Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I joined a dating site and met someone through it. He contacted me first... we spoke online for a while before finally deciding to meet up. We met at a starbucks and spoke over coffee for like an hour and a half. He thanked me for being normal (we had spoken about all the weirdos we met on the site)... it was an enjoyable conversation. He had to leave for work, which he apologized for and said he would love to keep talking. We hugged and went out separate ways. Online he said had he not been interested he would have left in 15 min. He thanked me again for being normal... told me I had looked nice... we spoke some more. We set another time to hangout 2 days later, but it was kind of an early hangout so he said to call first to see if he was awake (we were up so late talking he wanted to make sure)... I did call the next day and got no answer until much later, I can't remember what time. He told me he had gotten called into work at 8:30 AM and was so sorry to have to cancel our plans. Whatever, no worries... I understand that. At least he had told me to call and I didn't go to the place where our plans were for. That night I contacted him, asked if he was busy... he said he wanted to hangout so we got a later dinner/snack (like 10:30/11pm) and hung out until 1 AM talking. He seemed interested still... since then we've spoken every night online. He said he wanted to do something adventurous with me so I suggested rock climbing. He seemed really into this, calling it "awesome", etc.... he set a time for 2pm today. At 2 pm I was at the place but he wasn't. I texted him twice while waiting for 20 min., called twice, it rang and went straight to answering machine. When I left I texted him again saying so and asking him to call. At around 8:30 I texted him again asking what happened to him. No answer. There have been times he hasn't gotten my text... but I can't see it happening 4 times in a row. Also, the calls seemed to go through just fine. What I don't understand is why tell me all those things at all if you're not interested? Even if something came up today, its not hard to call someone and say you can't make it. My friend suggested restricting my number and calling and seeing if he picks up. First of all that's not really failsafe to see if he's ignoring me cause its restricted, most people don't answer those. Second, I don't like to play those games. However I hate waiting around wondering. I just hope he's not hurt... but I know better than to worry about that because in past situations I always do and guess what... they're absolutely fine and probably having a grand ol' time without me. So I'm very annoyed, even a little pissed off. I hate this more than anything. I was really starting to like the guy and this doesn't make any sense to me. I know I should cool it, not worry, just wait... but I can't really help it. I guess I just wanted to vent and maybe have some input. Its just such BS to me... the only viable excuses I can think of are 1) he's passed out, or 2) he lost his phone and can't get to a computer. Ugh. I'm so angry.
Green Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 sorry this happened to you sounded like you guys were hitting it off. Well it could be as simple as he's flakey.. he might even still like you but just be a flakey guy who often forgets his plans or just cancels them in plane rude ways... maybe he completly forgot and for some reason didn't have his phone on him and maybe he relized now but is embaresed about forgeting.... or maybe he had some event in his life like a ex girl comming back or a new girl he likes better... or a parent die or hes in the hospital or dead...
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Yeah well... obviously it could be that, or any other of a million things. Maybe he grew tentacle hands and, well, we all know how difficult it is to text with those. Seriously though my friend suggested that. I sure hope he's not in the hospital or dead, he seemed like a cool guy.
TigerCub Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 So sorry you went through this, it sucks! I don't know exactly why he did it because unless it was an emergency, there is no excuse at all. But I do find that some guys like to pull crap like that to test your reaction and test their limits in terms of how they can treat a girl. I don't think you should do the blocking the number and giving him a call because what does it prove? If he answers what are you gonna say? It'll just make you look a little "stalkerish". I also don't know why you would care if he's gonna call and stuff, because if it was me, I wouldn't put up with that kind of treatement and I would be so turned off that I wouldn't want to date them again (unless he had a really good 'emergency situation' kinda excuse). It really does suck that you connected and stuff and then he plays stupid games or he's just flaky, but I guess if you really like him, just wait for him to call you and see what he has to say and then decide if his reason is good enough to give him another go at it.
