rebecca1 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 im so messed up, relationship of 7 years broke up last night and he moved out this morning.. my emotions are all over the place, rage, hurt, sadness, guilt, dispair. i cant stop crying. i just cannot function. im so scared to face life as a single mother without him. its all my fault. i have suffered with severe post natal depression after both my kids. we worked thru it the first time but i think he has had enuf this time. my kids are 5 and 6 months. im a good mother and i love my kids but im crumbling here. i just want to curl into a ball and die. every scenario of how i can do it is flying thru my head. cant cope with the kids (will never hurt them) but feels like a never ending anxiety attack. god i wish i could pick myself up. seeing him hurts, not seeing him hurts. visions of what hes doin and who he could be with are driving me absolutely insane.. i really feel like committing myself. i just dont think im strong enuf to deal with this. my kids deserve better than this. someone please help me... please
stillafool Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Rebecca do you have family or friends nearby that are off today and can come over? If so you should call someone to come be with you and the kids. Anyone going through the first day of break up will have these problems and I feel for you. Are you a spiritual person? I am and I get much relief from prayer when I feel desperate. I feel for you sweetie but remember your babies need you far more than you need him.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I think you should seek professional help, Rebecca. Maybe leave the kids with family or a friend and go see a doctor right away. You need to be around for them. I know it hurts, but think of their well-being and your own. You want to be around to continue being a great mom. Please, go see someone or go be with family!
lonelygurl Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I'm so sorry for how much pain you are in. I can relate to that pain. WHen my b'f and I split the first time I thought I would die. I was so uncontrollable with my feelings and emotions. I can't say the pain gets better because I don't know. I know after six months of a break I was still in considerable pain, but was function better than at first. If you need to admit yourself to get some help then you should. It will get you away from the daily tasks that need taken care of and give you a chance to get some therapy to help you through. My friend just had a bad break up, two months before they were to be married. SHe is a nurse and she couldn't handle it so she admitted herself for eight days. THey give you intense therapy to help you through. Her and her son now see a regular therapist to work through the problem. It has been almost two months for her and she is looking better but still emotionally raw. It is terrible when the person you love and trust just leaves.
Author rebecca1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 all my family are in england at my uncles funeral. i couldnt go bcoz the baby has no passport. ive never felt so alone. i just dont no what to do. i just cant see light at the end of the tunnel.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 its hard rebecca1, its very hard. but you need to go see a professional for your sake and your children's. im seeing a therapist and it helps alot.
Shygirl15 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Look, please know that we've ALL been there and lived through it. YOU CAN. Don't give up that easily, don't give up for yor kids. My best friend committed herself 3 months ago leaving her 2 kids behind, it's extremely horrible for the kids. I just wish she talked to somebody before she did it. You still have a chance. Talk to somebody close to you, get help, but for God's sake don't go there.
sedgwick Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Shygirl, your friend "committed herself?" Do you mean she checked herself into a hospital? It may be awful for the for the kids, especially if she's been there three months (hopefully she has awesome insurance!!), but she did the right thing. You say you wish she'd talked to someone before she did it -- was she not in therapy? Maybe the stigma of seeking psych treatment was such that she didn't feel comfortable speaking with anyone before checking herself in. If she felt she couldn't care for herself and needed professional help, she made the correct decision, and her children will hopefully be better for it in the long run. To the OP, please don't let this stop you from seeking help! Yes, it may be awful for your children now, but if you need to check yourself into a hospital for a few days, please do not hesitate to do so. Do you have anyone around who could watch your children for a day or two? Could they spend the night with friends while you go into a hospital for a psych evaluation?
