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So SCARED

CZ1984

By CZ1984
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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CZ1984 New Member

CZ1984

Posted
Posted

WELL MY WIFE 1 MONTH AGO WANTED A DIVORCE FROM OUT OF NO WHERE SHE SAID SHE JUST STOPPED LOVING ME AND THAT IS THAT WE SEPERATED FOR A MONTH SHE ENDED UP TALKING TO SOMEONE HER EX BOYFRIEND FROM 8 YRS AGO AND THEY TALKED AND MET ONCE AND KISSED I BELIEVE IT BECAUSE SHE SHE DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT ME AND HE FOUND OUT THREW A MUTUAL FRIEND HER AND I WERE TRYING TO PATCH THINGS UP THEN ONCE HE FOUND OUT SHE SPED THINGS UP AND REGREW ATTACHED SAYING SHE IS SORRY AND SHE MADE A MISTAKE AND THAT HE WAS JUST CONVIENENT AND SHE REALLY WANTS ME ANT THE TWO KIDS....SHE SINCE THEN HAS BEEN PROVING THINGS TO ME AND MAKING THINGS RIGHT BUT IM JUST SO AFRAID SHE IS DOING THESE THINGS FOR THE WRONG REASON NOT FOR WHAT SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE LOVES ME AND ONLY ME...PLEASE HELP I DONT WANT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE BY AGGRAVATING HER BUT IM JUST SCARED OF THIS BEING SOMETHING FOR THE TIME BEING AND NOT FOR REAL LIKE BEFORE...:o

Ronni_W Established Member

Ronni_W

Posted
Posted
IM JUST SCARED OF THIS BEING SOMETHING FOR THE TIME BEING AND NOT FOR REAL

I'm sorry that you are hurting and scared.

I would suggest that you both go for marriage counseling, so that you can really start to get things right, learn how to better communicate, how to help each other meet needs, develop and work towards mutual goals, etc.

 

PS: Not sure if you are aware but using all capitals in one's post is considered "bad etiquette" online, in emails, texts, etc.

Lucky_One Established Member

Lucky_One

Posted
Posted

Well, odds are fabulous that she was talking to her XBF before the month's separation.

 

Personally, I would put a keylogger on the computer and see what she is up to with her computer time. A lot of people disagree about "checking up on spouses" and "trust" and "privacy", but a household computer is fair game legally and (to me) ethically.

 

Damned if I would want to spend a lot of time and effort trying to work a reconcilation if she is still talking to and meeting this guy behind your back.

sweet&simple Established Member

sweet&simple

Posted
Posted

I agree with both of the above.. chances are she was talking to this guy before the split. He was probably one of the main reasons she split with you, she gave it a shot with him, and from the sounds of things he rejected her and she came crawling back to you.

 

I'd be suspicious about her reasoning for coming back too.. she was so quick to leave her husband and children for some other guy, and now she wants to come back home?

 

If you're determined to work this out, marriage counseling is your best bet.

bish Established Member

bish

Posted
Posted
WELL MY WIFE 1 MONTH AGO WANTED A DIVORCE FROM OUT OF NO WHERE SHE SAID SHE JUST STOPPED LOVING ME AND THAT IS THAT WE SEPERATED FOR A MONTH SHE ENDED UP TALKING TO SOMEONE HER EX BOYFRIEND FROM 8 YRS AGO AND THEY TALKED AND MET ONCE AND KISSED I BELIEVE IT BECAUSE SHE SHE DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT ME AND HE FOUND OUT THREW A MUTUAL FRIEND HER AND I WERE TRYING TO PATCH THINGS UP THEN ONCE HE FOUND OUT SHE SPED THINGS UP AND REGREW ATTACHED SAYING SHE IS SORRY AND SHE MADE A MISTAKE

 

First things first. Periods and paragraphs are your friend. this post hurts my eyes.

 

Secondly...she says she stopped loving you, but now made a mistake? ya right, more like she wanted to screw around, the new guy probably didn't want her as bad as she had hoped, and got scared she was going to be left all alone. Too bad. Don't buy her bullsh#t.

 

AND THAT HE WAS JUST CONVIENENT AND SHE REALLY WANTS ME ANT THE TWO KIDS....SHE SINCE THEN HAS BEEN PROVING THINGS TO ME AND MAKING THINGS RIGHT

 

Like what? Can't imagine what she can do to make right out of "I don't love you anymore".

 

 

BUT IM JUST SO AFRAID SHE IS DOING THESE THINGS FOR THE WRONG REASON

 

I'd say your fear of that is correct. I think she is doing it for the wrong reason. And you shouldn't have to put up with a person that is only a wife on the surface.

 

 

NOT FOR WHAT SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE LOVES ME AND ONLY ME...PLEASE HELP I DONT WANT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE BY AGGRAVATING HER

 

???? HUH? You don't want to aggravate her? Sounds like she wears the pants.

 

Brother, she screwed you over bigtime. Why are you worried about aggravating her? You need to look after #1, yourself. Don't be played for a fool. If you stand up for yourself, and she gets aggravated, then there is your sign that she isn't willing to make amends, as if I think she could anyway.

 

Have you thought about filing for divorce? How do you feel about her telling her she doesn't love you any longer, only to say she made a mistake?

 

Sounds to me like she screwed around and ended up getting rejected....either that or she realized how much she has to lose, and by that I don't mean you.

 

Whatever you do, don't let her play you for a fool. If you have questions, ask away. Quite a few of us have been in your shoes.

theobserver Established Member

theobserver

Posted
Posted

You need to man-up. It's as simple as, no offense but you sound like a doormat of a guy look I know it sounds stupid but you can not be Mr Nice Guy for everything it really does not work you need to balance it out with being an as$hole as I said to one other poster you need to keep your woman focused on a part of you she forver thinks she can change. A relationship is a constant battle (I don't mean that negatively) to keep things fresh, interested and to keep you working once things are perfect someone gets bored.

 

 

Having said that your wife sounds toxic. Beware a woman willing to drop everything husband kids at the drop of a hat I think it's very clear she was 100% willing to leave you but got rejected at the last minute and she hasn't got the balls (so to speak) to leave you UNLESS she has a new man willing to house her and look after her (or wish her, I don't know her independant financial situation) .

 

Personally I would take a good look at how she treats you, I'm telling you now she is going to do this again soon as a new man willing to take her comes along and it is going to break your heart unless you cut her out now (sort out your assets and file for divorce).

 

I also want to get out there to people, look I've never personally been cheated on. I might spew out divorce or break up now and then but I do believe in forgiveness but there are many situations where I see one party is really being made a fool of for their gullable tendancies and unless someone tells them how it is they will be made a fool of until they die.

 

Good luck with this all :)

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