jimmymat87 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Hey need some advice... Got a mates 21st birthday on this weekend... only problem is my ex will be there aswell... im trying to do the no contact thing and feel if i go this will all be ruined... but i dont wanna not go and give her the satisfaction of knowing why... what do u all think i should do??
Author jimmymat87 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 anyone..... i dont want to break no contact but i dont want to let her control my decisons
mixwell Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 I would go to it since its your mate but I would ignore the girl... Don't make any passes at talking to her etc.. It might hurt you but if its a good mate then you shouldn't let your relationship issues get in the way of being with a mate on his/her birthday.. I think this 1 occasion it would be okay just don't talk to her or IF she initiates contact with you then keep it limited.. Thats just what I would do and my .02 on it.
D-Lish Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 This depends- can you handle seeing her right now? Do what is best for you. You don't owe anyone an explanation if going to this party might set you back if she's there. If seeing her might cause you a set back- don't go. Do something one on one with your mate and a few boys on a different date. Just tell him ahead of time that you don't want to see her at this point in time and you will make it up to him by taking him for drinks at a later date. Why is she going to be there? Do you guys share the same friend group? If so- set up a guys night...
Author jimmymat87 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 ummmm i dont know if seeing her there will set me back.. i can just completely ignore her ( i think)... The only thing im worried about is her coming to talk to me and causing a scene (she has done this before). She loves to be the centre of attention and if she doesnt get what she wants she crys and all that crap.. then if that doesnt work she will start trying to flirt with other people i know at the party.. Ummm we dont really share mutual friends but girls she is friends with are friends witht this guys girlfriend so thats why she will be there... P.S yes i know she is immature if anyone was thinking that
D-Lish Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 Well, it sounds like she is the one that shouldn't be going- afterall he's your mate. Well- if there is alcohol involved (pfft), there will be drama. SO- we've established that if you go there will be drama... Do you want to deal with it- or not?
Author jimmymat87 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 well id rather not deal with it... but i cant avoid these places forever... I know if i dont go i will just see her out soon anyway.... we goto many of the same places and live on 30 second drive from each other... I just want her out of my life so i can move on.. i honestly think she enjoys drama
wareagle Posted September 17, 2008 Posted September 17, 2008 My opinion is don't go! You sound like you still have some issues to deal with and are not completely ready for contact with her!! If your friend is a good friend he will understand! Don't take a chance at putting yourself back to day one of the healing process!!
Author jimmymat87 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 i think im gunna go.. i need to stop letting her control my decisions
9Lives Posted September 20, 2008 Posted September 20, 2008 i dont think you should go. It is never good to be around a ex if you still have feeling for them. You will be dealing with that decision for days to come
Author jimmymat87 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Posted September 21, 2008 you guys were right... i went.. but i probably shouldn't of.. We both just completely ignored each other which was good... I feel so so sad today i really miss her i dont know how much longer i can deal with this... its been 9 months now .. Doesnt help that she looked amazing either This **** really sucks its ruining my life.
Intergalactic Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 you guys were right... i went.. but i probably shouldn't of.. We both just completely ignored each other which was good... I feel so so sad today i really miss her i dont know how much longer i can deal with this... its been 9 months now .. Doesnt help that she looked amazing either This **** really sucks its ruining my life. it was always going to be hard. just focus on the bad things, and the fact that you got through 9 months of NC before this. you're strong, it will be okay.
9Lives Posted September 21, 2008 Posted September 21, 2008 you guys were right... i went.. but i probably shouldn't of.. We both just completely ignored each other which was good... I feel so so sad today i really miss her i dont know how much longer i can deal with this... its been 9 months now .. Doesnt help that she looked amazing either This **** really sucks its ruining my life. see my friend, that is why I told you not to go. Now this is going to be on your mind for days to come. Now do this for me.....on a piece of paper write down what you wanted in the relationship. Write down what was good and what was bad about her. that will help you get back into reality. Right now it is all emotion.
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