jackie_O Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 Some people tend to think that only social outcasts, ugly or overweight people hide behind their computers to online date. What does everyone else on here think abt it? 1) Is it safe? 2) Does it lead to successful relationships?
JohnnyBlaze Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 Not all online daters are social outcasts, ugly or overweight. Some have busy lives and can't (or would rather not) spend what little time they have cruising the bars. Some are just shy, and could spend all day in the hottest club in the country, and still walk home alone. And yes, some are social outcasts, ugly over overweight. Just like in real life. 1) as safe as dating in person. If the person doesn't match the picture, you know before they've even opened their mouth that they're a liar (which is more than you'd know if you just met someone in a bar). 2) It can. I dated a chick that I met online (back in the old days of ICQ), and although we're not together anymore, we certainly had a good run while it lasted! I don't regret it one bit.
D-Jam Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 It's only safe if you are SMART in what you do and say online. Don't ever accept what a person says more than what he/she does. Take things slow with people. People looking only for sex won't be patient in my book. Don't get easily bothered or creeped out. Yes if you're a woman, guys will send you lurid messages, bad emails, even genital shots. Don't freak out and leave, but laugh, delete, and move on to the better ones who might email you. I've noticed from female colleagues that one rejection or sign of slight trouble and they're rushing to delete the account. Apparently it can lead all the way to marriage. My ex (we're on good terms) and her fiance run a wedding photography business. They tell me most of their clients met on dating sites. Again, I think if you're realistic, patient, open-minded, and will not rush or do foolish things, online dating can work out.
CaliGuy Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 It's safe if you take precautions. Yes, there are some quality people there. You just need to know how to weed through the marsh, so to speak. So yes, it can lead to successful relationships. Many of my friends have tried it and some of them are now married. That's what got me to start using them.
Isolde Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I would even be able to get over the fact that online is (IMO) a pretty unromantic way to meet someone, if I knew of a site that was a) filled with 20-somethings and b) safe. Craigslist, the only dating site I've tried, is filled with creeps, but it's also the only one that seems to cater to my age group. Okcupid is mushy and stupid. Myspace and facebook are useless for this sort of thing.
bigmanpayne Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Some people tend to think that only social outcasts, ugly or overweight people hide behind their computers to online date. What does everyone else on here think abt it? 1) Is it safe? 2) Does it lead to successful relationships? it has worked beautifully for me. i am dating regularly and pretty happy. you have to weed through the crazies, but after that you can find some decent people. it is as safe as you will make it, there are tons of htings you can do to protect yourself.
CarrieT Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I just ended a 3-year relationship with a guy I met on Craigslist. Now, being 100% self-employed, I don't have the same social network to meet people so I have gone back to the world of internet dating. This time, Match, Alt.com, and OKCupid. I've only been doing it about 6 weeks but have so far been on four dates and have two more scheduled. Sadly, some of the greatest guys I've been meeting are geographically undesirable but the upcoming two dates seem a lot more impressive than the previous four (which I only accepted to "get back out there.") I am getting a lot more connections on OKCupid but the upcoming two dates are -- respectively -- from Alt and Match. Suffice to say, it is a new ballgame for me and I'm willing to give it a try for a while. But I am seriously considering becoming a docent at a museum or something to try and network.
flc Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Online dating is just a reflection of society in general. The same people are online as those you see in the crowd. Some will be creeps, some players and some will be really nice people looking for someone special. When you start it may be hard to tell but after a few weeks you can weed out the chaff just by looking at their profile and reading a couple of their emails. My main advice it don't get into prolonged emailing or chatting. If you think after a couple of emails that the person is interesting then setup a meeting for coffee at a public spot during the day. Meeting someone in person is the only way your going to determine if they are what your are looking for.
oldguy Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 When you do meet I would highly recommend doing it in a very public place, as you would on a date. Maybe even suggest meeting them at a club that you and some friends will just happen to be at. Do not let them know where you live before you really get to know them. Just the common sense precautions you should be using if you meet someone at a bar, club or anywhere else for that matter. This advice is good for men and women and weather you meet someone in a bar, at a church, the dreaded blind date that your “friends” set up or it’s online there are some strange people out there I know, I've met most of them:laugh: I did meet my wife online and although I may or may not be ugly I’m not fat and I’m definitely not shy and my wife is hot
Shygirl15 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 1) Is it safe? - so far it has been safe for me 2) Does it lead to successful relationships? - In my case, yes. Recently, I have had more success online than in real life. You will have more success with paid dating websites than free ones, though.
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 You will have more success with paid dating websites than free ones, though. I have found the opposite to be true. Never have I had as much success in meeting people than I have with the "free" site. There's more people (because it's free) and the quality is about the same. People have nothing to lose, at least, that is my experience. With the pay sites, I think people expect too much (as if paying somehow automatically equates to higher quality).
Lauriebell82 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Some people tend to think that only social outcasts, ugly or overweight people hide behind their computers to online date. What does everyone else on here think abt it? 1) Is it safe? 2) Does it lead to successful relationships? 1) They are safe if you are careful about who to meet. There are just as many crazy people that you could meet on the street as you would meet online. 2) Yeah, a lot of times they do. I have friends who have met people online and they are in relationships with them. That all being said, dating sites are just not for me. I'm not trying to judge anyone who does, I just prefer to meet someone and know who they are/what they look like prior to meeting them for the first time. I actually probably could have met my boyfriend online, as we are very compatible and have a lot in common. I LOVE that we met at the gym though, everyone loves the story of how we first met!
george35 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I’ve done both at the same time and found got what I paid for. That may be due in part that paid sites can be personalized or screened better.
george35 Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 1) They are safe if you are careful about who to meet. There are just as many crazy people that you could meet on the street as you would meet online. 2) Yeah, a lot of times they do. I have friends who have met people online and they are in relationships with them. That all being said, dating sites are just not for me. I'm not trying to judge anyone who does, I just prefer to meet someone and know who they are/what they look like prior to meeting them for the first time. I actually probably could have met my boyfriend online, as we are very compatible and have a lot in common. I LOVE that we met at the gym though, everyone loves the story of how we first met! Its inportant that you actually do meet some of these people, if your just going to write back and forth whats the point. When you do meet them for the first time you need to be just as careful as you would if you met them on the street. You also need to be careful when talking to them online. There are just as many crazy people that you could meet on the street as you would meet online.
misternoname Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I've used match and was very pleased. Yes, I met some less than honest women but i also met some great ones. Speaking of, I met my current girlfriend on match. We've moved to the exclusive level and are enjoying each others company immensely. Ironically, she's embarassed to admit how we met. But is it any worse than getting picked up at a bar? At least with match you have a little pre-knowledge. It may not be for everyone but it's worth a try. I would have never met her otherwise!
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