Author rebecca1 Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 thank u for all your comments. things have gone further as the day progressed. hes back on the drink today after 5 years of being sober. he brought grass into the house. bcoz he was drunk he left it on the ground. my 6month old crawled over and ate some of it.. i can never ever forgive him 4 this. i am staying with a friend until i can sort out what to do next. both myself and my son have been checked out in the hospital. i have a broken finger and he is perfectly fine. im jst so relieved were all ok and its finally over. i feel stronger because i can see that i have not caused this. i no its not goin 2 be easy but im gonna hit the gym, get my confidence back and face the world as a new and stronger woman
amandaparker503 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I know this is really hard. In 2 years i have split from my sons father and then split from a man who promised me the world. i am also suffering form depression and i am now seeing a therapist. You have to ,for your sake seek some kind of help. I wanted to kill myself, i thought about it , i just felt like my life was not worth anything. I pushed my son away , i didnt see him for a week, i could not cope. Sometimes we cant cope, and that is OK I spent a week with my parents, i dont have any friends in this area because i am new to the area. My parents were great, its amazing , when you finally tell people "look i cant cope" , people react in the most amazing way. I am back home with my son, who smiles at me everyday and makes my life worth living, i pray he does not get affected by my moods, my down time, he is 4 after all. But he just wants his mum, he wants me to love him and that is all he wants. Stick with the thoughts of your children , do anything you can to keep yourself with them, i even just started reading to my son at first, that is all i could manage. Keep in contact with anyone who cares about you, stay with them, cry , talk , cry,and for your sake and your children , get some help. It will make your stronger. I go to the gym, i keep strong, but i still have down days. Our time will come, we will have our time to shine. Keep faith in you x Pelase take take and dont do anything silly. x x Thinkng of you , during this horrible time x
BCCA Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Trust me, as someome who tried to end their life and got VERY lucky, it's never worth it. Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know how badly life sucks right now, I think anyone posting here does. You feel like you'll never be whole again, and the pain will never go away. But, in time, it does. I wont lie to you - this is going to hurt for a while. Eventually, though, you'll realize that its better that it happened now than in 10 years. Why waste another moment of you life with someone who doesnt want to be with you. Im sorry, I really do feel for you. Please, though, think of your children and call someone if you need to. Hell, I would be willing to send you my # and you can call me to talk. Im not even religious, at ALL, and I still prayed to universe to help me though this. It does help. Take care of yourself.
sedgwick Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 For what it's worth, eating marijuana never hurt anybody.
EmperorR Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 we've all been there don' take the easy way out, you'll get through that trust a week ago i just wanted to die, eve though I miss my gf so much, every day is getting easier.
2hurt2liv Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 I felt this same way just 3 days or so myself. I just wanted to die the pain of my BF telling me he had no feelings for me and he was done and me having to move out with no family here in this state and really no one back from where I was, scared me to death. But i posted on here and the people helped actually the support and telling me it would get better. I have sinced got my little room I was so scared of getting started moving in and will be totally there today. Talk to freinds and family or a counceler but it is not worth hurting yourself.
celinedion1 Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 I'm really sorry that your going through this. My 5 year relationship offcially came to an end today. It's extremely painful but I know I'm better off without him and I will find someone better. Maybe you have some friends who you could take your kids to and who you could stay with. Also maybe talking to a therapist or seeing a doctor might also help. Best of luck to you and things will get better.
Shygirl15 Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 Shygirl, your friend "committed herself?" Do you mean she checked herself into a hospital? It may be awful for the for the kids, especially if she's been there three months (hopefully she has awesome insurance!!), but she did the right thing. You say you wish she'd talked to someone before she did it -- was she not in therapy? Maybe the stigma of seeking psych treatment was such that she didn't feel comfortable speaking with anyone before checking herself in. If she felt she couldn't care for herself and needed professional help, she made the correct decision, and her children will hopefully be better for it in the long run. No Sedgwick, she killed herself after her husband left her for another woman. It was pretty horrific and sad. I didn't think he was worth it. No man is, for that matter.
sedgwick Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 Oh!!! You left out the word "suicide" after "committed!" I thought you meant she "committed herself" to a hospital! That is horrible. I am so sorry.
Recommended Posts