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 I don't think you should do the blocking the number and giving him a call because what does it prove? If he answers what are you gonna say? It'll just make you look a little "stalkerish". I also don't know why you would care if he's gonna call and stuff, because if it was me, I wouldn't put up with that kind of treatement and I would be so turned off that I wouldn't want to date them again (unless he had a really good 'emergency situation' kinda excuse). It really does suck that you connected and stuff and then he plays stupid games or he's just flaky, but I guess if you really like him, just wait for him to call you and see what he has to say and then decide if his reason is good enough to give him another go at it. I totally agree that its stalkerish to do the blocked number thing. My friend is like that though, her whole relationship is like a mind game... it upsets me but she loves him so whatever. I also agree that unless he's got a damned good excuse and seems genuinely sorry, I'm not going to be seeing him again. I want to but that's such bullcrap and I don't want to waste time with it. I've got other guys who want to see me, I don't need to bother with someone who's going to play games. Yeah... that seems like the best course of action. I wish I wasn't so impatient. :-\ Lol I just told my friend: I hope he's not hurt or dead, I would be sad... but I know that's never the case. And he said: And if he's not you'll wish he was dead/hurt. So it cancels out. Haha.
norajane Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 What I don't understand is why tell me all those things at all if you're not interested? Even if something came up today, its not hard to call someone and say you can't make it. Yep, sometimes it's very easy to see why some people are single, isn't it?
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Yep, sometimes it's very easy to see why some people are single, isn't it? Yeah really lol. He said he hasn't dated in 2 years. He got on the site cause a friend suggested it and found someone through it. He's said he's not the type to do flings, and he has gotten offers through the site. So maybe that's why its been 2 years... also he said he got tired of meeting typical girls at clubs.. thats why he messaged me, cause I seemed different. So maybe he's just picky, I don't know... but yeah... definitely not any way to act to keep someone around.
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Would it sound desperate or weird to call him now and leave a message if he doesn't answer, saying I'm a little worried? Because honestly I'm starting to get worried...
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 HAH. Nevermind. That dickhead is on myspace right now. ****er. Excuse my french but I just got really pissed off.
shockandawed Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Hey Kaito, This sucks and I know it is driving you crazy. I have absolutely no idea how anyone can just stand someone up. Can you tell if he has accessed any of his online sites? I know I would want an answer, even though, honestly, he probably won't ever give you one. I think it would be ok to call him and leave a voicemail, why not? I would make it somewhat upbeat..hey..I hope you are alright..I am a little worried because I can't imagine you would be the type who would stand someone up. Then I would leave it at that. Unless there is a very valid reason to this, he is definitely not the type of person you want to get involved with.
shockandawed Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Ignore the previous post..just saw your myspace comment. My personal opinion would be to blast his worthless #$#$. but you may want to wait and see what the more diplomatic posters say. In any case, be glad you found what kind of a spineless prick he is now instead of later on.
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 In any case, be glad you found what kind of a spineless prick he is now instead of later on. yeah really... I am glad I found out fast though because before we met I had made tentative plans to meet this really good looking guy next weekend. Now I won't feel bad about going to see him. And yeah, I've decided this guys a worthless piece of crap. I'm not dealing with someone who can't be straightforward and plays such stupid games.
D-Lish Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I wouldn't bother reaching out to him again at all. He's obviously a flake. The fact that he set up a date and then left you there waiting without explanation is inexcusable. SO you saw him on myspace- which means he's fine... and is just a jerk. As hard as it is to walk away without explanation- you have to. He doesn't deserve anymore energy spent on him.
Legend Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 dude.... i've been stood up by the same girl 3 times in 2 days. every excuse in the book thrown at me. chiiiillllll.
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Wait wait, it gets better... He told me his friends were at a porn convention and asked him to go.. he said he wouldn't cause he doesn't like spending money on an idea. So on his myspace, what is there? New pics of him at a porn convention. What. A. Prick. He stood me up to go there.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 OMG!!!!! A porn convention?!? What a loser. Don't feel bad about being stood up. It happened to me twice. One guy had asked me out several times during the course of a year, but I always turned him down because I had a boyfriend. So one day the BF was gone, and I agreed to go out with him. Yep, stood me up. I couldn't believe it.
D-Lish Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Delete him as a friend on myspace immediately.
Author Kaito Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 He's not even my friend on myspace, he doesn't know I know his... he has no idea I know about why he ditched me.
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