Isolde Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 This is something I've been curious about for a long time. How do guys perceive this whole "type" thing? As a girl, I often see a handsome man but I go, "yeah, he's not my type." Do you guys feel the same way about certain pretty girls you see? Are there some attractive women who you just can't imagine wanting to have sex with? How long do you date a girl before deciding whether the attraction is strong enough? I guess the title of my post is really what I wanted to get to. What makes guys turn girls down if they're a good catch and really nice? Is it just a chemistry thing? I find it hard to believe I haven't had chemistry with anyone I've liked ever...
monkey00 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 This is something I've been curious about for a long time. How do guys perceive this whole "type" thing? As a girl, I often see a handsome man but I go, "yeah, he's not my type." Do you guys feel the same way about certain pretty girls you see? Are there some attractive women who you just can't imagine wanting to have sex with? yes and yes. There are lots of pretty girls out there, including some co-workers of mine. Just because someone's pretty doesn't always mean you're attracted to them. The same can be said vice versa also. How long do you date a girl before deciding whether the attraction is strong enough? Strong enough for what? Long term material? I think the answer is to each their own. I guess the title of my post is really what I wanted to get to. What makes guys turn girls down if they're a good catch and really nice? Is it just a chemistry thing? I find it hard to believe I haven't had chemistry with anyone I've liked ever... As for turning girls down who are a good catch and nice, that's a tough question. I think a lot has to do with chemistry. You could meet someone who you're only 60% attracted to, while on the other hand you meet someone tomorrow that you're 90% having the hots for.
Green Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I would say most men would want to have sex with any attractive woman. there is even this one girl I absolutly hate and I would still have sex with her because she's hot. The only thing that would ever stop me from having sex with a girl is if she had been with one of my friends
flc Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I think it is a bit different at least for me. I don't think I have ever seen a beautiful women and said that's not my type. How would I know from looking at her? If she is beautiful then she starts out being my type. So I don't get to the not my type part until we have spent time together.
Tony T Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I think beauty and sex appeal are two different things. There are many women that the public in general consider beautiful but if they walked into my bedroom naked there would be little excitement on my part. The sizzling chemistry is what counts and it can happen between two people regardless of what others consider to be their attractiveness. One example I can think of right off my head: Actress Katherine Heigl is considered pretty by most men (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001337/). However, I am ZERO attracted to her and would never, ever consider anything more than a superficial friendship with her. I'm sure she may be a sweet lady but I have absolutely no desire to even get to know her and if I walked into my bedroom and she was naked in bed with her legs spread, I'd go back to the kitchen and see what was in the refrigerator.
oldguy Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I have women, friends and a few are hot but I would never consider sleeping with them for a couple of reasons; the most important one is that I’m married:p but the other is; sometimes a good friendship can get in the way of a romantic relationship I think. When I was single, a hundred years ago, I was very good friends with,(in fact still am very good friends with) a lady. We hung out all the time and even tried dating a few times but when it came to a romantic or physical relationship it just seemed… wrong, like the old adage; “it would have been like kissing your sister”, (no, don’t even go there).
High Plains Drifter Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Is it just a chemistry thing? I find it hard to believe I haven't had chemistry with anyone I've liked ever... Yep, I believe it is a "chemistry thing," and appearances are only as significant as they are further away at the ends of the spectrum; i.e., chemistry doesn't make up for physical repulsion or extraordinary beauty.
misternoname Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I think it comes down to what we're looking for. If it's strictly for sex then looks are everything. If we're looking for a relationship it does require physical attraction but personality takes over shortly thereafter. When I first met my girlfriend I thought she was pretty but nothing spectacular. As time went on and I became more and more attracted to her heart and mind she's "become" magically more physically attractive! Hell, she's downright beautiful.
carhill Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 For myself, I've never had a "type". I've interacted with a lot of women in my travels and, for me, it comes down to a certain connection I term "the third dimension". It has never had any basis in physicality. It also has happened only very rarely. Since I've been married during much of this time, it's also something I merely note but do not act upon I think that labeling such would be exceedingly difficult, as each of us is so different, both psychologically and in the sum total of our life experience. I do say, to myself of course, when I see another beautiful woman who is two-dimensional to me, that "I'm so happy she does not lack the male attention she won't be getting from me and won't miss it in the least". I've often wondered if women view men much the same way, or completely differently. I've heard from my female friends so much about "giving him a chance", which to me means she sees him as two-dimensional but doesn't wish to dismiss him out of hand. Maybe that understanding is flawed, I don't know For me, consistently, the most attractive woman has been the one who isn't particularly beautiful but who is emotionally open (I can feel it) to me. My experience has been that, with rare exceptions, beautiful women are emotionally closed, at least to me. It's a perception but one I trust. I still smile and am friendly, like I am with most people, but I know...weird... What makes guys turn girls down if they're a good catch and really nice? Is it just a chemistry thing?That's never happened to me so I can't say. If it did, I can only say that I'd have to trust my perception of who she was at the beginning. I have met women who are nice but such stems from insecurity, much as my own "niceness" did for years, and find that to be a bit of a turn-off. I can sense the difference between confident nice and insecure nice, as I'm sure women did in me during those years. Maybe by the time I'm dead I'll have it figured out
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 This is something I've been curious about for a long time. How do guys perceive this whole "type" thing? As a girl, I often see a handsome man but I go, "yeah, he's not my type." Do you guys feel the same way about certain pretty girls you see? Are there some attractive women who you just can't imagine wanting to have sex with? Yes I think about it but not obsessively. How long do you date a girl before deciding whether the attraction is strong enough? Depends on how long it takes me to get to know her. I guess the title of my post is really what I wanted to get to. What makes guys turn girls down if they're a good catch and really nice? Is it just a chemistry thing? I find it hard to believe I haven't had chemistry with anyone I've liked ever... Yes, sometimes a chemistry thing, sometimes it's something we can't quite put our fingers on, like red flags, etc. Insecurity for me kills attraction. But so does bad teeth and body odor It just depends. There is no magical formula when it comes to attraction. You just have to get up there to bat and see if you strike out or hit a home run. Cheers.
Author Isolde Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 For myself, I've never had a "type". I've interacted with a lot of women in my travels and, for me, it comes down to a certain connection I term "the third dimension". It has never had any basis in physicality. It also has happened only very rarely. I really like how you use the "second dimension" versus "third dimension" dichotomy to explain why some dates develop into more and others just fizzle. This is something I'm still trying to figure out myself.
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