wierdmunky Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 So I went to my bf's all family BBQ that I was slightly nervous about because for a while I couldn't stand even going to one of my own family functions. I always get really self conscious and nervous and can't seem to socialize as good because I don't want to be labeled anything. My family is very judgmental because of their religious and cultural background, and they couldn't STAND my last bf. Every function they would tell me to break up with him or asked if we did yet, his family is this and that, I couldn't do anything but to defend him and myself at these family things and I started to hate them because I would just get into arguments over him and then every other issue that followed surrounding that. And that relationship lasted 7 yrs. So, that guy DID turn out to be a jerk, but partly because there was so much tension between the 2 families that they couldn't get beyond. I definitely do not want to go down that road again, nor, do I even want to CARE about their feelings after that in that situation. I felt I got lost in just trying to make things work, and hardly enjoying myself in the relationship at all. So I was at the BBQ, after a while when things started to die down I was on my phone checking out Frank Miller stuff and texting which is probably rude now that I think about it, but I thought today was casual anyway! My bf was playing football and I had no idea what the conversation was that one cousin who is pregnant was already engulfed in, and the other one was sleeping, I felt kinda out of place and it seemed that everyone else was just relaxing so I relaxed on my phone So later at the end when football was over some ppl were talking about books and Dean Koontz the author and the Odd Thomas series, and my bf's uncle looks at me and goes "Odd lady!" points and ha ha's! Okaayyyy I'm mortified inside but said to myself, just play it off inconspicuous right now. This is the third family gathering I've been to, the uncle is actually MY NEIGHBOR (how that happened IDK) But it really pissed me off inside! I don't want to make a big deal about it because its really not (it was 5 seconds) but I couldn't laugh it off, it was more like ew F.U. odd neighbor!! Anyone have any tips on how to be more comfortable at these things?because I know there will be more, and I'm already feeling not good enough, but I'm not going to wallow in my feelings, I want to enjoy spending time there.
quankanne Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 just laugh it off and go your merry way about these gatherings. That doesn't mean be rude, it means be polite and kind and attentive when you must, and entertain yourself accordingly when you're stuck someplace and there's no real conversation/dialogue taking place. frankly, you should have yelled jokingly back, "Professional odd lady detector," or something equally stupid, then laughed with everyone else. WHATEVER you do, don't let someone else cow you. Just set out to have an enjoyable evening and ignore that which bugs you. Because while you might still be considered odd in their eyes, they might also think you're a good egg, too!
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