celinedion1 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 So my ex and I have been in each other's lives for 10 years. Back in June we broke up. However we got in contact with each other and we started seeing each other. He met a girl online, and back in June after talking to her for 1 day he claimed to be in love with her and that he wanted to marry her. Then he and I get in contact with each other and we start seeing each other again. He and I start seeing each other again (after being toegether for 5 years and being in each others lives for 10 years). So for the 3 months after June he and I start seeing each other and the feeling come back. He told me that just because we broke up that he never stoped loving me. He also told me that I was the love of his life and that he wanted to marry me. However currently he didn't want to be in a commited relationship with anyone. So just before he gets on the plane to go and meet this girl online, he told me that he wanted to marry me and that he loves me then he kissed me. So he flies off to the east coast to meet this online girl. He told me that they were just friends and that there was nothing going on between them. So he gets there and after only 1 day he claims to be in love with her. Keep in mind that hes never met her before. I feel so betrayed and hurt because he told me that there was nothing between them. He kept telling me that they were just friends and that there was nothing between them. How can you fall in love with someone after only 1 day? I just feel so sick to my stomach right now. I've been by his side for 10 years throughout everything, and now I find out that everything he's ever told me was a lie. He's going to be there for 10 more days, he's already been there for 2 days. I hope he stays there, they can have each other. I just feel so betrayed and hurt right now. I just don't know what to think.
megapositive Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Sounds like he wanted you around just in case things with this online chick don't work out. He wants to marry you but doesn't want to be in a committed relationship? That is, he wants his cake and wants to eat it, too. He's not in love with her, he's infatuated. But that's beside the point, he used you to fill his time this summer until going to meet her, knowing he was going to meet up with this person who he's been all excited to meet. VERY selfish of him. If you were just casually dating for the last 3 months that would be one thing, but his telling you about loving you and marriage and all that seems like something he might've been saying because he knew you wanted to hear it, and it'd keep you hanging on while he's messing with this other woman. Yuck.
nowhereman82 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 You are Plan B hunny. Don't let him walk on you and cut him him off!
Author celinedion1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 He's been there 2 days, how can you be in love with someone you just met two days ago? He's been in my life for 10 years, and I feel like i never really knew him. I just don't get how he looked me in the eyes and lied to me about all this. He told me that there was nothing between them. He told me that they were just friends. I just feel so dumb, and just so used.
nowhereman82 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 He isn't in love, he is in lust. This is nature at work so they will hopefully have sex. He's in another mental state because of the drugs his body is pumping out. And they have built up an emotional connection over a long time over the internet, so she is not a complete stranger. Just think of it as he has hooked up with a coworker and left you, if it's hard to grasp the internet thing. And act in the manner. He put his needs above yours. He lied to you. He lead you on. He played with your heart. Take this upset and make it into anger or something else. Just don't listen to his BS when he comes back and trys to hook up with you. Or the new girl thing blows up in his face and he comes crawling back to you.
Author celinedion1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 I dont consider 3 months to be a long time, especially since they weren't talking every day. She has no phone so they were only able to talk once a week. Also she has no internet she has to get it from a signal from a neighbor.
megapositive Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I dont consider 3 months to be a long time, especially since they weren't talking every day. She has no phone so they were only able to talk once a week. Also she has no internet she has to get it from a signal from a neighbor. It doesn't matter how often they did or did not talk, by internet or by phone. The point is he told you he is "in love" with her. You can only go by what he says. Personally I think he's behaving foolishly and cruelly. Cruel to you and foolish about this other woman. Would you be happy with this scenario: he comes back from seeing her and says he loves you but doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with anyone. What would you do? What would you think?
BCCA Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Sounds like he didnt want to be alone, so he made sure he had something lined up before leaving you. Remember, when a breakup occurs, you see the absolute WORST out of people. They go on a selfish-spree where everything they do is ALL about them. I think your only real option is to stop talking to him period. Dont let him walk the fence line. He made a choice, and he needs to stick with it. Make sure the road to your heart isnt an easy one to travel, otherwise, he'll get the idea that this come/go crap is ok.
Author celinedion1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 It doesn't matter how often they did or did not talk, by internet or by phone. The point is he told you he is "in love" with her. You can only go by what he says. Personally I think he's behaving foolishly and cruelly. Cruel to you and foolish about this other woman. Would you be happy with this scenario: he comes back from seeing her and says he loves you but doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with anyone. What would you do? What would you think? He didnt tell me he was in love with her, he just implied it today after being at her house for 2 days. I would think that he was lying to me and with his behavior I wouldnt believe a word he says. Also he seems to be addicted to um intimacy so i'd love to see how his new 3,000 mile relationship is going to work, since he wont be able to be with her whenever he wants since he has no money.
Author celinedion1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Sounds like he didnt want to be alone, so he made sure he had something lined up before leaving you. Remember, when a breakup occurs, you see the absolute WORST out of people. They go on a selfish-spree where everything they do is ALL about them. I think your only real option is to stop talking to him period. Dont let him walk the fence line. He made a choice, and he needs to stick with it. Make sure the road to your heart isnt an easy one to travel, otherwise, he'll get the idea that this come/go crap is ok. I've cut off all contact with him. he cant e mail me, he cant call me, he cant instant message me. He basically has no way of getting a hold of me unless he shows up at my front door.
sunshinegirl Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 He's been there 2 days, how can you be in love with someone you just met two days ago? He's been in my life for 10 years, and I feel like i never really knew him. I just don't get how he looked me in the eyes and lied to me about all this. He told me that there was nothing between them. He told me that they were just friends. I just feel so dumb, and just so used. Sweetie, that bolded sentence is perhaps more important than anything else you've written. He's basically an enigma, a mystery, an aloof inaccessible person...the kind of person you cannot - and should not - trust because you have no idea what they're really thinking or feeling. He's just proven to you why you can't trust him. He's an assclown. Good for you for blocking all forms of communication. Now, if he ever shows up at your doorstep, don't answer it. Your life will be so much happier without him in it. Trust me.
Author celinedion1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Sweetie, that bolded sentence is perhaps more important than anything else you've written. He's basically an enigma, a mystery, an aloof inaccessible person...the kind of person you cannot - and should not - trust because you have no idea what they're really thinking or feeling. He's just proven to you why you can't trust him. He's an assclown. Good for you for blocking all forms of communication. Now, if he ever shows up at your doorstep, don't answer it. Your life will be so much happier without him in it. Trust me. A part of me feels like a big weight has been lifted from me but another part of me feels misserable. I just don't know what to think, He's a pathological liar. I just feel so confussed right now.
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