looks, and confidence on their side but lack the non-comformity/independent-mindedness that I find so compelling. Part of falling in love is judging the other person as unique or irreplaceable in some important way. So I guess for me the main hook is somebody who has all the criteria to be a perfect conformist but chooses not to be. What's the hook for you?
vonerik012 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 LOL You need all that to fall in love? I seriously doubt it.. Perhaps you think you do.. have you been in love? And did your ex/current boyfriend embody all of that? Or did you start to like him, and then falsely believe they fit your criteria as you were emotionally invested?
Dirk Diggler Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 If you are constantly wavering on what love is, and been in a relationship riddled with turmoil and disrespect with your ex/current boyfriend in equal measure. How does your list make any sense beyond a delusional sense of what love means, when clearly any sort of on again and off again relationship has serious red flags.
Suiyobi Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I understand people have their standards but damn girl those standards are pretty high. I think your perfect mate is an extraterrestrial alien.
pandagirl Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I think it's chemicals/lust/attraction that initially makes you fall in love. It's the traits that make you love the person and stay in love.
Lizzie60 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I would have to say that, at first, without knowing the person in depth... it would be the intelligence.. this is MY priority.. then the looks. Later on.. confidence and being well-off (I don't mean rich.. but at least financially comfortable.. if the guy is broke... it's a turn-off). Any other qualities, such as ambitious, generous, etc.. are brownie points..
jerbear Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 What's the hook for you? Intelligence, charisma, ambition, long hair, nice legs, alpha female!
Author shadowplay Posted September 18, 2008 Author Posted September 18, 2008 I understand people have their standards but damn girl those standards are pretty high. I think your perfect mate is an extraterrestrial alien. I probably made the guy sound more perfect than he actually is. Looks and superficial charm aren't so important, though I need to be physically attracted. Intelligence, confidence and independence are the main draws for me.
konfuzd Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 For me, it's the rugged, rough & tough outdoorsy kind of manly man that just oozes testosterone from his pours. He has to be ambitious, and absolutely can not be a couch potato.
vascogirl Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 For me it's personality and confidence ,I seem to attract opposite of what I like. Not cool
iceis44 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I think it's chemicals/lust/attraction that initially makes you fall in love. It's the traits that make you love the person and stay in love. I believe this is a huge part of love fit. In this new relationship i have allowed myself to open. chemical= when this man gets close to me, his smell just engulfs me, i have never had that with another man the way I do this one. Lust= I am starting to realize you cant make lust either you have it or you dont, attraction= there has to be some physical attraction for it to make one step to the next level let me add, a finisher, i hate things not finished, a man that finishes what he starts self confidence, secure enough in himself to let me be me, as fun, crazy and goofy and sexy as i can get intellegence, I dont want a rocket scientist, but a man that knows what is going on and how to fix it if it breaks, or smart enough to call a repair man when he doesnt passionate, I am not talking about sex, I am so tired of "whatever" "maybe later" "sometime" "not today" "blank can do it"
porter218 Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Charisma, confidence, and intelligence. A man who is able to hold a conversation amongst any group of people....and strong arms.
carhill Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 And by fallen in love with I mean that exuberant, butterflies feeling that some people dismiss as infatuation. We all talk about compatibility, dependability, but what are the traits that make your heart go aflutter before your mind catches up? For me, it's simple; I look in her eyes and I know. She might be someone I just met or someone I've known a long time. One day, for me, she has that third dimension; the depth of her aura strikes me in a way that I can't ignore. I must know her. Or already have. And surely will All the other stuff comes later. That's been my experience, anyway.
allanDR Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I fall for the really nice girls with big smiles who don't put out. I'm pathetic........
marlena Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 1)Looks 2)Intelligence 3)sex appeal 4)confidence 5) a witty sense of humour 6) "hidden" qualities:D
zicke Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 Hmm for me it would be a tall, manly man who works with his big hands, charming, funny, smart, open, happy, alpha, great in bed, financially secure (doesn't need to make mad money, just no massive debts),handsome to me, respectful, smells great, strong, available, and adores me! Oh and if he rode a motorcycle I'd marry him tomorrow.
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