Siciliana Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 I was in bed with my new guy when the ex walked in. We were done hainvg sex and just laying there. The ex did not come in the room, or see him. New guy hid in the bathroom in my room as ex got my daughter's stuff. He has a key because he needs access to my daughter and her stuff. I trust him. He thought I was not home. Her tried to call. I didn't answer. But, new guy quit talking to me even though the ex got the stuff and left with not one word about it.
TigerCub Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Well what happened after the ex left, what did the boyfriend say? How long has it been since he stopped talking to you?
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Well what happened after the ex left, what did the boyfriend say? How long has it been since he stopped talking to you? He said it is better if he just goes. it has been almost 4 weeks. I texted him twice and sent an email, all to which he ignored.
TigerCub Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 He said it is better if he just goes. it has been almost 4 weeks. I texted him twice and sent an email, all to which he ignored. Wow! That seems like such an over reaction! How long have you two been together?
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Wow! That seems like such an over reaction! How long have you two been together? Since June. I blasted him in an email telling him he was a pussy and that I am better off without him. That he is not man enough for me and then I thanked him for realizing that for me.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 I kinda feel bad about it and wonder if I should apologize but not because I want to be with him...but because I feel bad for being bitter.
bigmanpayne Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I was in bed with my new guy when the ex walked in. We were done hainvg sex and just laying there. The ex did not come in the room, or see him. New guy hid in the bathroom in my room as ex got my daughter's stuff. He has a key because he needs access to my daughter and her stuff. I trust him. He thought I was not home. Her tried to call. I didn't answer. But, new guy quit talking to me even though the ex got the stuff and left with not one word about it. the whole ex having a key is probably a problem... no it is a problem. why does he have a key? he needs access to you daughter and her stuff? why cant you just be there when he needs something? that doesnt add up right now, can you elaborate on that? that situation would kinda raise my eyebrow, but i highly doubt that i would hide from anybody, or stop talking to you because of it.
bigmanpayne Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Since June. I blasted him in an email telling him he was a pussy and that I am better off without him. That he is not man enough for me and then I thanked him for realizing that for me. Thank the LORD! i thought that was kind of odd. that's probably why he isnt talking to you anymore, he is embarrased. that is so weak.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 the whole ex having a key is probably a problem... no it is a problem. why does he have a key? he needs access to you daughter and her stuff? why cant you just be there when he needs something? that doesnt add up right now, can you elaborate on that? that situation would kinda raise my eyebrow, but i highly doubt that i would hide from anybody, or stop talking to you because of it. I work and go to school full time. I like to know that if he needs something from my home for my daughter, of if I need him to get into my home I can call him and he can take care of it. We are still good friends. I have a key to his place. I have a ket to my bestfriend's house, too. I don't see it as a big deal.
TigerCub Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Since June. I blasted him in an email telling him he was a pussy and that I am better off without him. That he is not man enough for me and then I thanked him for realizing that for me. Dating since June..Does that even make him a boyfriend? But either way - he's got no balls because if he had an issue with the ex husband coming in, he should have just said it at some point and not just ignored you for 4 weeks... I don't think you should feel bad about the email...you said what was on your mind - which is a lot more than he's capable of doing. I'm just really stunned at the reaction. I mean if he had questions about why the ex has a key or anything else, he should have asked, not cut off ties and went running for the hills.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Thank the LORD! i thought that was kind of odd. that's probably why he isnt talking to you anymore, he is embarrased. that is so weak. Yeah, he is a pussy. I cannot believe he hid in the bathroom. Especially because my ex didn't say a word.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Dating since June..Does that even make him a boyfriend? But either way - he's got no balls because if he had an issue with the ex husband coming in, he should have just said it at some point and not just ignored you for 4 weeks... I don't think you should feel bad about the email...you said what was on your mind - which is a lot more than he's capable of doing. I'm just really stunned at the reaction. I mean if he had questions about why the ex has a key or anything else, he should have asked, not cut off ties and went running for the hills. Thank you for confirming my decisions!
