mkelee Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Hello guys, I have been trying to get some legal advice. My wife and I are about 70 percent through working out an agreement. It has been easier than I thought. We dont have any property just two kids and we have agreed upon joint legal and joint physical basically 50/50 we have agreed upon parenting plans. I have called legal aid and they wont talk to me because we live in the same house. Every layer I have spoke to will not go into any detail until i come up with a 3000.00 retainer. The only thing we do not agree upon is: we live in a low income apartment and rent is pretty cheap. The area we live in is high dollar. Our kids are in a fantastic school district and dont want to move them out of that. We pay $900.00 a month for a for 4 bedroom. A two bedroom in the area goes for 1300 to 1800 a month. My wife wants this divorce I do not not. But I willing to do this. I quit a good job to stay with my family. I took a much lower paying job to stay in town and be with my kids. My wife makes more money than I do. She wants me to move. I want her to move. If the rents are higher and she makes more money than I do she will be better equiped to handle that. Does that make sense????? Or if I move she could pay me a spousal support to even things out until I am making more money then she will no longer have to pay. Does that make any sense??? does anyone know where you can legal advise with out paying a ton of money since my wife nor myself has any?????? Thank you!
TrustInYourself Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 What do you want validation or honesty?
Author mkelee Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Your funny, its simple a question. Is that a fair expectation on my part. So far my Wife has been able to look at both sides if I can give her the scenario without any b/s. This is the only thing left keeping her from getting the divorce she wants. I dont want to come up on her or teach her a lesson etc. I just want to live in an enviroment with my kids half the time with the same quality as I did before. She makes more money she should take the hit she wants out not me. I dont believe everyone is trying to come up on each other all the time. We are pretty close to ending this without a lawyer and hate and debt.
SingleDad Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I think TIY is suggesting that you are working out a divorce and you are simply asking about the money aspect of it - where to live and who pays child support. You have 2 kids... Usually the biggest issue is trying to save the marriage, then if it can't be saved then is the parenting plan and custody. There has been no mention of why she wants the divorce ? Is there any way to save the marriage ? There is a lot more to a divorce with children than agreeing to terms... Have each of you thought about the impact on the children.... and if the marriage can in any way be saved ?
Author mkelee Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 She has been asking for the divorce for six months . She says she simply does not love me anymore and does not want to work it out. As far as the kids go, they know we are getting a divorce. My focus is (and my wifes) is the future of our kids. We have gone around and around with this and have came up with a plan that lets our kids share as much time with each of us. They are really good kids ones has been on the honor roll now for a year and a half. We talk with them quite a bit and are prepared for family counsling etc. They are the result of two parents who love them being good parents. There is no reason why this should not continue as long as the kids needs are put first and any problems we have with each other is set aside. I did not want the divorce , I did not think we tried everything, But you cant lead a horse to water. She wants her freedom and I will give it to her. She knows that my concern lies with our kids. The last bump in the road is our living araingement and what is fair. She doesnt want to have to pay anymore money for rent than I do. But she makes more money and wants the divorce. It will cost more to rent in our area than what is being paid now. who moves? We are committed to living in the same area so it is easy for the kids to move around.
SingleDad Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Seems like you have answered your own question. You love your Wife - you do not want the divorce - you would prefer to live with your W in the same apartment. So If she wants out so desperately- she has to leave and find another place. If she doesn't want to leave - fine - then there is no separation. Child Support would depend on the laws of your state... not much to negotiate - just google child support and your state and see what the laws are on who pays what and how the amount of parenting time affects CS.
BCCA Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 You should probably speak to a divorce lawyer. No one is going to give you legal advice on a message board, thats actually illegal. Only someone who is a state-barred attorney can give legal advice. I wouldn't make her move, personally, because then the kids would have to move. You NEED to make sure this has as little of an impact on your kids as possible. I know you both love them, but as someone with divorced parents, love isnt always enough to keep them from blaming themselves. Most of the issues people have are a result of their childhood, and more specifically, their relationship with their parents. You dont want your ex telling the kids they have to move because of you. Again, call a divorce lawyer, let them play middle-man, and try to remember that you need to think of the kids first. Im sorry, I know how crappy this is to go through.
Author mkelee Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 I spoke with a lawyer and the options I have are not fun. I will probably try to do some spousal support at the least. As far as the kids go, They know that they will be splitting time even time between 2 households. So either way in a sense they are moving.
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