nowhereman82 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Dreams do not play fair and know exactly what buttons to push. My dream today made me have the overwhelming urge to reach out and contact her as the feelings of comfort and anxiety were so intense. She took our wedding date and all the arrangements and married a kid that was a senior in high school getting ready to get out. Her family let me know all about it of course (guess the cake wasn't really that good lol). For some reason she was still part of my daily life and I think we may of actually lived together with other people. She kept getting angry with me because I was pointing out what a horrible mistake she had made. The kid had gotten a football scholarship nowhere near the med schools she meant to go to...so in the end it just wasn't going to work. Everything she was doing was delusional and self destructive....and she brushed everything off that I said as angerness and bitterness. So frustrating. We cuddled a couple times during the discussions. In my dream it felt so good. I think that's what I ultimately miss the most. Being able to cuddle and sleep next to her. The feeling of comfort. Damn dreams....leave me alone. I was doing so good and now I feel like such ****. /end rant (happy 300th post to me)
JooLee Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 just like how these irrational emotions comes.. it will fade as well. you know the books... keep busy and self control and you'll be feeling fine again. dont entertain the feelings. you are strong enough to get through this good luck!
sunshinegirl Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 nowhereman, dreams are often our subconscious trying to work something out. I usually have a lot of dreams post-breakup; this time is no exception. Mine also have wacky plot lines but they usually involve my ex being a thoughtless, selfish jerk in one way or another. I interpret dreams like that to mean that I am trying to accept that my ex wasn't good to, or for me. My subconscious is much more willing to entertain his bad side...when my conscious brain keeps propping him back up on the pedestal. Soooo... instead of (or in addition to) feeling nostalgic about cuddling with your ex, I might suggest that you pay attention to what your ex did in your dream: namely, marry someone else while still carrying on with you. What crappy character! To be clear, this doesn't mean that in real life your ex did or would do such a thing - your dream might be a caricature, an extreme version, of the careless way in which she handled your heart and your feelings. The question is: why would you want to cuddle up to someone who doesn't/didn't/won't have your best interests at heart? (((hugs))) SSG
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 5 years of sleeping next to someone will do that I guess =/ I think my dream was more along the lines of she is being self destructive and won't hear it from anyone. And nothing I can say will make a difference. But I already knew this. I had to find a lot of strength this morning to not contact her. BLEH!
0hpenelope Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 But I already knew this. I had to find a lot of strength this morning to not contact her. BLEH! You know, whenever I have dreams of Lawrence, it got "easier" (I should say more bearable instead) to coach myself out of contacting him when I'd tell myself "You miss him, that's why you dreamt about him. What else is new? You're missing the fool and your dreams are still fools." I don't read into my dreams of Lawrence anymore. I just chalk it up to that: I miss the fool, but in no way will I break NC. I doubt I will get paid enough money to do that. And now that he has a new girl in his life, there is definitely no place for me. Life's still good, in spite of everything. Just take it for what it is, bro. You dream of her because you miss her. Perhaps thinking like this might help you as well? If you want to break NC to remind yourself why you have NC in the first place, then do it.
Ingenue Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 dreams are often our subconscious trying to work something out. What does it say about your subconscious (or conscious) when you don't have dreams of your ex. In the initial post break-up days I would still entertain a dream or two of him. But nowadays, I have no dream-like thoughts of him at all. If I do think of him, it's when I'm awake. Is my subconscious denying the reality of the break-up because it refuses to deal with the situation? As I think about it, it is quite strange that I'm not dreaming of my ex. I used to have dreams about him all the time when we were together.
Author nowhereman82 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 I went several weeks without a dream so maybe it will just catch up to you?
Ingenue Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 If that's the case nowhereman, I'm so not looking forward when those dreams do catch up to me. It'll probably mean I'll wake up infinitely sad
The Collector Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 I agree with the OP. Last night I dreamt I could suck my own cock.
Lizzie60 Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 That is sooo true.. I remember some strange dreams.. they made me sooo sad... (for ex. seeing my little girl's face under the ice trying to get out, looking at me and I couldn't do anything, that was like over 20 years ago and I can still remember that day).. dreams can be downers ... but they usually don't last more than a day or two.. try to relax before you go to bed.. do not think about her.. when you're in bed.. I know it's easier said than done.. but unfortunately we have no control over our dreams.. ..
sedgwick Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 I dream about mine every single night, to the point that I've more than quadrupled the amount of sleeping pills I have to take just to get a couple hours' sleep. When I do manage to drug myself enough to pass out, I dream that he's with someone else and they're laughing at me. I wake up from these dreams vomiting, which means I've spent at least three to four nights a week puking for the past 14 months. I would give anything in the world to just sleep through the night again and not throw up. He took my ability to rest just like he took my self-confidence, my joy, and my ability to trust other people. He left me with nothing, as punishment for not being an old-time fiddle player. I will never, ever, EVER attempt to date again. Good thing I've never been asked out so I don't have to worry about it!
mollers Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Yes I seem to be dreaming more 4 months down the line. Last night in my dream I bumped into him and he was in a new relationship with a woman who had a child the same age as mine. I remember feeling outraged in my dream that he could leave me for someone who was in exactly the same position as me. (In my heart of hearts I think he wanted someone without any responsibilities) and I woke up feeling very sad and rejected. It's strange what the mind can do...
Recommended Posts