CandyGirlXO Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Is it okay for the girl to make the first move? I am a really shy girl, and I never had to make the first move. I have this crush on a guy and I think he feels the sameway but I'm not sure. The problem is he is shy too! Not a good combination. He went out last night and had a lot of fun, but at the end there was no kiss and not even a hug. I am not taking it too personal because I know he is shy. We are both not virgins and are in our late 20's so that's not the issue. Intact we talk about sex quite often. A friend of mine told me a few years ago he told her that he never makes the first move! This is a problem for me because I'm not doing it but I want him so bad. More than I have ever wanted anyone. What should I do? Go with the flow and see what happens? I just can't make the first move because #1 I am too shy #2 I'm not 100% sure what he is thinking. #3 I don't want him to think I'm easy! #4 what if he rejects me? I feel like if I don't do something I will lose my chance with him.
fral945 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Is it okay for the girl to make the first move? Yes. I just can't make the first move because #1 I am too shy #2 I'm not 100% sure what he is thinking. #3 I don't want him to think I'm easy! #4 what if he rejects me? In response to your excuses for taking no action: #1: Try it. Guys find a way even if they are shy. Girls can do anything guys can do. #2: The best way to find out what he is thinking is to ask him what he is thinking. #3: You don't have to be direct. Most guys don't like that anyway. Just let him know indirectly that you find him appealing (with positive comments, body language, flirty touching, etc.). #4: If he rejects you, life goes on, and you can focus on finding someone that is interested in you. Worst case he is not interested and you eliminate your lingering doubts. I feel like if I don't do something I will lose my chance with him. You might if another shy girl reads this and decides to give it a try.
carhill Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 What kind of a "first move" are we talking here? Have your taken his arm while walking with him? Very sweet but only lightly physical. No fluid exchanges involved If you haven't, try it. Very ladylike. Shy guys can be gentlemen in disguise. It's up to you to find out
High Plains Drifter Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Is it okay for the girl to make the first move? I am a really shy girl, and I never had to make the first move. .... I feel like if I don't do something I will lose my chance with him. So, I guess you don't have very much to lose? I suggest you stop agonizing over this: WTF does "Lose your chance with him mean?" You think he, or you, might DIE before someone makes the "first move?"
Author CandyGirlXO Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 LOL! No what I mean by losing my chance is either he will think I am not interested since I am not making a move and move on to someone else or maybe some other girl with bigger balls than me will make a move.
High Plains Drifter Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 LOL! No what I mean by losing my chance is either he will think I am not interested since I am not making a move and move on to someone else or maybe some other girl with bigger balls than me will make a move. Ahem! That would be ovaries dear LOL Yeah, we're really not attracted to girls with bigger balls. I think you just ought tell'm that you're interested (although I'm astonished he cannot receive these signals covertly). Then wait and see. He may move on. It happens.
Green Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I wonder did the fun night you had with him involve drinking? If it didn't you might want to do something that involves drinking alcohol. I normaly give guys on here this advice butt I guess it could work good for a girl... when you feel the time is right tell him you want to tell him a secret... get real close wisper something like "I like you" or what ever and then before you pull away kiss him on the lips... I mean heck you'll be close anyways... and then say something like that was nice..
Author CandyGirlXO Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Yes it did involve drinking, but not to the point where we were trashed. I will just go with the flow and try not to think too much about it. That's just so hard to do sometimes. Thanks for the advice. If we go out again I will try to drink more and be a flirt! Then he should get the hint.
Green Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 He's the one who needs to drink more... gets rid of his shyness and he'll make a move. Or if drinking gets rid of your shyness then do it...
Legend Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 yes. yes. yes. it is OK and encouraged for a girl to make the first move.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted September 15, 2008 Author Posted September 15, 2008 Ok thanks, but what if I make a move and he isn't interested?!?!
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