portcitykitty Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I've been feeling rather discouraged lately, and I was just needing some positive feedback on the matter. I've been trying to figure out how people "luck out" in certain situations and I'm still stuck, going nowhere. I know I'm not a beauty queen, but I see all these other women who have a man and I know damn well I look as good (if not better) than them, and I just want to know how in the world they luck out landing that man and getting married, and I'm still stuck?! I notice a lot of people find that one, and in no time, they're living together, getting engaged, getting married, and are happy. Most of my friends are married and have kids, and God love them, I'm happy for them, but I know I'm as good (if not better) than these people, and I just don't see how they have all the luck, and I don't! When is it going to be my turn?! I think I'm the best catch anybody can ever have. I'm the most loyal, trustworthy, and nicest person ever. I have so much to offer, yet nobody will give me a chance! I used to never care about having a boyfriend and getting married, but up until I became involved with men at 27, I started to see what the hype was about. I'm currently involved with a great guy, and who knows, maybe something will happen down the road, but I'm still discouraged. I'm losing my patience and I'm ready to settle down! I feel that I'm never going to have my happily ever after! Has anybody ever felt this way?
Tony T Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Since when did you become an expert on who is happy and who is not??? Just because people around you are finding mates, getting married, having kids, etc. doesn't in any way even imply that they are happy. On the contrary, most of them are acting as automatons and doing what they think is expected of them. As far as attracting the right person, that will happen for you. If you wanted to get married tomorrow, you could if you really wanted to and settle, like your friends, for whomever comes into your path. Marriage is a very important step and you need to choose wisely and carefully. You are actually quite lucky that you are able to enjoy some golden moments of singlehood without having to deal with the problems of husband, children, finances, etc. Relish every second you can.
Author portcitykitty Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Since when did you become an expert on who is happy and who is not??? Just because people around you are finding mates, getting married, having kids, etc. doesn't in any way even imply that they are happy. On the contrary, most of them are acting as automatons and doing what they think is expected of them. As far as attracting the right person, that will happen for you. If you wanted to get married tomorrow, you could if you really wanted to and settle, like your friends, for whomever comes into your path. Marriage is a very important step and you need to choose wisely and carefully. You are actually quite lucky that you are able to enjoy some golden moments of singlehood without having to deal with the problems of husband, children, finances, etc. Relish every second you can. Thanks for the reply...you're right Tony... I just need to get off my pity-pot I do thank God I'm still single (sometimes), but I also get to feeling sorry for myself and wishing I wasn't the only one still single out of all my friends. However, they have told me that they miss being single and not having to deal with a husband/kids, or their husband isn't treating them right, etc. Hearing them talk like that makes me think again why I am still single
OpenBook Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Has anybody ever felt this way? Yes, I have. All it took to snap out of it was reading the threads over in the "Marriage & Life Partnerships" and "Infidelity" forums. Worked like a charm. Seriously, I agree completely with Tony T. Treasure your fabulous singlehood while you still can!! I think it's the secret to being fulfilled in general... learn to be happy where you are, no matter where you find yourself at, or what's happening around you. Bloom where you're planted.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Time to find some single friends. I always feel sad about these things when I go to my hometown where everyone is married with kids. Then I come back here and hang with my single friends and I don't feel weird at all.
Author portcitykitty Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Time to find some single friends. I always feel sad about these things when I go to my hometown where everyone is married with kids. Then I come back here and hang with my single friends and I don't feel weird at all. I do have 3 or 4 single friends, but one lives 4 hours away, and the others are busy these days with their own lives with school/work. A couple of my married friends do make time for me, which I'm thankful for.
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