janedoe123 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I have posted before and it was a long time ago. About a year at least. Now a year later, I have issues with the same man. I will try to make it short. A year ago I was going through hell with someone I thought was the one, he was an awful person and kept treating me horrible. Around my birthday we had gotten back together and the morning after my birthday I found him in bed with another girl. Well, they started dating. He moved in with her and things seemed to be fine. About 6 months ago he came back to me, told me all about doing drugs and he was so messed up and I was the only person he could see himself being with and for about 5 months he was nothing short of perfect. I was very unsure of giving him another chance but was letting him back in my life. About a month and a half ago I found out I was pregnant and he flipped out on me telling me he wanted nothing to do with me. he wouldn't talk to me, and literally would yell at me any time we talked. I was so confused. About 3 weeks ago I found out he was back with the ex girl. I ended up getting an abortion - don't think it's because I agree or disagree with what I did, I'm still struggling, but it was the right choice because I could never bring a child up in that atmosphere. 2 nights ago I saw him at a wedding with all of our friends, and he was on drugs. There is so much more - but I wanted to get the gist of it down so that ANYONE could comment on it. I'm having such a hard time. I really do need help, I feel as though I'm going in circles and i just don't understand. He says he is happy with her again and that he couldn't be better ... what is wrong with me? Why do I care so much about him and what he's doing and HOW do I let go after such a messy situation? I know it may not sound that bad but I seriously feel like I am dying inside
BannaBee57 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 First of all I'm really sorry you're going through this. It really hurts to care so much for someone that doesn't even think twice about you, but it's so worse when you know they're not good for you and will only hurt you. Classic case of your head knowing what's right, but your heart still yearning for that person. You care about him because he was such a big part of your life and roped you into believing that he had changed. It's hard to let go because you're probably angry about letting yourself go back to him only to get screwed over again. I think after all that has happened between the two of you it's completely normal to be preoccupied with what he's doing and how he's feeling. You're mind is trying to come to terms with his decision to treat you this way. I'd say give it a while. Try to aviod situations where you may run into him and let your mind and heart heal from this tragedy. If you're still feeling awful in a few months you could consider going to talk to a professional about helping you move on. Good luck and hope you're feeling better soon.
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