bigmanpayne Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I work and go to school full time. I like to know that if he needs something from my home for my daughter, of if I need him to get into my home I can call him and he can take care of it. We are still good friends. I have a key to his place. I have a ket to my bestfriend's house, too. I don't see it as a big deal. forget that. not to sound harsh but the keys to each other's place is crazy. i would have a problem with that if you and i were together. how old is your daughter? if she is old enough, leave the key with her - both of you, and only have her use it if she needs to. my youngest is 7 and he has a key just in case, or the neighbors have one just in case one of my kids ever finds themselves in a jam. that ex's as best friends never works unless you are demi and bruce, and they are rich enough to just not care - most people aren't that lucky.
bigmanpayne Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Yeah, he is a pussy. I cannot believe he hid in the bathroom. Especially because my ex didn't say a word. no doubt. geez. what are you hiding for? grown men dont hide. i am so happy that you arent just accepting that just because you like him or the sex is good or whatever. would he do the same thing is someone broke into your house? how could you ever feel safe around him? what a pu**y. my ex is with a guy like that and for the life of me i cant figure out why.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 forget that. not to sound harsh but the keys to each other's place is crazy. i would have a problem with that if you and i were together. how old is your daughter? if she is old enough, leave the key with her - both of you, and only have her use it if she needs to. my youngest is 7 and he has a key just in case, or the neighbors have one just in case one of my kids ever finds themselves in a jam. that ex's as best friends never works unless you are demi and bruce, and they are rich enough to just not care - most people aren't that lucky. My daughter is almost 4. I don't see a problem with the key situation. No offense, but that seems like an insecurity. The men I date need to accept that my relationship with my exhusband is important because he is the father of my daughter. It didn't work out for a reason, therefore there is no reason to be jealous over a key. I did have a talk with him about not entering my house if he sees strange cars in the drive way. He needed pajamas for my daughter as the ones she had she peed her pants. So, I cannot blame him for coming over to get clothes for her since he lives like 3 blocks away.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 no doubt. geez. what are you hiding for? grown men dont hide. i am so happy that you arent just accepting that just because you like him or the sex is good or whatever. would he do the same thing is someone broke into your house? how could you ever feel safe around him? what a pu**y. my ex is with a guy like that and for the life of me i cant figure out why. You know what sucks... I fell for him hard. I mean, my heart hurts bad over this. And, the sex.. god damn was it amazing. He even said that he had never connected with someone they way he did with me. But, he definitely was not man enough for me. I think I have more balls than he does. Secretly, I think that is part of the reason he did that. I think that I intimidated him with my potent personality. I am a fiesty, out-spoken, opinionated, educated, green-eyed, Chicago-born, woman of Sicilian decent. And, for this... I remain single. I get told by my male friends, that I scare men because I have a dominating personality If I have a belief of opinion I stand up for it. I guess here in the dirty south, I am not supposed to, or something.
High Plains Drifter Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Since June. I blasted him in an email telling him he was a pussy and that I am better off without him. That he is not man enough for me and then I thanked him for realizing that for me. Yeah.....seems like everyone oughta be happy. Might be a good idea to work something out with The Ex-With-A-Key before this happens again. It MIGHT appear that you're just using the next guy to make the Ex jealous:rolleyes: I said MIGHT.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Yeah.....seems like everyone oughta be happy. Might be a good idea to work something out with The Ex-With-A-Key before this happens again. It MIGHT appear that you're just using the next guy to make the Ex jealous:rolleyes: I said MIGHT. I don't operate that way. There is no need to make him jealous. That is just petty insecure bull**** I do not prescribe to. He has had no idea that I have even been dating. I didn't even want him to know. Infact, he assumed I was not home as I was scheduled for a meeting that was canceled. He knew I had the meeting. I never told him it got canceled.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Yeah.....seems like everyone oughta be happy. Might be a good idea to work something out with The Ex-With-A-Key before this happens again. It MIGHT appear that you're just using the next guy to make the Ex jealous:rolleyes: I said MIGHT. Yeah, I did end up talking to him about entering when strange cars were in my driveway and how he shouldn't. He was fine with it.
