Charisma Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I seem to be repeating many of my old mistakes in relationships and haven't learned anything from my past. I don't have very much dating experience and am in my late 20s. Everything I have tried has failed which is the reason I don't try that much. I realize that I have one relationship with many people. I run into the same problems and challenges which right now is bothering me. I figure since I'm attractive and smart no one would leave me but I'm wrong. This last guy I was dating I really liked and we had tons in common. But it only lasted one date and ended a week later..go figure. I just came on too strong and was too clingy and needy. I called him a couple of times and e-mailed him in a row. He mentioned on our date he wanted to take things slow and he didn't seem interested in flirting too much but did make eye contact regulary. Our date lasted 8 hours, so not too bad. I kind of rushed into kissing him at the end and I could see it was one sided. I thought it's too much too soon too fast! We had fun together but it was more like friends. After our date I asked him a couple of times if he wanted a girlfriend and he wasn't sure yet what he wanted (he's been divorced for 2 years...so I don't know if that's a problem...). So I agreed to be just friends with him since that's all he's ready for now. I wish I could go back and undo this all but I can't. I haven't heard from him in a week but I'm not surprised. I thought that I messed up again but this time I really liked this guy. So I was wondering if I gave him time and tried to contact him again could I fix this. This time I would appear less needy, bold, emotional, avoid converstaions about relationships since it's too early to plan that out and see if 'friends' would work. Any advice?
Isolde Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I'm all for the girl putting in effort, but you've already done that. Don't contact him again. He may still contact you, but he probably won't. Don't you think you deserve better than someone this unresponsive, whatever his reasons may be? Also, who goes on an 8-hour date? I think a first date should be like 3 hours at the most. Gives people space to breathe. I understand about the little experience and lots-of-failed-efforts kind of thing. All I can say is that you're 1) not alone, and 2) don't need to invite yourself into the same kind of hurt by pursuing this guy.
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