rod_in_gtown Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 The elusive never-ending gentleman. Hmm do they really exist? I guess it's a believe it when I see it situation for me. Hard for me to believe cause I have never seen one in the flesh. I have just met the fakers, who act like a gentleman until around date 3, forget how to open the door, complain about picking me up, follow threw on their word and so on. Yes, there's very few of us left around
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 They do exist. I haven't dated below 35+ years old in the past two years, so that might be the difference. Same here, though as I said in my other thread I am not attracted to men nearing 40 and above. Just like the elusive never-ending gentleman, I have yet to meet an other man that I am attracted to (38+ plus), though open too if I am. Yes, there's very few of us left around Maybe it's just my town, has anyone spotted any in Toronto?
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I am female and I think the offer to pay is just a simple act of appreciation. No one owes you anything, whether the date went well or poorly. I ALWAYS offer to pay and mean it. Now, when a date is bad and I have no interest in going out with the guy again, I INSIST on paying! lol Now if it went well, I genuinely offer to pay and of course, most of the time, the guy insists that he pays, which I will allow him, but as long as he can see that I was genuine about offering to pay, and I am very appreciative that he paid. And if he pays, I always thank him right after the meal! Also if it's a dinner and a movie, I'll pay for the movie, him for dinner, or if he pays for the dinner AND movie, I will pay for items from the concession stand. I think my mom has just instilled in me the sense of being appreciative towards people and not having a sense of entitlement that anyone owes me anything! After looking at the thread about men paying for the date I was wondering ... Do guys want woman to offer (whether it's a fake offer or not)? If a girl reaches for her bag or offers is he turned off or offended? Lemme know guys!
refurb Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I am female and I think the offer to pay is just a simple act of appreciation. No one owes you anything, whether the date went well or poorly. I think my mom has just instilled in me the sense of being appreciative towards people and not having a sense of entitlement that anyone owes me anything! Will you marry me (serious)? I love treating a woman well, but only those who truly appreciate it. If they expect it, it's a big turn-off. RF
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Aaaww....I'm flattered!!! lol I don't think it's a gender thing, I think it's a decency thing! I know plenty of women who EXPECT a guy to pay for them, and half of those women aren't even good company!!! And most guys I've dated are such gentlemen when it comes to that, so I am really appreciative and I think they should know that I appreciate it! Everyone works hard for their money, some work even harder... Will you marry me (serious)? I love treating a woman well, but only those who truly appreciate it. If they expect it, it's a big turn-off. RF
XNemesisX Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I already mentioned this on the other thread with a similar topic but I will mention it here too... I had always heard that the reason it is deemed proper etiquette for men to pay for dates is because the cost of the wedding is on the woman and her family. Has anyone else heard this? So do men pay for half of the wedding costs now?
Trialbyfire Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I already mentioned this on the other thread with a similar topic but I will mention it here too... I had always heard that the reason it is deemed proper etiquette for men to pay for dates is because the cost of the wedding is on the woman and her family. Has anyone else heard this? So do men pay for half of the wedding costs now? It's always been etiquette that the groom's family pay for the alcohol for the reception while the bride's family pays for the reception, so that reason doesn't sound right.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I guess that explains where the TRADITION came from, but who is thinking about marriage on a first or second date these days??!!! That's just way too creepy and thinking WAY to far ahead and making WAY too many assumptions!!!! As for weddings, my friend is a wedding planner and it seems like the new trend now is to have the couple pay for their own wedding. Who better to pay for your wedding than you two?! Makes sense to me! Also that way, both side has equal control over the wedding without having the parents who pay feel entitled to "dicate" the terms and details of the wedding! I already mentioned this on the other thread with a similar topic but I will mention it here too... I had always heard that the reason it is deemed proper etiquette for men to pay for dates is because the cost of the wedding is on the woman and her family. Has anyone else heard this? So do men pay for half of the wedding costs now?
Capricciosa Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 The elusive never-ending gentleman. Hmm do they really exist? I guess it's a believe it when I see it situation for me. Hard for me to believe cause I have never seen one in the flesh. I have just met the fakers, who act like a gentleman until around date 3, forget how to open the door, complain about picking me up, follow threw on their word and so on. I went out with this guy for the first time a few months ago, and he actually said he only opened the car door for women at the beginning. I asked him how that worked for him in the long run, to which he didn't have much of an answer, but we still are dating, and he is still opening the door, picking up most of the dinner bills (though I will do the movie tickets, or coffee, or whatever other thing we do to reciprocate), and picking me up at my door whenever we go out. I grew up with a feminist mom, and never felt comfortable about having the tab picked up, etc, so I didn't allow any of it most of my life. But you know, this time I am, and I am being treated much better by this guy than with any of the ones who I went Dutch with all these years. Is there a lesson here? I'm not sure, but I've noticed. Yesterday he asked if I wanted to go away for a romantic weekend with him. Who will pay for this, I wonder? And will all this gentlemanly behavior cease once I have sex with him:laugh:? We shall see... I also wonder about the ages of the men answering on this thread. I think this is really relevant to attitude about such matters.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 16, 2008 Author Posted September 16, 2008 That's strange that he actually admitted that he only did those things at the start, but interesting that he continued with you. Keep us posted on how it does, if he keeps it up. Also on how it works with a weekend away and after sex! I was wondering that too, does the age depend on how much chivalry the man shows? (if at all)
tanbark813 Posted September 16, 2008 Posted September 16, 2008 I'm not offended if the girl offers. If anything I'm offended if she doesn't offer. I like picking up the tab for girls who appreciate it. The ones who expect it are the problem. I was wondering that too, does the age depend on how much chivalry the man shows? (if at all) I'm 31 and I open doors, including car doors.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 I'm 31 and I open doors, including car doors. There's one for the 30 somethings!
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