D-Lish Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 The ex could keep a few pairs of extra pj's, clothes, toys, etc so he doesn't need to walk into your place whenever he wants. If I was in bed naked with my bf and his ex wife walked in- I'd be freaked out too. I think the initial reaction he had wasn't abnormal given the circumstances. It would be kind of shocking to me too actually. Having said that- I also know if I really liked someone, I would deal with the problem and talk about it with my bf. I wouldn't just take off and never talk to the guy again after 3 months together. I would def stick around and try and work through it. If he doesn't have kids, has never been married- or has never had this kind of amicable relationship with an ex... it would be foreign to him, perhaps beyond his scope of comprehension. I once dated a man with kids and an ex wife. She used to drop by unannounced regularly. She even walked in while we were having a candle light dinner once and sat down and had a glass of wine. She wanted to say good night to the kids- and then after just sat with us and chatted for a while. She was a cool person- but I always felt "on edge" when I was over there that she was going to walk in. It didn't last long between us- and that was a part of it from my end. He's a coward for not being able to talk to you about it. I wouldn't apologize for your e-mail, he didn't give you the courtesy of an explanation- he just took off. You don't owe him anything. Your anger was/is justified. There's no reason why the ex can't have a key when you are on good terms and share a daughter. Maybe, it needs to come down to "only for extreme emergencies".... Or when he gets your okay.
mental_traveller Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I wouldn't date someone who's ex had a key to her place. Then again, I wouldn't hide in a bathroom either lol. Let's just say you and this guy aren't exactly meant to be I wouldn't use your personality as a reason why he left. Not everyone likes wallflowers.
mental_traveller Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I don't operate that way. There is no need to make him jealous. That is just petty insecure bull**** I do not prescribe to. He has had no idea that I have even been dating. I didn't even want him to know. Infact, he assumed I was not home as I was scheduled for a meeting that was canceled. He knew I had the meeting. I never told him it got canceled. You don't have to be insecure to dislike the idea of another guy roaming around your gf's house whenever he feels like it. What next - your ex pops up while you and your next bf are having sex? Call me strange but that would seem a bit off-putting.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 You don't have to be insecure to dislike the idea of another guy roaming around your gf's house whenever he feels like it. What next - your ex pops up while you and your next bf are having sex? Call me strange but that would seem a bit off-putting. No, no, that comment you quoted was in reference to me purposely making my ex jealous. That is what I deem as insecure and petty. Not the disliking of the ex just walking in. And, I don't blame anyone for not liking it. I didn't like it and it was taken care of. Unfortunately, the ex was just getting settled in his new place and most of her stuff was still here. That is why he didn't have anything over there. He does now though.
Author Siciliana Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Not everyone likes wallflowers. I hope one day I can find someone who appreciates it
bigmanpayne Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 My daughter is almost 4. I don't see a problem with the key situation. No offense, but that seems like an insecurity. The men I date need to accept that my relationship with my exhusband is important because he is the father of my daughter. It didn't work out for a reason, therefore there is no reason to be jealous over a key. I did have a talk with him about not entering my house if he sees strange cars in the drive way. He needed pajamas for my daughter as the ones she had she peed her pants. So, I cannot blame him for coming over to get clothes for her since he lives like 3 blocks away. no jealousy. when my ex wife and i got a seperation 5 years ago i used to tell all of my dates that her and i were just cool and she was just over the house babysitting, etc. and that was true, but i still was having sex with her whenever i could even though i didnt really want to be with her at the time and had girlfriends, etc. i dont care what you say that wouldnt fly, no jealousy, believe me i dont get jealous, i am just not stupid. i would want him to have his own pajamas for her and not have a key to my girlfriend's house. i would have no say so of course so i would probably get out of that situation, but i wouldnt hide in the bathroom, i would just tell you.
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