celinedion1 Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 Well after having someone by myside for almost 10 years, I now need to find myself. Further more I need to find happiness for myself. Does anyone have any advice for finding happiness within yourself?
Tony T Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 Well after having someone by myside for almost 10 years, I now need to find myself. Further more I need to find happiness for myself. Does anyone have any advice for finding happiness within yourself? Happiness is not something you find. It's something you are. ONLY YOU can know what will make you happy and content....then you go for it. External happiness is fleeting. You can't depend on other people or things to make you feel great...except maybe temporarily. Being truly happy is living in the now and being OK with everything that's going on. Cease all demands on others and yourself. If you think I can write a couple of paragraphs to get you happy, you've got another thought coming. It's a process that all must go through for themselves. Start with finding a spiritual path that you can subscribe to...anyone of them and move on from there.
Ingenue Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 There are always those things that give you the temporary feelings of happiness: winning the lottery, eating a really good burger, a big slice of chocolate cake. As pleasant as retail therapy, coupled with excess consumerism and wanton gluttony are enjoyable, those are fleeting and superficial. For a long period of my life, I was a rather unhappy person. I reveled in my misery, the bleaker my days were, the more comfortable I was. I used to think that something, some process, some magical pill, would make me happy. Then one day I realised, it wasn't that I had to do a process of steps to be happy. It was accepting who I was and being comfortable in my own skin. It took me years of introspection to realise what I am and what I enjoy doing. And surprisingly, I am overall happy. For me, it's been about finding who I am, what I represent and what makes me whole. Good luck on your path to happiness.
quankanne Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 look at this break up as an opportunity for growth, both mental and spiritual, and use it as a chance to get involved in ways you maybe weren't able to do so before. It'll give you a sense of self that you might not have possessed before. "Happy" is a relative term, IMO, because it's conditional on what's going on at the time and how you respond to that ... learn to love yourself despite the fact that you're out of a long-term relationship and peace will follow. sappy sounding advice, I know, but trust me, there's opportunity for phenomenal personal growth right now.
Eyeofthoth Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 This is a great post. I think what I have learned/am learning is that all relationships are temporary, every single one, no matter how great. Some of the most beautiful are in fact the shortest, and some of the longest, most durable are just that way because they are of tough stock, but may not have a whole lot of joy and flowers to them. Think of the most beautiful rose in your garden. It only lasts a few days. That is life. Life is all about beauty and sorrow and loving and learning and being strong enough to move on after grief. So, as a person who loves to be in a relationship and hates not to be in a relationship, I have a tough task. Finding a great relationship takes energy, but being able to be happy without one is just as important. Still though, I see being alone as always a temporary condition, as though I am just working on myself to get ready for the next relationship. Unless I am going to die soon, I am not complete unless I am in relationship with someone. Some people think that is a flawed way to think, but I don't believe we are meant to walk through life uncoupled. But being happy alone is just as natural and just as necessary to our emotional health as being happy in a couple. Sometimes we need to be alone for a considerable amount of time before we are ready for a new relationship. One of the great things about being alone is that it provides more opportunity to meet people independently. Not necessarily people that we would want to be with long term, or even really be friends with, but people who are interesting to know and who can really broaden our perspective on the human race. Go out and meet people. Lots of people. It will be a big growth experience. Be happy because you are alone. Be happy because this is a time for you. It is all right, and it is all good.
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